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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29611758">I Thought The Worst Was Behind Us</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/onlyherefor1/pseuds/onlyherefor1'>onlyherefor1</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The 100 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>A break up with lack of closure, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Bellarke, Clarke Griffin &amp; John Murphy Friendship, Ex's to Friends to Co-Parents, Explicit Language, F/M, Found Family, Heartbreak, Hurt Bellamy Blake, Hurt Clarke Griffin, Lots of time jumps, Memories/Flashbacks, Murven moments, Slow Burn, This is S L O W, and cute couples, cute family moments, did I mention it's painful, different perspectives won't just see things through Bellarke's eyes, drunk moments, lots of weddings, mentions of death and loss, mourning and grief, no one can communicate, painful, rebuilding a broken down relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 16:47:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>49,100</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29611758</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/onlyherefor1/pseuds/onlyherefor1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After six years together, Bellamy and Clarke break up. Clarke leaves their apartment with the intention to never return to Arcadia, a revelation causes her to reach out to her past but with no response she moves away. </p><p>Four years later she comes home with her four year old daughter, crashing back into her friends and ex's life. After four years, their friends still don't know why they broke up. Both Clarke and Bellamy are trying to figure out how to move on for their daughter, but is there a possibility of forgiveness with so much pain, anger and heartache festering between them?</p><p>All this writer can say is, not everything is as it seems.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Bellamy Blake/Echo, John Murphy/Raven Reyes, Minor Jasper Jordan/Maya Vie - Relationship, Minor Monty Green/Harper Mcintyre - Relationship, Minor Nathan Miller/Eric Jackson - Relationship, Octavia Blake/Lincoln</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>68</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>209</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. When We Were Young</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is something I've had in mind for writing for a while now. I hope you guys enjoy and I will change the ratings or add warnings at the start of the chapter. </p><p>Enjoy ;)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He’s been shouting at her for the past ten minutes. She’s been sitting with her hands wrapped around her stomach rocking back and forth. Rocking back and forth, tears fall out of eyes, she can’t stand to look at him. Then there’s a moment of silence, that kind of silence that’s deafening, that hurts. She hears him shift his weight, the floorboards creaking underneath him and he sighs, a long drawn out sigh. He’s exhausted and so is she.</p><p>‘A part of me hates you’ He croaks out</p><p>A part of her breaks to hear that, but the other part of her feels the same way. She slowly lifts her head to look at him. His eyes brim with tears and he’s staring straight at her, like he’s trying to recover some part of her he recognises. They share a heated glance, no one wants to look away, which is how it always is with them, always a competition, always a fight. It used to be what she loved about them, but now it’s what she hates. She breaks away from his stare and looks at the floor, shaking her head.</p><p>‘A part of me hates you too’ Tears pool in her eyes</p><p>‘We can’t be together anymore’ He states</p><p>‘No.’ Her voice cracks and she coughs to clear her throat ‘I suppose we can’t’ She won’t meet his eye, she’ll start crying in front of him.</p><p>‘I loved you so much.’</p><p>‘So why’d you cheat?’ She looks straight at him. He turns his head away looking out the window and doesn’t utter another word</p><p>She scoffs and stands up heading towards their bedroom. No, it’s his, his bedroom now. Her clothes are dumped in her suitcase the only thing left to do is clear out the bathroom. She grabs a box and wanders in, throwing bottles of shampoo and conditioner, perfumes, lotions but everything she touches reminds her of him. The perfume he gave her that she’s been wearing since she met him, the shampoo and conditioner that he used to wash her hair with on those lazy Sunday mornings. She’s surrounded by them, he’s everywhere she looks. He’s in the bathroom and he’s outside waiting for her to leave. He’s everywhere and she wants to cry, because soon he’ll be nowhere. She hates that she still loves him.</p><p>After a while she has everything, the box is sealed with tape and is placed by the door, the suitcase lays strewn open with clothes erupting out of it. She folds up her clothes, and dumps her laptop inside, she throws in a shirt that lies on the floor, it was from the ACDC concert he took her to last summer, he won’t miss it. She zips up the suit case and turns, scanning to see if she’s left anything else, she spots a golden bracelet glinting on his desk. She walks over and picks it up, the memories come flooding back and she has to close her eyes. Her heart is beating rapidly within her chest, her eyes burn with rage and she turns on her heels and marches into the living room. He’s sitting there with his head in his hands hearing her approach, he looks up at her stunned.</p><p>‘You sick bastard’ She yells holding up the bracelet and throws it at his chest. He catches it and clutches it making a fist. ‘Why are you keeping this?’ She demands</p><p>‘Because you lied’ He grits his teeth almost as if he’s holding back venom</p><p>‘I didn’t lie’ She screams at him ‘I was scared’</p><p>‘You lied to me and I no longer trust you!’ He yells back at her</p><p>‘You don’t trust me? You don’t trust me?’ Her voice is rising with anger, she runs towards him and unleashes all her anger, punching at his chest. ‘You cheated, you did that’ She keeps beating at his chest and he stands there taking the punches not saying a word. She feels the tears pouring out of her face and she stops, frozen in pain.</p><p>‘What about what you did?’ He snarls at her and she recoils</p><p>‘You lied’ He whispers ‘more than once,’ He stops and pulls away from her ‘All we do is hurt each other and I’m done. I’m done before you suck me in again and I can’t leave’</p><p>Her chest heaves and her eyes burn, they’ve had this conversation too many times. Neither of them has anything new to say and they won’t listen to each other anymore. They’ve exhausted each other to the point where she no longer recognises who she is anymore. She wipes her eyes and walks back into his room, she grabs her handbag, suitcase and box of crap and walks out of the room, walking straight past him without making eye contact. She unlocks the latch and opens the door. She stops in the door way and looks straight out the door, not looking back she doesn’t want to look into his eyes.</p><p>‘Things could’ve been different’ She states</p><p>‘Maybe, but we’ll never know’</p><p>She turns to look at him, despite everything she’ll always care about him.</p><p>‘Take care of yourself, Bellamy’ She smiles, something he probably hasn’t seen in months. Her eyes shine and a tear falls down her face, he moves like it’s an instinct, wanting to wipe away her sadness but that’s not his responsibility anymore, she’s not his responsibility anymore.</p><p>He coughs and clears his throat ‘Have a nice life, Princess’ He smiles at her</p><p>With her bag on her shoulder and holding her box, she moves the suitcase into the hallway and reaches for the door handle, closing the door on Bellamy Blake. She walks towards the elevator and presses the button.</p><p>‘Stop me, stop me, stop me’ She whispers underneath her breath, she looks back at the closed door. ‘Stop me’ Nothing. The door she wants to open remains firmly shut, whereas the elevator doors spring open she sighs and hauls her belongings into the elevator. ‘You won’t stop me’ she exhales and presses the button on the elevator, she closes her eyes and smiles. She reaches the ground floor and exits the building she’s lived in for the past four years. She reaches her car, and opens the boot throwing her belongings in side and slams it shut. She practically runs to the car door, needing to put as much distance between them. She turns the engine on and pulls out onto the road, driving away from him.</p><p>After an hour drive, she pulls up at Wells’s place. She parks the car and turns off the engine. She rests her head upon the steering wheel and falls apart. Everything that’s been brewing up for the past few months, erupts. She screams and cries, smashing her hands against the wheel. Her chest heaves and she gulps for breath, more tears pour down her face. Her heart burns, she’s clutches her chest as if she’s been stabbed because right now that’s what it feels like. She sobs and sobs because she’s heartbroken and she thought the worst was behind them. She stupidly thought they were okay.</p><p>She wipes her eyes and collects herself, putting her bag over her shoulder she gets out of her car and collects her belongings. She makes her way up the stairs, putting the key in the lock she opens the door, and wanders over to the kitchen counter finding a bright yellow post it note. She reads it and dumps her suitcase and box on the floor. Then wanders over to her bedroom and collapses onto the bed, feeling empty and sick.</p><p>—</p><p>He’s standing in their apartment, although now that Clarke’s gone, it’s his apartment. She’s closed the door and he remains frozen, staring at the handle wondering if he should run out and stop her. He’s moving, opens the door and runs out into the hallway, to find the elevator closing, taking Clarke away. He wanders back into the apartment, and stands by the window watching her get into her car and drive away. It seems like she couldn’t get away from him fast enough. He doesn’t know how they got here, they were arguing again this morning about the same heart breaking thing they always argue about. She kept pushing him, spitting words of malice at him and he responded with a lie just to stop it all. He bent the truth and broke her heart. He never cheated on her, he wants her to know that. He desperately wants to chase after her car screaming I never cheated, I would never cheat on you. But the truth is he needs to let her go, loving Clarke is consuming. They’re suffocating in a relationship that died a year ago. So he lied.</p><p>He remembers watching her rock back and forth, hugging and clutching her sides. Rocking back and forth, tears falling down her face. He just wanted to hold her and wipe the tears away, but he couldn’t move. Paralysed by how much they’ve hurt each other in the space of twelve months, twelve god awful months. He remembers yelling and shouting and her punching at his chest and then watching her fall apart in front of him. He remembers her marching off to collect her belongings, and then walking straight past him not making eye contact, as if he didn’t exist to her. He remembers her turning back to him before she leaves, smiling, something he hasn’t seen her do in months. But what remains as clear as day, is her closing the door and driving off.</p><p>He wanders over to the bedroom and collapses on the bed, falling into a restless sleep.</p><p>—</p><p>He jolts awake to his alarm blaring, he groans and throws his arm out desperately trying to turn it off. He glances at the time 7:15, he’s woken up at 7:15 on a Monday morning. He groans and shifts in his bed turning on his side.</p><p>‘Good morning’ he whispers kissing her temple, he brushes the hair out of her face, her eyes start to open. He leans in and kisses her lips.</p><p>‘Morning, babe’ she whispers into his chest. She adjusts her head upon the pillow and starts securing her hair back into her pony tail.</p><p>He pecks at her lips again and makes his way out of bed, heading towards the kitchen. To grab her a cup of tea for the morning. He starts pouring milk into her tea and stops, then feels hands wrapping around his waist, and then proceeds to watch her hands grab the milk carton and add more milk to her cup. He sighs and she giggles into his back.</p><p>‘I’m shocked my fiancé doesn’t know how to properly make me a cup of tea’ She laughs</p><p>He turns around to look at her, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulls her into his chest, kissing her deeply and eliciting several moans out of her.</p><p>‘You’re perfect you know that?’ He smiles at her.</p><p>‘Of course I am’ She whispers into his ear and pulls away from him flashing her hand where a diamond ring adorns her fingers. ‘This proves it doesn’t it’ She smiles at him and laughs. ‘I can’t believe I’m going to be Mrs Echo Blake!’</p><p>He picks her up and she wraps her legs around his waist, and sets her down on the counter, kissing down her neck. ‘I can’ He groans, biting at her jaw and making his way down her throat. She sharply inhales and with that he picks her up throwing her over his shoulder and makes his way to their bedroom.</p><p>‘What about my tea? It’ll get cold’ She whines</p><p>‘The amount of milk you poured in there stopped it from being tea.’ He says and slaps her arse. She laughs and he kicks the door shut.</p><p>—</p><p>‘Madi, sweetheart We’re going to be late’ She sighs ushering her daughter out of her room</p><p>She loves her daughter but god its 8:45 on a Monday morning and she needs to get her ready for school, which starts in precisely fifteen minutes. The amount of time it takes Clarke to drive them to school. Fuck.</p><p>Somehow she gets them out the house in five minutes, with both shoes on, and Madi’s pretty black hair tied in a pony tail. She’s buckled into her car seat and she manages to get them there before 9 am. She would say she deserves mother of the year for that, but she probably deserves a speeding ticket instead. She unbuckles Madi and they walk into the school building hand in hand, her baby’s first day at school. She drops her outside the classroom and hugs her tight, not wanting to let her go yet.</p><p>Madi’s her baby, she’s all had for the past four years, she can’t remember a time when she was happier. At the age of twenty-seven that’s quite a sweeping statement, because she didn’t really have a chance but she wouldn’t change this for the world. Madi’s her baby and today is her first day at school.</p><p>‘Mummy, you’re squishing me’ She pulls back but remains crouching at Madi’s level. She feels tears brimming in her eyes and she wipes them away.</p><p>‘Mummy are you sad?’</p><p>‘No, no I’m not sad. Now you don’t want to be late and you’re going to be a good girl and make so many new friends today aren’t you?’ She tickles her sides, pulling a giggle out of her.</p><p>‘Yep’ Her baby beams up at her, with that innocent grin of hers. ‘Love you mamma’</p><p>Before Clarke can even respond Madi runs into her classroom, sitting down and starts chatting away with her new friend. She’s so proud of her baby. She clears her throat and collects herself not wanting to be one of those mothers, she looks at her watch, 9:07. She looks up and stops dead, and all of a sudden she’s sixteen again. She knows she’s gawking by this point, her mouth feels dry and god all she wants to do is run.</p><p>‘Hi Octavia’</p><p>‘Hi Clarke’</p><p>The woman walks up to her followed by a hulking stature of a man.</p><p>‘How long’s it been’ She laughs hoping to ease the tension</p><p>‘Four years’ Octavia states</p><p>Octavia looks into the classroom at Madi and then back at Clarke. Her eyes are filled with shock.</p><p>‘Madi’s not his’ She says before Octavia can ask. ‘She’s not his’ she breathes out and looks down at her hand which is shaking uncontrollably. She shoves her hands into her coat pocket and smiles.</p><p>‘I didn’t think she was’ Octavia states, but they both know she doesn’t mean that. ‘This is Lincoln, my husband, that’s our boy Alex’ Octavia points at the boy sitting next to Madi.</p><p>‘Looks like Madi and Alex are already best friends’ She jokes, but it meets dead air ‘Anyway it was really lovely seeing you O.’ Shit the nickname just slipped out, she grimaces and clenches her fists in her pocket ‘but I’ve got to go.’ Before Octavia can respond she’s marching out to the car.</p><p>She throws herself into the car, slamming the door shut. ‘Fuck. Fuck. Fuck’ She slams her hands against the steering wheel. Her eyes brim with tears and she rummages desperately through her hand bag finding a tissue and starts wiping her eye. She clutches at her sides and starts rocking back and forth, trying to calm her nerves. After a while she collects herself and turns the car engine on, to reverse out of the school parking lot. She looks up and locks eyes with Octavia, who’s been standing outside of the school, watching her this whole time.</p><p>—</p><p>‘Who was that’ Lincoln says as they walk towards their car, hand in hand</p><p>‘Clarke’ Octavia says</p><p>‘Clarke? Clarke Griffin, as in the girl that broke your brother?’</p><p>They get into their car and she chucks her bag at her feet.</p><p>‘Well, by the looks of it, he’s done a number on her too.’</p><p>‘She’s got a kid’ He says ‘Do you think?’</p><p>‘Yeah, she’s his. Clarke’s a crappy liar, I was her best friend for 20 years I would know.’</p><p>‘Why did they break up?’ He asks, pulling out onto the road.</p><p>‘You know, He never told me and she left before I could ask.’</p><p>They drive in silence and she stares out the window.</p><p>‘Do I tell him?’ She ask and they exchange a look.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Memories</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hiya!</p><p>I've updated the tags, this is most definitely a Bellarke story. I'll probably update every two days or something like that, I just finished writing it all out, so I should be prompt in updating this. </p><p>Hope you guys enjoy :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>‘Bell, why are we here?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Princess will you just be quiet. I’m trying to do something nice here’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>They’re walking up some hill, in the pitch black. They’re either lost or she’s about to be murdered by her boyfriend.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘We’re lost aren’t we’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He grunts and drags her forward, pushing her towards what appears to be the top, she see’s specks of light which then appear into car lights, it’s his truck. He drags her around to the back where blankets and pillows are set up, her favourite snacks are together in a wicker basket. He opens the car door and pulls out a bag from Uncle Tom’s, her favourite diner. He reveals two burgers and the cheesy fries she loves. She squeals and throws her arms around him, kissing his lips.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘You are so getting laid tonight’ She bites at his ear lobe and he laughs</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘That’s not why I did this’ He whispers into her ear, she laughs and gives him a look before climbing into the back of the truck. He grabs his laptop from underneath the pillows and opens Netflix.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She cackles and he turns to look at her</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘What?’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Is this a Netflix and Chill themed date’ She laughs and tucks herself into his side</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He grunts and rolls his eyes, shifting to make himself more comfortable. He starts the movie and she looks up at him</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Thank you” She whispers and pecks at his lips “This is the best first date ever.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“No worries, princess and I did this purely because I love the view up here, no other ulterior motives” He whispers, biting her ear and kissing her neck which sends shivers down her spine, causing her to squirm. He smirks and she smacks his chest, she covers them with the blanket and rests her head on his chest.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>—</em>
</p><p>It’s a Friday night, Madi’s been bathed, fed and is in her pyjamas. They’re cozied up on the couch watching considerably the best Disney movie out there, Princess and the Frog. Half way through the movie, Madi drifts off. Clarke looks up at the clock, its 6pm. She pauses the movie and picks her sleeping angel up carrying her to bed. This is quite frankly her favourite part of her day. She tucks Madi into her bed and kisses her forehead, she turns the nightlight on and slowly creeps out of the room, slightly leaving the door open. She creeps downstairs and cleans up the dishes from dinner and pours herself a bottle of white before collapsing on the sofa.</p><p>She hasn’t run into Octavia since Monday and now that the week is over, that’s two more days without seeing herex’s sister, who was her best friend. She does feel bad for leaving Octavia without saying goodbye, but she didn’t want her to have to take sides and at the time she didn’t think she needed to stay.</p><p>She picks up her phone and looks into her favourites and calls Raven</p><p>‘Hello’</p><p>‘Hi’</p><p>‘Oh god, what’s happened’ She hears her friend sigh down the phone and she laughs</p><p>‘Nothing, nothing. I’ve just put Madi to bed and I was wondering if you wanted to come round’</p><p>‘I’ll be there in five’ Her best friend hangs up and she chuckles, throwing her phone onto the coffee table.</p><p>Seven minutes later she hears the door knock, she slides the latch off the door and answers with a glass wine in her hand.</p><p>‘You’re late’ she says but looks up to find Octavia standing on her front doorstep. ‘O?’ Shit she did it again.</p><p>‘Hi Clarke’ Her old friend walks straight past her into the living room and sits down on the sofa ‘We’re you expecting someone?’ She turns to look at her</p><p>‘Umm yeah, but don’t worry. How are you’ She closes the door, stunned and walks over to the sofa sitting down next to her.</p><p>It’s silent for a few seconds and then Octavia turns to her</p><p>‘Why did you and my brother break up?’</p><p>She scoffs and shakes her head. ‘Seriously, is this why you came over? To interrogate me on something that happened four years ago.’</p><p>‘Well, I’m pretty sure that’s my niece upstairs, so yeah I’m bringing this up’</p><p>‘She’s not his’ She whispers, she wasn’t expecting this to happen.</p><p>‘Cut the bullshit will you and just be honest with me. You owe me that.’ Octavia sighs ‘Tell me what happened between you and my brother’</p><p>Clarke places her empty glass on the coffee table and turns to Octavia</p><p>'The last year of our relationship was awful, O’ She breathes out and her hands shake, she feels Octavia place her hands on hers and gives her a smile.</p><p>‘You never told us’</p><p>'I didn't want to' Clarke croaks out and looks anywhere but Octavia. She takes a deep breath and continues</p><p>‘We broke up.. we broke up because we were destroying each other, it wasn’t healthy. I had been pushing him away after my accident, and then I hurt him. I hurt him really badly but we carried on our relationship, in denial that we could make it work. He ended up cheating on me’ Octavia gasps and withdraws her hands from Clarke’s.</p><p>‘We broke up the next morning and I packed my stuff and left the apartment. I drove an hour across town to Wells’s but he wasn’t there, he left a note saying he was at work or at his girlfriends. I don’t remember anything except collapsing in his spare bedroom and falling asleep. I woke up the next morning and Wells was home, I told him that Bell and I had ended and I needed to see my parents. He drove me down to see my parents where I stayed for two months. I would fall asleep at three in the afternoon, I wasn’t eating very well and I kept throwing up. I realised I was late and took a pregnancy test, which was positive. I decided I needed a fresh start, so I left Arcadia drove as far away as I could get before I found a nice town and got an apartment for me and Mads. I’m sorry I didn’t contact you, I never meant to hurt you Octavia, but I was so angry with him and I didn’t want sides to be taken, so I left. Being away was good for me, I had a really good life’</p><p>‘So why did you come back?’ Octavia asks</p><p>‘My dad’s sick’ Tears fall down her face and she quickly wipes them away, she watches Octavia’s face become consumed with shock. The door bell rings and she jumps. ‘That’s Raven’ she says and leaves Octavia staring at the coffee table.</p><p>She opens the door to find Raven holding a bottle of booze, with a cheeky grin on her face that quickly vanishes when she sees her friend. She walks in and Clarke closes the door. The three women look at each other despondently and then Raven walks into the kitchen grabbing three glasses and pours them all a drink.</p><p>—</p><p>‘Babe, I’m going on a run’ He hears Echo shout from the hallway and he waves her goodbye, she opens the door and finds Octavia standing there looking like she wants to kill somebody.</p><p>Echo stands aside and welcomes Octavia in, despite being together for almost four years, his sister hasn’t quite taken a liking to Echo. Octavia walks towards the coffee table and stares at him. Echo, sensing the tension, slips out and shuts the door carefully behind her.</p><p>‘You prick’ Octavia shouts</p><p>‘Hi Octavia, it’s really nice to see you on this blissful morning. How are you?’ He smirks sarcastically at her.</p><p>She grabs a book on the coffee table and throws it at him, it hits him in the chest and he tries to shield himself as an onslaught of magazines and books are hurled across the room, scattering around him.</p><p>‘What the fuck are you doing?’ He yells at her</p><p>She stops and look sat him ‘Why did you and Clarke break up?’ He feels likes she’s kicked him in the gut, the name triggers the response to make him feel instantly sick.</p><p>‘What?’</p><p>‘You heard me? Why did you and Clarke break up? Was it possibly to do with the fact that you cheated on her?’ She hurls another book at him and he manages to duck.</p><p>He stares at her, shocked.</p><p>‘I thought so’ She snarls and turns on her heels leaving for the door. She stops and turns back to look at him. ‘I never thought you would do that big brother, especially not to Clarke’</p><p>She slams the door behind her and he’s left frozen with the realisation dawning upon him that Octavia must have spoken to Clarke. But why now after four years? He slumps onto the kitchen stool and looks to the floor which is decorated in magazines and books thanks to his sister. He needs his sister to know the truth, he was a naive twenty-five year old. But then he’s thinking of Clarke, his heart clenches at the reminder of her, he tried to erase her from his mind, he’s moved on. He’s with Echo now, he just doesn’t understand why after four years he feels like he’s back in that apartment watching Clarke walk out on him again.</p><p>—</p><p>It’s a Monday morning and Bellamy believes that his sister will be dropping off Alex at school, around 8:50 ish. He knows it’s slightly immature to ambush her at school, but it's just so he can avoid her throwing books at him again, he’s taking advantage of that. He gets out of bed and walks into the bedroom getting into the shower, then proceeds to get dressed. He’s out the door by 8:30, kissing Echo goodbye and by 8:45 he’s parked in the parking lot and spots Octavia and Lincoln dropping Alex off, perfect.</p><p>He gets out of the car and walks over to Octavia, Alex spots him first and runs towards him. He picks the boy up and spins him around, tickling at his side and the boy squeals. He locks eyes with Octavia, who looks horrified. Lincoln instantly moves to takes Alex and carries him to class, leaving Octavia rushing up to her brother and dragging him by the arm down a corridor.</p><p>‘Why are you here’ She hisses, digging her nails into his arm, whilst she drags him round a corner.</p><p>He shrugs her off him and turns to her. ‘I came to talk to you’</p><p>‘You could’ve spoken to me later, not now. Not here. You need to leave’ She grits her teeth and starts looking down the corridor, like she’s looking for someone.</p><p>‘O, will you listen to me for a second, please.’</p><p>She looks at him and nods ‘I never cheated on her’ he whispers ‘I want you to know that, I lied so the relationship would end, all we did was hurt each other, but I never cheated’</p><p>She recoils at that, looking like she wants to slap him. She scoffs and starts laughing and then turns back to look at him.</p><p>‘You need to leave’ She states.</p><p>‘Didn’t you hear what I just said’ He says aghast</p><p>‘I did, but it’s utter crap. You led her to believe you cheated on her, she’s held that with her for four years. You made her feel like she didn’t meant anything to you. You broke her.’</p><p>‘She broke me’ His fist clench at his sides.</p><p>‘This isn’t a competition, Bellamy.’</p><p>He scoffs and shakes his head, and begins to turn the corner but stops dead.</p><p>Blonde hair, blue eyes, it’s his princess, it’s Clarke. She’s breathtaking. Clarke rushes in wearing her scrubs, her blond hair is tied up in a bun on top of her head. She’s carrying a baby girl, her black hair is in two plaits, just like he used to do for Octavia. She plops the girl down on the floorand crouches to her level, giving her a bag. The girl wraps her arms around Clarke’s neck and Clarke kisses the girls cheek. The girl giggles and runs off into the classroom, leaving Clarke alone. He watches her smiling as she watches her daughter wander off into the classroom. She chats with a few of the mothers before racing out of the hallway towards the exit.</p><p>He turns back and looks at his sister, who refuses to meet his eye.</p><p>‘Octavia’ He whispers</p><p>‘Leave her alone, Bellamy’</p><p>‘Which ‘her’ are you referring to? Clarke or my child?’ He snarls</p><p>The stabbing feeling in his chest he felt four years ago reappears. Before he realises it, he’s running after her down the corridor navigating himself through parents and children. He burst out of the school doors and finds Clarke walking swiftly towards her car.</p><p>‘Clarke!’ He bellows and she stops dead in the centre of the school parking lot.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Photograph</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>‘Octavia’ Her mum leans on the doorframe of her room, whilst she gets ready for the night</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Yep’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Whose driving you to the party?’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘A couple of boys from school’ She smiles innocently at her mum whilst curling a piece of hair around her iron</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Okay, Bell will drive you’ Her mum returns her smile</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘What!’ She whips around to look at her mum ‘No, please. Clarke’s coming over soon and Finn wants to take her to the party’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Bellamy’s driving you both’ Her mum leaves her room and then turns back ‘have a nice time’ she sings walking downstairs to reveal her brother.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘You did this’ She points her iron at him. She watches him walk into her room and plop onto her bed, picking up a magazine on the bed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I did no such thing.’ He smirks at her</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I hate you’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘No you don’t’ He yawns, whilst flipping through the magazine</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘No I don’t’ She mutters under her breath and sends a text to Atom telling him not to come and get them.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The doorbell rings and she smirks as she watches her stupid brother practically race out of her room to open the door. She leaves her room and peaks over the bannister to watch the two of them.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Hi Princess’ Bellamy says, causing Clarke too blush.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Hi Bell’ She smiles up at him and he closes the door.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘You look beautiful’ He smirks at Clarke and her blush deepens</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Thank you’ Octavia’s practically straining to hear what Clarke saying, as they talk in hushed whispers. She’s never seen her best friend like this, cute and giggly. Octavia creeps back into her room and grabs her coat, phone and bag. She rushes down the stairs, causing the pair to jump away from each other. Idiots.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘You girls done yapping, yet?’ She says looking at her brother</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Funny’ He remarks and turns to grab his car keys</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I thought Finn and Atom were driving us’ Clarke asks</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She watches her brother’s fists clench and he turns around with that smug smile</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘There was a change of plans’ He turns and walks out the door and it seems like that was more than enough for Clarke who follows him, before shouting goodbye to Aurora.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Octavia stands in the hallway and puts her shoes on, shaking her head. Her mother emerges from the kitchen and wraps her arms around Octavia’s shoulders, Octavia leans into her mother’s side.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘They’re idiots’ She says and her mum laughs.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘They’ll figure it out soon enough’ Her mum whispers into her forehead. ‘Now go, before Bellamy drives off without you.’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She hugs her mum goodbye and leaves the house to find, Clarke in the passenger seat, laughing at something Bellamy said. He’s looking at her, like all girls want to be looked at. She opens the door and hops into the back, Bellamy pulls out onto the road, driving them to the party.</em>
</p><p><em>She pretends to concentrate on her phone but watches them talk, Clarke leaning over to be close to him, their hands a movement apart. Their friendship is so intimate, so uniquely them but there's distance separating them, fear of rejection Octavia puts it down to. I</em><em>t reminds her of a story her brother once told her, she usually never pays attention, but this one stuck in her mind.</em> <span class="Apple-converted-space">  </span></p><p>
  <span class="Apple-converted-space"> <em>This one remains engrained in her mind.</em> </span>
</p><p>
  <em>Zeus, the king of the gods in Mount Olympus, created people with four arms, four legs and two faces. Zeus became afraid of the human’s power when they were together so he split them apart and condemned them to spend their lives searching for their other half.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Clarke Griffin is Bellamy Blake’s other half, they’ve found each other but they’re still miles apart.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>—</em>
</p><p>She managed to again get them to school slightly late, only slightly. She’s out of breath from running with Madi on her waist to the classroom. She’s in her scrubs, as she’s realised she has no time to change when she gets to work and she had to tie her hair up this morning, to stop Madi from playing with it. She sets Madi down on the floor and gives her, her lunchbox in return her baby jumps into her arms giving her a hug, she kisses Madi on the cheek and tickles her tummy before letting the girl run off into her class. </p><p>She stands back up and pulls her phone out of her pocket. Her phone starts ringing, a call from the hospital to enquire why she’s one minute late most likely. God she needs to sort their morning routine out. She chats with a few of the mothers, out of politeness of course. She tries desperately to stop herself from rolling her eyes when someone mentions the PTA meeting after school, she quickly excuses herself and slips outside towards the car.</p><p>She’s halfway to her car, when she stops. </p><p>‘Clarke’ She doesn’t need to turn around to know who’s behind her. Her head lowers and she keeps walking.</p><p>‘Clarke’ She reaches the car, opening the door slightly, for it to slam shut. His hand pressed firmly against the door. She backs away slightly and looks up to see him, it’s been four years. Four years and he still looks at her like he hates her.</p><p>‘We need to talk’ He says, towering over her and blocks her from getting into her car.</p><p>‘I can’t right now’</p><p>‘Why not’ He asks, his head is a fraction away from hers, if she leant up on her tip toes their lips would meet. She shakes her head, ridding herself of that thought.</p><p>‘I don’t have time’ </p><p>‘Make time’ She watches him clench his fists and he grits his teeth. ‘Why didn’t you tell me I had a child’</p><p>She looks up at him, anger building within her chest. ‘I did tell you’</p><p>‘Stop lying. Stop lying to me’ He says punctuating every word. Despite four years having happened, their argument is still so fresh and raw, she could probably trace the emotional wounds that each of them have from lashing out at one another.</p><p>‘I have to go, please just let me go’</p><p>‘No’ He snarls, he moves further and further towards her she’s pinned against her car. ‘This is bullshit, Clarke’ He shouts at her, god she wishes he would stop shouting at her.</p><p>‘I thought you didn’t care’ She whispers</p><p>‘What!’ He grits his teeth. ‘You stopped me from being a part of that’s child’s life because you thought I didn’t care. You robbed me of four years with my daughter, Clarke’ He continues to raise his voice and she can’t take this.</p><p>‘I didn’t rob you of shit’ She shouts at him and instantly regrets it, he puts her on the defensive and now she's hurt him, again. </p><p>He looks at her as if he doesn’t know her ‘After everything, you thought I didn’t care’ He falters and stands back allowing her to get into her car, she winds down her window and he looks down to where she sits.</p><p>‘This isn’t over, Clarke’</p><p>‘Leave me the hell alone’</p><p>She steps her foot on the accelerator and speeds off out of the parking lot onto the main road.</p><p>—</p><p>His heart is beating furiously out of his chest as he watches her speed off.</p><p>It’s been four years since he last saw her. A woman he was with for six years, a woman he had a crush on since he was fifteen. He's been with her since he was nineteen and he's spent the past four years pretending she doesn't exist, but now she's back and all the pain he hid and suppressed is fighting to come back up.</p><p>The first time he met Clarke Griffin, he was six years old, he and his mum went to the Griffin household to pick up Octavia from her playdate. His mum and Abby got caught up in gossip and Aurora pushed him outside to the back yard where he saw them. Clarke and O playing in the sprinklers chasing each other under the sun, he immediately ran under the stream of water and chased them around the garden. He doesn’t remember a lot from the day, but he does remember Clarke’s laugh.</p><p>His hands have curled into fists and he senses his sister slide up next to him.</p><p>‘Bell’ Octavia reaches out her hand to place it on his arm. He flinches away from her, like he’s been burned.</p><p>‘You knew’ He turns, pointing his finger at her. Eyes cold and angry</p><p>‘I found out on Friday’</p><p>The penny drops ‘That’s why you came to mine on Saturday’</p><p>‘Bell’</p><p>‘Not another word.’ He snarls at her.</p><p>He walks off towards his car, slamming the door shut and driving off to work.</p><p>He arrives at work in a foul mood, Kane dumps pile after pile of work on his desk. He sits quietly at his desk, typing vigorously to work through the shit Kane’s left for him to sort out.</p><p>‘Who pissed in your coffee’ Murphy slides on his chair over to him.</p><p>‘Don’t you have work to do?’ He mutters</p><p>Miller walks over slapping him on the back. ‘Fiancée issues?’</p><p>‘No’ He states</p><p>Jasper and Monty, the two genius/idiots of the office wander over to involve themselves in his private life. ‘Is it Octavia?’ Jasper asks smirking</p><p>‘You know she’s married’ Monty says</p><p>‘Married to Lincoln, who would rip you apart Jas’ Miller laughs</p><p>‘I know, I know. Doesn’t mean I can’t ask how she is’ </p><p>‘It’s not Octavia’ He bites out, even though he’s pissed with her too.</p><p>‘Oh, so there is something’ Miller smirks at him and the vultures all lean in, pestering him for information.</p><p>Oh fuck, why’d he go and open his mouth.</p><p>‘It’s nothing.’ He sighs and walks over to the kitchen to get himself another cup of coffee, leaving them to gossip about what’s pissed him off.</p><p>Murphy, of course, the best friend that he is follows him. He slides up next to him and they stand in silence.</p><p>‘Blake’</p><p>‘John’</p><p>Disgust rushes onto Murphy’s face, he only lets two people call him by his first name, Clarke and Raven.</p><p>‘What’s wrong’</p><p>He doesn’t answer and Murphy nods his head, they stand waiting for the kettle to boil and then Murphy has to go and break the silence</p><p>‘Did you know Clarke’s back in town?’</p><p>He whips his head up to stare at Murphy. ‘How’d you know that?’</p><p>His friend smiles and takes Bellamy’s freshly made cup of coffee out of his hand. ‘Lucky guess’ The bastards smirks and walks off but turns back quickly.</p><p>‘Blake’</p><p>‘John’ He retorts</p><p>‘M&amp;G’s tonight 9:30. No excuses, be there.’ Murphy walks away before he can respond.</p><p>He has mixed memories from that bar, most of them filled with Clarke that’s probably why Murphy will drag him down there, so he can drink himself stupid.</p><p>—</p><p>
  <em>At 11:42pm Bellamy stumbles out of M&amp;G’s dragging a very drunk Murphy to the taxi he hailedfour minutes earlier. Miller helps him coordinate Murphy to the taxi’s door.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Murphy clings onto his shirt, pulling him close and slurs out a question ’Where’s Clarke?’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>His heart clenches ‘She left, Murph’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Murphy sighs, still clinging to his shirt but he looks into Bellamy’s eye staring at him sadly.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘What happened to you two’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>His friend collapses into the taxi, lying across the passenger seats and falls into a deep sleep before Bellamy can respond.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Miller turns to him awkwardly and smiles. ‘I’ll go with him, make sure he doesn’t choke on his vomit’ Miller slams the door shut and the taxi speeds off.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘That was sad’ A voice states</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He turns around to sees a woman, tall, brunette and gorgeous. She’s leaning against the wall of the front of the pub, smoking a cigarette.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Those are bad for you’ He points at the cigarette</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘You’re right’ She says, but continues to inhale the smoke. She smiles at him with a sultry stare and he laughs, turning away.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Whose Clarke’ The woman asks causing him to stop walking.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘No one’ His fist clench at his side</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I don’t believe you’ She smirks at him</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He sighs, shaking his head and walks over to her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The woman turns her head ‘You wanna get out of here?’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He looks at the woman and smirks, taking her hand. He leads her towards his lonely apartment.</em>
</p><p>—</p><p>Clarke walks down the hospital corridor and passes a familiar room, she knows it’s late but she pops her head in to see her dad sleeping soundly. She slips into the room and sits next to her dad and takes his hand, stroking his hand with her thumb ever so delicately.</p><p>‘Don’t you know it’s creepy to watch people sleep’ Her dad says, stirring awake, his tired eyes start to open.</p><p>‘Sorry’ She chuckles, her dad takes her hand into his and brings it up to his lips kissing it softly.</p><p>‘What brings you here, kiddo’ He smiles at her</p><p>‘I just wanted to see you’ She says and strokes his face cheek</p><p>‘Ah, thought you’d check on your old man’ He sighs and starts to sit up, the sudden movement causes him to clutch at his chest and start coughing.</p><p>‘Dad’ She stands up alarmed and moves to help him settle back down ‘I should get Dr Nyko’</p><p>She moves towards the door, but her dad loosely grips her hand, causing her to stop. ‘I’m fine’ He sighs and nods for her to sit back down, trying to suppress the occasional cough.</p><p>‘Let me get a doctor’ She says, stroking his hand.</p><p>‘Those doctors don’t know what their talking about’ He states wheezing slightly, he stares up at her with that intimidating glare he loves to wield out.</p><p>That causes her to burst out laughing ‘Hmmm what about nurses?’ She smirks down at him, fluffing out the pillow underneath his head.</p><p>He smiles at that and she sits back down next to him.</p><p>‘Where is mum?’ She asks looking around the room and not seeing her in her usual spot.</p><p>‘I told her to go to Boston.’ She gives her father a piercing glare, but he continues ‘She’s been looking forward to this trip for months’ </p><p>‘Why would you do that’</p><p>‘Life can’t stop because of this’ He pats at his chest and looks at her, smiling sadly ‘Life can’t stop’</p><p>‘She should be here’ She grips at his hand</p><p>‘I’m fine’ He looks at her and then coughs slightly. ‘I’m fine’ He asserts and starts stroking her hand with his thumb. His eyes start to close drifting off slightly. She stares at him for a minute longer, scared that if she blinks he’ll disappear.</p><p>‘Go home, Clarke’ Her dad smiles up at her, opening his eyes slightly.</p><p>‘I’m still at work’ She retorts</p><p>‘Well, leave me alone so I can get my beauty sleep. Got to look my best for when your mother comes back’ He mumbles under his breath and she laughs.</p><p>‘Say hello to my gran baby’ He mumbles</p><p>‘I will’ She kisses his forehead ‘Night dad’</p><p>‘Goodnight Clarke’</p><p>She slips out of the room, slowly closes the door to let her dad rest. She walks towards the nurses desk where Maya sits. She collapses next to her friend and they look out at the ER in front of them.</p><p>‘Chocolate?’ Maya asks and raises a box of milk tray</p><p>She moans and reaches her hand into the box. ‘God I love you’ She says and devours a piece.</p><p>'An hour left of our shift’ Maya groans, looking at her watch.</p><p>She watches Jackson walk over to them, he passes her over another chart.</p><p>‘Jackson’ She whines<span class="Apple-converted-space"> as she takes the folder and plops it by her desk.</span></p><p>‘Sorry Griffin’ He raises his hands up in the air and backs away walking into the doctors lounge. He reappears a moment later, coat and bag in hand.</p><p>‘You’re leaving’ She and Maya gasp in unison</p><p>‘Sorry ladies.’ He walks over and stands behind them, his hands resting on their shoulders.</p><p>‘Have a nice night’ He deadpans and pats them on the back, he reaches down grabbing a piece of chocolate from their box and dashes off before she can grab his scrubs and pull him to the floor.</p><p>‘Jerk’ Maya mutters and pops another chocolate into her mouth</p><p>‘You love me’ Jackson turns around to smirk at them and they flip him off.</p><p>They settle back down and turn to their computers logging in all their paperwork from the shift that doesn’t want to end. Maya gets called away to assist helping calm a drunk patient.</p><p>She sighs and picks up the chart Jackson gave her and walks over to the cubicle. It’s a Friday night and Clarke pleads that whatever is behind the curtain it doesn’t take too long, she hopes for dressing a small wound.</p><p>She desperately wants to go home and sleep. Thank god for Octavia, who kindly offered to pick Madi up, she’s at a sleepover with Alex which is very exciting for a four year old.</p><p>She draws the curtain, shock encompasses her face and then she bursts out laughing. Her colleagues start to look at her, so she slips behind the curtain.</p><p>‘Wow, where’s your professionalism’</p><p>‘I’m sorry. It’s just that’ She can’t hold it any longer and bursts into another fit of laughter.</p><p>The man sits up, but stops his face twists into pain and clutches at his shoulder. She looks down at his chart which reads ‘dislocated shoulder’ and moves to stand by Murphy’s side.</p><p>‘John’ She smiles</p><p>‘Princess’ He retorts</p><p>‘What’s your favourite colour’ She asks a smile spreading upon her face.</p><p>‘I don’t know, maybe Bl—- Oww! Fuck!’ Murphy yells out in pain, as she pops his shoulders back into place, she grabs an oxygen mask for him, which he groans into and clutches at his shoulder.</p><p>‘Don’t be such a baby’ She teases, and fits his arm carefully into a sling.</p><p>She walks around to the other side of the bed and checks the morphine levels, she removes his oxygen mask and all this time he’s been staring at her, he smiles at her and pats a space on the hospital bed, scooching over to let her lie next to him.</p><p>‘Just for a minute’ She says yawning and he nods</p><p>She lies next to him, tucked into his side. They stay like that for much longer than a minute, she listens to his steady heartbeat and watches his chest rise and fall.</p><p>‘I missed you, John’ She whispers and looks up to him.</p><p>‘We all missed you’ He states looking straight ahead at the curtain.</p><p>‘I’m sorry I left, without saying goodbye’</p><p>‘It doesn’t matter anymore’ He says, his hand strokes her arm running up and down and she feels like she could slowly fall asleep here. ‘You’re here now’. He mutters, his eyelids fall close and soon he’s out cold.</p><p>She slowly lifts herself out of his hold and off the bed. She glances at her watch to see the time, she’s got ten minutes left of her shift. She moves a piece of Murphy’s hair out of his face, she quickly leans down and pecks at his cheek. She stands and looks at her old friend, smiling to herself about all the times she’s patched him up.</p><p>The curtain slides open, and someone steps into the cubicle. She clears her throat and makes her way to the Murphy’s sling making sure he won’t fall asleep on it, making his injury worse. She picks up his chart.</p><p>‘Murphy’s fine, he should be able to go home first thing tomorrow. He can stop wearing the sling after a few days, but it will take about twelve to sixteen weeks for his shoulder to completely recover. He will be able to resume most activities within two weeks, but he should avoid heavy lifting and sports involving shoulder movements until the three months are over.’ She says all of this looking down at the chart, trying to make sure she hasn’t missed anything. She looks up smiling at who she presumed to be Raven, but finds Bellamy Blake staring at her for the second time in a day.</p><p>They look at each other. He looks tired, angry and sad, expressions she remembers, on him all too well.  </p><p>‘Thanks. I… I’ll tell him that when he wakes back up’ He says</p><p>They both turn to Murphy, snoring and sleeping heavily. They both chuckle but then catch each other’s eye and their smiles disappears.</p><p>‘Where’s Raven’ She asks hoping to avoid the awkwardness which has set in</p><p>‘She didn’t answer when I called her’ He sighs and stares angrily at her, like it's her fault.</p><p>To spare herself an argument in her place of work she glances at her watch and realises her shift ended five minutes ago, she walks past him and heads towards her locker room.</p><p>She reaches her locker, grabbing her coat and bag. She ties her hair back up into a messy bun, with two strands falling in front of her face. She looks at the door and of course, he’s not there. He never follows her and certainly won’t after all she’s done. She walks towards the entrance and finds Maya walking to the exit. She loops arms with her friend and they sign out together, walking outside into the fresh air.</p><p>‘See you Monday, Griffin’ Maya yawns and gives her a hug</p><p>‘See you’ Clarke sighs.</p><p>Maya releases her and walks off towards her apartment. She turns and walks in the other direction, heading out towards the empty carpark to find her car the only one left.</p><p>‘I want to meet my daughter’</p><p>She turns to see Bellamy standing a few meters away from her. His chest heaves, from running after her. He steps forward and speaks. ‘I have a daughter, but I don’t know anything about her. I don’t even know her name. I want to be part of her life.’</p><p>She doesn’t truly process him in front of her, more frozen in shock. She doesn’t respond and just gapes at him, he lowers his head and backs away from her, turning back towards the hospital. She rifles through her handbag, opening her purse to find a small photo of Madi, she removes it and holds it in her hand.</p><p>‘Madi’ She calls out and he stops, slowly turning around. ‘Her name is Madi Aurora Blake.’ She walks forward until they’re face to face. ‘She turns five on March 5th. She loves pancakes more than waffles, she detests my cooking and is not afraid to voice her opinion. She loves Princess Tiana more than Cinderella. She loves the colour blue, sky blue more specifically. She loves going to the playground most days after school. She can count to 10, almost, she likes to skip three and seven. She can only sleep at night with her toy elephant, Ellie and… and she looks exactly like you.’</p><p>She looks up at him now, her vision a tiny bit blurry, ‘Although she did get my eyes’. </p><p>Bellamy laughs<span class="Apple-converted-space"> and she briefly sees him smile.</span></p><p>‘She’s going to love you’ She states and passes him the small photo of Madi as a baby.</p><p>He takes it and stares down in awe, she quickly turns and walks to her car, opening the door and throws her bag onto the passenger seat. She starts the car and as she drives out of the parking lot she spots Bellamy sitting on a bench smiling down at the photo.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>After four years they've finally come face to face!</p><p>Hope you enjoyed that chapter! It was a lot of fun to write.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Nothing Breaks Like a Heart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>He’s nervous, no that’s an understatement he’s sweating bricks. He hasn’t been this nervous since he was seventeen, when he asked Roma out. </em>
  <em>Anyway moving on from his ex-girlfriend, he's nervous because he's worried that Clarke won’t like the date he’s planned.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It’s their first date, which he declared he would plan. Octavia’s been taking the piss out of him all week, Clarke’s been hassling him about what to wear. How the hell should he know. He said ‘where something casual’ and received a death glare from Clarke, so he revised that too ‘smart casual’ and received a biology textbook to the head, courtesy of Octavia.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>So to recap he’s nervous, because he’s spent the past week planning this day and he’s worried he’s over sold it. He just wants to have some fun with her nothing too serious. He set up the date, in his favourite spot of Arcadia, a tall hill that overlooks the town, he's left his truck there, filled with all her favourite foods and blankets incase they get cold and Wells and Octavia over there checking that no one steals anything. He left his house in high spirits, but was dragged back up to his room where his mum and sister foisted an outfit upon him, because apparently wearing a hoodie isn't appropriate for a first date.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He walks up to Clarke’s house, holding a bouquet of white peonies (Clarke's favourite) and rings the door bell, he’s praying Clarke’s mum opens it. Abby seems to like him, well from all the times he’s crawled out of Clarke’s window and fallen on her rose bush, he’s bonded with Abby who has rushed out to pluck the thorns out of his hair, whilst Clarke laughs at him from her bedroom window.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He’s been standing outside the house for a couple of minutes, no one seems to have heard him. He’s questioning running down the street and waiting for her there, as to avoid being under her dad's glare.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Jake, for god sakes open the door’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He glances over to see a curtain drawn and Jake Griffin stands tall staring at him through the window</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I’m making him sweat, Abby’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Christ’ The door swings open and Abby welcomes him. She takes the flowers he’s holding.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I hope these are for me’ She grins at him</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Of course, Mrs Griffin’ He chuckles</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Abby’ She looks at him sternly</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Abby’ He concedes and she turns walking towards the kitchen, most likely to find a vase. Her disappearance reveals Jake, despite Bellamy being several inches taller he feels like a five year old. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Good evening, Sir’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Hmph’ Jake looks him up and down, making him feel incredibly self conscious ‘Come in’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He walks into the hallway, something he hasn’t done in a while, usually opting for the window to avoid this exact situation. He stands awkwardly by the staircase whilst he feels Jake burning holes into his head. Clarke eventually emerges from her room, running down the stairs holding her shoes and her bag. Her cheeks are flushed and she’s wearing a short red dress. He did say casual, but god she looks beautiful.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘No’ Jake barks ‘Change’ He stares down his daughter, who meets his glare and tips her head to the side, assessing whether she should push her dad or not. Bellamy desperate to one leave the house and two prevent an argument between Clarke and Jake steps in peeling off his sweatshirt, revealing his polo beneath. He flings it at Clarke who immediately pops the blue sweater on.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Happy?’ She asks, beaming at her dad</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Not particularly’ Jake mutters</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Clarke shoves on her trainers and marches to the door, he turns to Abby whose appeared from the kitchen and smiles at her. He turns to Jake and extends his hand, Jake grabs his hand and pulls him into a hug, muttering in his ear.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Take good care of her and bring her back by 11pm latest.' </em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘12:30' Abby shouts from the kitchen and Jake scowls and continues to pat his back, but more forcibly which becomes slightly, only slightly, more painful. He winces and tries to move away but the man's grip remains tight on his arm. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>'I’m happy she’s with you and not that jackass Finn.’ Jake finally releases him and steps back ‘Now go’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Abby slides up next to her husband and chuckles, patting his chest as he wraps his arms around his wife. Bellamy nods his head and smiles, completely taken aback by the slight glimmer of approval, Jake just gave him. He makes his way to the door where Clarke stands on her phone, probably texting Octavia. He opens the door for her and bows as he waits for his princess to go first. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Such a gentlemen’ She scoffs</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He follows her out, closing the front door and they walk down to his car, throwing an arm around her shoulder and wrapping her into his embrace.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘You’re dad loves me’ He sings</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Sure he does’</em>
</p><p>
  <span class="Apple-converted-space">
    <em>He laughs and grabs her hand, dragging her down her street. She tells him about her day and the new nursing programme she's applying for at his college. He looks at her out of the corner of his eye as she avidly talks about nursing and her career opportunities, it makes him so happy that she's found something she adores. </em>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <em>After twenty minutes of walking they finally reach the hill. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>'Is this your way of telling me I need to exercise' She smirks at him </em>
</p><p>
  <em>'You said it not me' He jokes and she steps away from him faking outrage. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He grabs her hand and pulls her into his hold 'Ladies first' He steps back and gestures to the steep climb that awaits them. She snorts and pushes him forward. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He chuckles and walks forward, but instantly stops when he feels her jump onto his back, on instinct he wraps his arms around her legs and grunts, trudging up the hill with her on his back. She giggles and rests her head on his shoulder. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He can’t remember a time when he’s been happier.</em>
</p><p>—</p><p>‘You have a daughter?’</p><p>‘Yes’</p><p>‘When were you going to tell me this?’</p><p>‘I just found out, I haven’t even met her yet.’</p><p>Echo scoffs and continues pacing the apartment</p><p>‘This isn’t a bad thing’ He says turning his head to watch her.</p><p>‘This isn’t the plan Bellamy’</p><p>‘So what, if it’s not the plan’</p><p>‘It matters’</p><p>‘Why?’</p><p>‘Because I don’t want kids’ She screams ‘and I sure as hell don’t want a step child, from some ex girlfriend you mentioned briefly four years ago when we started dating.’</p><p>‘I told you about Clarke’ He sighs</p><p>‘No you didn’t’ Echo shouts at him ‘I can’t believe you would do this to me’</p><p>‘I didn’t do anything to you, Echo. I found out I had a child, I’m not going to desert her’</p><p>‘Why the hell not’ She screams and stops herself from walking, she won't look him in the eye.</p><p>That one statement led him to look at her in a new light, he’s shocked that she would come out and say something like that. He knew meeting Echo that children weren’t in her ‘plan’ as she loves to say, but he thought it would be better when it was their own child. He stands up slowly and moves towards the door.</p><p>‘We’re going to be late. Let’s talk about this later’ He opens the door and grabs his keys, turning around he watches her standing still, glaring at the floor.</p><p>‘Echo, let’s go’</p><p>She nods her head and they walk down the stairs in silence. Her words bounce around his mind, “Why the hell not”. They reach the ground floor and he opens the door for her, she walks straight past him and waits by the car door for him to unlock it.</p><p>The drive there remains deathly silent, they don’t speak to one another. He focuses on the road ahead, as he drives them to Miller and Jackson’s housewarming party. After twenty minutes of silence, he pulls up outside the apartment block and parks the car, fully prepared to enter a flat, with all of his friends, in the middle of an argument with his fiancé.</p><p>He sighs and takes his seatbelt off, moving to open the car door. She places a hand on his shoulder, halting his movement and he turns back to look at her.</p><p>‘I’m sorry… What I said, I take back. I overreacted because I wasn’t prepared for it, but having time to think about it we can do this’ She say and strokes his cheek. ‘I am so sorry for my reaction and I’m sure I’ll love Megan’</p><p>‘Madi’ He smiles correcting her</p><p>‘Madi’ She states and she leans over. ‘I love you, Bellamy Blake’</p><p>‘I love you too’ He says and ignores the part of him that clenches when he utters those three little words. He kisses her and smiles, opening the car door and jumping out.</p><p>They walk into the apartment block, hand in hand and wait for the elevator to arrive. They step in and Echo swiftly shifts the conversation on to the latest fallout at her work. He doesn’t quite get how quickly she can move on from talking about kids to bitching about her colleagues, but that’s Echo. They walk to the apartment door and he knocks, he can hear that the party is in full swing, a celebration of Miller and Jackson’s moving in together, but it’s more like any excuse for their friendship group to throw a party and get drunk.</p><p>The minute the door opens, Echo is dragged away by a swarm of people. She turns her head and pouts at him, and mouths ‘sorry babe’ but he knows she loves it, loves the attention, loves being the person people look forward to seeing. He makes his way through the crowds of people, until he reaches the kitchen where Murphy stands nursing a beer, with his arm firmly wrapped around Raven’s waist.</p><p>‘How many people did Miller invite?’ He asks ‘I feel like I’m back in college’</p><p>‘I helped Miller invite people’ Murphy states, smugly. He sips his beer and smirks at Raven, who chuckles into her boyfriend’s chest.</p><p>‘What’s so funny’ He asks, feeling very left out of the conversation</p><p>‘Oh, nothing’ The pair say in sync. They untangle themselves from their embrace and Raven dashes off into the living room.</p><p>He shrugs and picks up a bottle of beer, Murphy walks past him and quickly words rush out of the bastards mouth.</p><p>‘I may have invited Clarke’ Bellamy chokes on his drink and turns around to grab Murphy by the shoulder.</p><p>‘Ow, ow, ow. Broken shoulder, broken shoulder’</p><p>Bellamy immediately releases him, concern consumes his face.</p><p>‘Just kidding, it’s the other one.’</p><p>Bellamy makes a lunge at him but is stopped by Echo’s presence at his side. Murphy slinks off, making his escape, rejoining Raven on the sofa.</p><p>Echo starts chatting at his side, enlightening him to all the gossip he’s missed since they arrived, which was three minutes ago. He doesn’t give a shit about Luna or Roan, but he’s stuck listening to it. He takes a swig of beer and nods along to Echo’s story.</p><p>A piercing squeal interrupts the chatter, everyone looks to the door. Jasper moves through the sea of bodies pushing people out of the way and flinging his arms around Clarke. Her hair is down and slightly curled. She wears a small red top and jeans, which lots of men around are appreciating. He realises he’s staring and takes another swig of his beer. Soon, Clarke’s surrounded by their old group, Monty, Miller, Jackson, Harper and Wells. They pull her down a hallway and the door slams shut, the chatter resumes. Raven and Murphy rush through the kitchen towards the direction Clarke came from, Murphy protecting his shoulder from bumping into other people. The door slams shut and squeals of laughter pour out from behind the door.</p><p>‘She’s popular’ Echo remarks, he can see she’s slightly pissed, slightly confused and slightly jealous.</p><p>‘She’s Clarke’ He mutters, now he can see that Echo’s pissed, no longer confused and definitely jealous.</p><p>'That’s Clarke’ She almost shouts, turning to look at him.</p><p>Roan walks into the kitchen and grabs the beer out of Bellamy’s hand. ‘Who was that’ He asks, taking a swig of Bellamy’s beer. Bellamy sighs and returns to the fridge, opening it again and grabs another bottle. The only reason he tolerates this prick is because he’s a friend of Echo’s, god Roan’s going to be at the wedding.</p><p>‘Clarke’ Echo mutters</p><p>‘She’s hot’ Roan states</p><p>‘She’s Bell’s ex’</p><p>‘Only makes her hotter’ He hears Roan mutter into Echo’s ear</p><p>His grip around his bottle tightens and he gulps down more beer, the idea of Clarke and Roan dating makes him sick.</p><p>‘Is she single?’ Roan asks</p><p>‘Why do you care’ Echo snaps</p><p>Roan chuckles, his group of friends emerge from the hallway, leading Clarke towards the living area.</p><p>‘I’m going to introduce myself’ Roan says clearing his throat. ‘This has been nice, Echo. Blake’ He nods at him and winks, before walking directly up to Clarke. He watches Roan hug Clarke and he sets his beer down, grabbing Echo’s hand.</p><p>‘What are you doing?’ Echo whispers into his ear</p><p>‘We’re going to talk to Miller and Jackson’</p><p>Echo mumbles something but he doesn’t hear, he’s walking so quickly he doesn’t see a guy moving the bowl of Hawaiian punch, which ends up down Echo’s shirt. He stands there and almost bursts out laughing until he sees the look of horror on his fiancé’s face.</p><p>‘Shit’ the guy says</p><p>‘It’s fine’ She smiles ‘It’s fine. I’m just gonna’ she doesn’t finish her sentence and backs away towards the bathroom, Luna rushes over to help.</p><p>He walks over to Miller, who slaps him on the back and he seamlessly fits into the conversation. After a while people peel away and he turns to find Clarke next to him.</p><p>‘Hi’</p><p>‘Hi’</p><p>‘I was thinking that if you’re free next weekend, you could meet us at the Green’</p><p>‘Us?’ He asks tilting his head to the side</p><p>‘Yes, me and Mads’</p><p>He smiles and she continues ‘It’s going to take some time’</p><p>‘I know, Clarke. Thank you for doing this’</p><p>‘Thank you for what?’ A hand is placed upon his shoulder and he turns to look at his fiancé. Echo kisses him and tucks herself into his side. He turns back too Clarke and smiles.</p><p>‘Hi Clarke, I’m Echo, Bell’s fiancé.’ He watches Echo extend her ring hand to shake Clarke’s hand. ‘So how do you know everyone’ Echo asks, smiling</p><p>‘Easy’ He mutters into Echo’s ear and she smacks his chest.</p><p>‘Oh, I’ve known Bellamy and Wells since I was four, I met Raven, Miller, and Murphy at college. Met the rest of them along the way.’ Clarke looks back and smiles at the group</p><p>Echo laughs ‘Really? Bell didn’t mention you until yesterday’ He glares at Echo for her out right lie, but she ignores him.</p><p>‘I’ve been away for a while’ Clarke mutters</p><p>‘How long’</p><p>‘Four years’</p><p>‘That’s the amount of time, Bell and I have been together’</p><p>Shit. Clarke’s smile disappears and she stares at him. Echo continues talking, more people insert themselves into the conversation and Clarke quickly excuses herself and makes her way to the door, slipping out.</p><p>Echo latches onto Luna and Harper, which distracts her giving Bellamy his opportunity to follow Clarke out the door. He finds her holding her denim jacket, turning towards the elevator.</p><p>‘You’re leaving, again’ He jokes</p><p>She whips around and looks at him, shrugging her jacket on her shoulders.</p><p>‘I get told by Octavia that you lied to me and you didn’t even have the decency to tell me yourself.’</p><p>‘I didn’t have much opportunity to, when I try to speak to you, you disappear’ He retorts causing her to scowl at him.</p><p>‘I don’t understand you. You ended our relationship by lying to me, after screaming at me for months about the same damn thing. You pushed me away on a lie, like you couldn’t wait to get rid of me and move on to the next best thing, the minute I left.’</p><p>‘I didn’t move on the minute you left, Clarke’</p><p>‘Oh sorry, an hour after I had left.’</p><p>He shakes his head and looks away from her. ‘I didn’t move on straight away’ but his words have no weight behind them.</p><p>‘You’ve been with her for four years, Bellamy.’</p><p>‘Are you jealous?’ He asks</p><p>She scowls at him and starts laughing, ah okay his mistake she’s definitely not jealous.</p><p>‘I hated you. It hurt me to hate you. You made me feel like I was nothing, in an instant. You told me you cheated on me, Bellamy. You lied and made me hate you and I’ve held that with me for four fucking years. I thought I deserved the truth, not to be smothered by your damn lies’</p><p>‘You wanna talk about lying, you didn’t even tell me I had a child’</p><p>‘I sent you a letter, I didn’t have your number by that point and I thought the best thing to do was to write to you, but you didn’t respond’</p><p>‘Because I never got it.’</p><p>‘What so I’m supposed to believe it got lost in the mail’ She scoffs and steps further away from him, drawing further and further within herself ‘Stop with this bullshit’ She screams at him, bringing her hands up to clutch at her chest. ‘Stop with the lies’</p><p>'You lied to me for months and that never seemed like a problem for you.’ He shouts, reaching into his jacket pocket and before he can think it through, he pulls out the golden bracelet he keeps in there and dangles it in her face.</p><p>She steps back hurt flashes upon her face, he winces and instantly shoves the bracelet back in his coat pocket. He can’t believe he just did that. He looks up at her and she looks as exhausted as she did four years ago, he’s done it again, hurt her.</p><p>They can’t speak to each other anymore.</p><p>Clarke presses the button on the elevator and the doors immediately open, she steps inside.</p><p>‘I don’t think it’s a good time for you to meet Madi’ She says staring straight past him</p><p>‘Clarke’ He says stepping forward and holds the elevator doors before they close</p><p>‘I can forgive you for everything else, Bellamy, but I can’t forgive you for that’</p><p>He stands back and the elevator doors close, in front of him. He stands there for a while, gripping onto the bracelet in his pocket, after all these years he can’t throw it out. The door to Miller and Jackson’s apartment opens and Echo appears.</p><p>‘What you doing out here’ She chuckles and grabs his hand dragging him back into the party, not waiting for him to respond.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. godspeed</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi </p><p>Just want to warn this chapter will revolve around a character's death. <br/>This chapter is rough but it does have a glimmer of light at the end.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>There’s a slow tap at her door.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Honey’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She doesn’t respond, her body feels limp and her mind is foggy. Her head is resting against the toilet seat, where she’s been throwing up for the past hour.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The door slowly opens and her dad slips into the room, he grabs a tissue and wipes away vomit around her mouth, he pulls her hair out of her face into a pony tail. He sits down next to her on the bathroom floor and holds her. She starts crying and he rocks her back and forth, rubbing her back.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I can’t do this again’ She sobs</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Can’t do what?’ He whispers, kissing her forehead</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She holds up the stick in her hand and he takes it from her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Abby’ He calls and her mum instantly opens the door and steps into the bathroom, he gives her the stick and her mum’s expression falls.</em>
</p><p>—</p><p>Rocking back and forth, rocking back and forth. Her coping mechanism, something her dad used to do whenever she was sad as a kid and I guess it stuck with her. She remembers him putting her on his lap whenever she was sad, and he would ever so gently rock back and forth, rubbing her back and wiping her tears away.</p><p>Jake Griffin, the best dad she could have wished for. He ran charity events at her school helped her make as many cookies and cupcakes as possible for the summer bake sale. He picked her up, every day without fail from school until she was eleven when it was officially embarrassing to be seen out with her mum or dad. She wishes she wasn’t so stupid, but she’s thankful she quickly grew out of the phase. He picked her up from every dance recital, every piano exam, every playdate and sleepover, he was there. He waited at the door every night, to see that she had come home safely. He had held her hair back when she had drunk far too much. He met the first boy she had ever fallen in love with and scared the crap out of him, but he couldn’t hide his approval for long. He came with her to buy her first car, he helped her find an apartment. He didn’t yell at her when she told him she was pregnant. When she went into labour, he arrived at the hospital before she did. At the age of twenty-three she was terrified and scared but it was all okay once she saw her dad.</p><p>All that time he put her before himself, all that time he hid how tired and exhausted he was. He hid how oppressive his shifts at work were, he hid the fact that there was a disease eating him from the insides. He smiled off her concern and would make a joke to distract her, or would pretend to stop in the middle of the street to look at a sign or in a shop window when actually he needed to catch his breath. Three months ago, he collapsed in his office. Initially, everyone thought it was a stroke. He was taken to hospital and her dad’s diagnosis was revealed to her, stage five lung cancer.Her dad at the ripe old age of forty-eight was dying.</p><p>She was late coming to the hospital, not early like her dad always was. She couldn’t see him before he went into surgery, couldn’t tell him that she was here. She just wanted to see him, to talk to him, for him to know he wasn’t alone. She needs her dad so she rocks back and forth, to imagine him there with her. Rocks back and forth to calm her breathing, rocks back and forth to stop her hands from shaking.</p><p>She feels her phone vibrating in her pocket, to find eight missed calls from an unknown number and several voice mails left from the same number. She can only presume it to be one person. Her phone rings again and she answers it.</p><p>‘I need you’ She whispers down the phone</p><p>—</p><p>‘I need her number’</p><p>‘No, Bellamy. I think you should just leave her alone for a couple of days’</p><p>‘I haven’t spoken to her in a week, I think that’s enough time’</p><p>He paces around Octavia’s living room, pacing around the coffee table before collapsing in a chair.</p><p>‘Give me her number’ He stares her down but she matches his stare, slightly terrifying him</p><p>‘No’</p><p>‘Octavia’ He shouts</p><p>‘You can’t stop hurting each other’</p><p>'Dammit O, give me her number.’</p><p>She sighs and throws her phone at him. He unlocks her phone and starts copying down Clarke’s number, after all these years she hasn’t changed it. He lobs the phone back at Octavia.</p><p>‘That was fast’ She states, cocking her eyebrow up at him.</p><p>‘Oh, I still remember the number’ He mutters, looking down to avoid Octavia’s gaze and types in the rest of the digits before dialling. He’s on the phone repeatedly, calling Clarke’s number, leaving voicemail after voicemail before he gives up.</p><p>‘She won’t answer’ He sighs</p><p>After a minute his sister responds ‘I’ll try her’</p><p>—</p><p>She feel’s sorry for her brother, she’s extremely annoyed at him and Clarke. But Bellamy has a little girl, who he hasn’t even gotten to meet. He only caught a glimpse of her down that hallway, she couldn’t imagine being kept away from Alex. So she calls Clarke and after one ring, Clarke picks up. She’s about to give her a mouthful when Clarke speaks and her voice shakes down the line.</p><p>‘I need you’ Clarke whispers ‘I need you to come.’</p><p>‘Where, where do you need me to come?’</p><p>‘The hospital’ She hears her old friend burst into tears ‘I need you, O.’</p><p>‘I’m coming don’t worry’ She’s on her feet moving towards the front door ‘I’m coming Clarke’ she says and hangs up the phone.</p><p>She shoves her phone in her pocket, she’s a frantic mess shoving her shoes on and grabbing her coat before throwing her bag over her shoulder. She turns towards the door and finds her brother, staring at her, eyes filled with concern and worry.</p><p>‘What’s happened to Clarke’</p><p>‘I don’t know, Bell, she’s at the hospital and — ‘</p><p>Before she can finish her sentence, Bellamy turns to the door, wrenching it open, grabbing her car keys and running towards her car. She runs after him and tries to grab his arm to stop him. But he easily avoids her grasp and opens the driver door putting the keys in the ignition. She runs to the passenger side before he can leave without her and sits in the car. He pulls out onto the main road, like a maniac, and drives towards Arcadia Hospital, both of them sitting in complete silence. She glances over to see his knuckles white from clenching the steering wheel, his whole body is tense. She hasn’t seen him like this, well she hasn’t seen him like this since the moment five years ago when Clarke and Bellamy’s relationship started to deteriorate.</p><p>—</p><p>
  <em>Five years ago</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Peace and quiet, that’s how he would describe his plans for the day. He sent Clarke out on an errand, for her to pull her weight and actually buy the groceries for once. While he waits for her, he’s watching The Walking Dead, he tried to get Clarke into it but she prefers crap like How I Met Your Mother or Jane the Virgin. Although he has watched a few episodes and it doesn’t seem as bad as his initial judgement but he won’t budge until she gives in first and watches his show.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He’s nursing a beer on the sofa, accidentally spilling some on his shirt, which he bought for her at that ACDC concerts a few months back. She spilt beer down her top and he quickly bought this top for her to wear for the rest of the night. The front door slams shut and in bustles his sister, god he wanted peace.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Hey Bell’ She says jumping onto the sofa and kicking her boots up onto the coffee table, which are caked in dried mud. God, he wanted peace. He moves his foot and kicks her feet off the table.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Shoes off’ He mutters</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Sorry’ She giggles and takes her boots off. It’s silent for a couple of minutes and then she grabs his bottle and takes a sip of his beer. God, he wanted peace.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘What are you watching’ She asks in that sing song annoying voice that as a younger sibling she has perfected over the years.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He glares at her and raises a finger to his mouth shushing her. Then his phone starts ringing, Octavia chuckles and he rolls his eyes and answers the phone.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Hello, Bellamy Blake speaking.’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Hi, Mr Blake. This is Arcadia Hospital speaking, you are stated as Ms Griffin’s emergency contact’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He bolts upright ‘Yes, yes I am, she’s my girlfriend’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I’m sorry to say that, Ms Griffin has been involved in an accident and is currently in emergency surgery we need you to come —</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I’m on my way’ He says, worry and shock has gripped his voice he can hear it. He hangs up the phone and rushes to the door</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Bell, what’s happened?’ Octavia says, her voice rising with panic.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He’s searching through draws to find his goddamn car keys, he’s in a state of complete panic. ‘Clarke, Clarke’s been in an accident. I need to go’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He continues searching for his keys, hands shaking and he feels faint. A hand lands upon his shoulder and Octavia holds out his keys. He pulls her into a hug, they throw on their shoes and coats, rushing out of the apartment and flying down the stair case.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He doesn’t remember getting in the car, he doesn’t remember driving. He remembers his deathly grip upon the steering wheel and his knuckles turning white out of terror.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Damn it Clarke’ He whispers under his breath, ‘Please, god be okay’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>—</em>
</p><p>He gets out of the car, Octavia gets out her side, and he’s hit with the realisation that he’s done this before. The sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach deepens and his heart burns. He shoves his hands into his coat pocket and feels for the bracelet.</p><p>‘Bellamy’ His sister shouts at him but he keeps walking ‘Bellamy… Bellamy. Stop.’ She yells</p><p>He turns to look at her and she catches up to him</p><p>‘It’s different this time, you can’t march in there and be there for her. I know you want to, but that’s not your job anymore. You do that for Echo and right now, Echo has no idea where you are, and I doubt she’d be happy that you’re here for your ex girlfriend’</p><p>‘Don’t tell me what Echo would want.’ He snarls but steps back wincing at his outburst. ‘Don’t tell me what she would want’ He mutters, sitting down on the bench.</p><p>‘I’m scared, Octavia. I’m really scared’. His sister doesn’t say anything, she sits down next to him and holds his hand. ‘I’m afraid that I’ll be sucked back in’</p><p>‘Would that be such a bad thing?’ She asks</p><p>‘Yes’ He whispers ‘I was finally at the point where I was past all of this. Now…’ He stops and sighs</p><p>‘Now what?’ She asks but he ignores her and pulls the bracelet out of his coat pocket and fiddles with it.</p><p>‘What’s that’ Octavia asks pointing at the bracelet.</p><p>‘A stress toy’ He jokes diverting away from the truth, he clears his throat and scratches the back of his neck ‘You should go… go and find her’ He smiles up at her and continues fiddling with the bracelet.</p><p>‘Okay’ She smiles and kisses his forehead ‘Okay’ Octavia slowly rises from the bench, it seems like she wants to say something but she turns and walks away. He watches her until she disappears.</p><p>He sits there, frozen looking down at the bracelet.</p><p>—</p><p>
  <em>‘Leave me alone Bellamy’ She shouts, tugging away from his grasp. ‘Leave me the hell alone’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘No’ He yells and proceeds to pick her up and throws her over his shoulder, he feels her squirming and thrashing out, until she gives up. He marches out to the car and puts her in the passenger seat, then makes his way to the drivers side.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>They drive in silence, until they reach Clarke’s house, he turns the engine off and they take off their seatbelts, he stares straight ahead.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘You want to tell me what that was about?’ She asks</em>
</p><p>
  <em>’It doesn’t matter’ He mutters</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘For god sakes, you punched Finn. That’s not nothing’ She stops and looks down at her lap ‘I want to know why’ She whispers</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I don’t like him’ He states and she scoffs</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I can see that’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I don’t like him, because he has you’ He turns and looks at her dead in the eye. ‘He has you and I don’t’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He watches Clarke, her mouth falls slightly open and one of her strands of hair falls over her cheek. She quickly moves her hand to tuck the strand behind her ear and a blush rises upon her cheeks.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘He doesn’t have me’ She whispers</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She turns to looks at him, her hand stretches out and reaches his cheek, falling to his chest. His hand rises to hold her hand.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘You do’ She smiles</em>
</p><p>
  <em>His hands move to her waist and he picks her up with the intent for her to straddle his waist. He does forget that they’re in his truck, her head hits the roof and her knee digs into his groin but she quickly moves and finds her position. She giggles and leans her head against his chest, his hand moves to her jaw and lifts her head, her blue eyes stare into his and he closes the distance, <strong>finally</strong> kissing Clarke Griffin.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>—</em>
</p><p>Octavia arrived an hour ago, she told her everything and they’ve been waiting for her dad to hopefully come out of surgery.</p><p>‘Where’s Abby?’ Octavia asks</p><p>‘She had a trip to Boston.. I told him she should stay.. She’s flying back but she.. she doesn’t know. We can’t reach her.’</p><p>‘Oh Clarke’ Octavia brings her into a hug.</p><p>She slowly gets up and walks over to the clock which reads 3pm, she has to pick up Madi soon. Octavia seems to have read her mind and tells her that she’s texted Lincoln and Raven and that they will take Madi and Alex to the park after school finishes, to give Clarke a bit more time.</p><p>She collapses back onto the plastic hospital chair and they wait. She spots Dr Nyko and Jackson emerge from surgery. They takes his scrub cap off and walk over, heads bowed and eyes solemn. She grips Octavia’s hand and listens to Dr Nyko.</p><p>‘I’m sorry, Clarke. The tumour had spread significantly since the last time we operated on your father. The tumour had caused fluid to build up, causing your father’s lungs to collapse. Under all the surgeries Jake has been through the past few months. He didn’t survive.’ Nyko clears his throat and continues but she’s not listening anymore.</p><p>She gets up and walks, she doesn’t know quite where, but she walks away. She finds herself outside the hospital, panting for breath, her hands are shaking violently and she sags down against the hospital wall, in complete shock. She buries her head in her hands, shielding herself from the cold autumn air. She senses someone sitting down next to her on the cold ground, she peers up and a small tear falls down her face, which is immediately wiped away.</p><p>An arm wraps around her shoulder bringing her head to rest upon their shoulder, she can hear their heart beating and she closes her eyes. They stay like that for a while, the autumn breeze washes over them and she watches the cars and families roll in and out of the hospital. A little kid runs up to her father who picks her up and throws her up into the sky, the little girl giggles and squeals. The father holds his little girl and the scene brings a sad smile to her face.</p><p>‘Bell’ She says looking up at him ‘I.. I take back what I said the other night.’ She stops and sighs ‘I don’t want to keep Madi from her father. I don’t want you to miss out anymore’ </p><p>He smiles and nods and looks at the family walking towards the car. He pulls out his wallet, displaying the photo of Madi she gave him. 'I never thanked you, for this’</p><p>‘You didn’t need to’ She smiles</p><p>‘Clarke, I should apolo—’</p><p>‘No. No. We don’t need to talk about it anymore. It’s in the past. Let’s move on from it all.’</p><p>‘Okay’</p><p>He holds her tighter and they continue to sit outside the hospital, watching the family pack themselves into the car. The man kisses his daughter on the forehead and buckles her into the car, the car doors close and the family drives off.</p><p>‘I didn’t even get to say goodbye’ She whispers ‘I wasn’t there for him and now he’s gone.’</p><p>‘He knew you were there’</p><p>She groans and buries her head in her hands.</p><p>‘Tell me something about him’ He says nudging her shoulder</p><p>So she does, she speaks until she has nothing left to say and some part of her feels lighter and closer to her dad.</p><p>‘You want to go back in there’ He says and she nods. They both stand up from the ground, her attention is pulled to the parking lot to see Raven’s car screech to a halt in front of them.</p><p>Raven jumps out of the car and runs towards Clarke, throwing her arms around her. ‘I’m sorry’ she whispers into her ear. Clarke tightens her grip around her best friend.</p><p>‘Madi’s in the back, I thought you might like to be with her’ Raven releases Clarke and she turns to watch Lincoln emerge from the back of Raven’s car, holding Alex.</p><p>Clarke opens the door and finds her baby sleeping soundly in her car seat. She unbuckles Madi’s seatbelt and picks her sleeping baby out of the car. She hugs Madi to her chest and feels Madi’s small legs curl around her waist.</p><p>‘Thank you’ She mouths to Raven, who nods and smiles.</p><p>‘Hey Mads’ She whispers into Madi’s ear and softly strokes her daughters’ cheek.</p><p>Madi’s eyes slowly open, and her tiny hands reach out to hold herself closer to Clarke.</p><p>‘Mads there’s someone I want you to meet’ She whispers into her daughter’s ear</p><p>Madi looks around and stares at all the people she already knows, Lincoln, Alex, Raven until her eyes land on Bellamy. She immediately reaches out her hands towards Bellamy, who swoops in and lifts her out of Clarke’s arms.</p><p>‘Hi Madi, I’m Bellamy’</p><p>Madi starts playing with Bellamy’s sweater. She watches Bellamy bounce his daughter in his arms and little squeals and giggles emerge from Madi.</p><p>Raven wraps her arms around Clarke’s shoulders and they all slowly file back into the hospital. She finds Octavia where she left her, sitting nervously in reception with a clipboard of paperwork that Clarke needs to answer. Octavia’s eyes brighten when she sees them and Alex squirms in his father’s hold when he sees his mother. Lincoln sets Alex down on the floor and Alex runs off to crawl onto his mums lap.</p><p>‘I’m going to get some coffee’ Raven says and walks off down to the cafeteria.</p><p>She sits down exhausted and takes the clipboard from Octavia. Bellamy sits down next to her, holding their daughter whose fallen fast asleep. He rocks Madi slowly back and forth on his lap.</p><p>‘She’s perfect’ He whispers looking down at their daughter</p><p>They sit in silence, and Bellamy reaches out and holds her hand. ‘I bet Jake loved her’</p><p>She nods her head and small tears gather in her eyes, her phone starts ringing and its her mother. She slowly stands up and makes her way over to the nurses office for some privacy. She sits on the desk chair, in the dark room. She answers the phone and breathes out, she can’t believe she has to have this conversation over the phone.</p><p>‘Hi Mum’ A tear slowly falls down her cheek.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. The One That Got Away</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hiya! </p><p>Thank you so much for the comments I've been getting, honestly they make my day. Tbh I wasn't going to publish this work, was initially just writing this because I was so bored with lockdown and then I wrote this chapter and I just couldn't stop writing. </p><p>I can't express my excitement for you guys to eventually get the clear picture, we've got a while to go before we get there !!</p><p>Anyway, here's Chapter 6 probably one of my favourites!</p><p>Enjoy 💛💛</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>- One year later - </strong>
</p><p>This past month has been frantic, she needed some quiet, just a break from everything. When Madi’s yellow dress had gotten some juice on it, she took that as her opportunity to escape the madness, the yelling and the noise. She picks Madi up, holding her on her hip and runs to the bathroom, placing Madi on the bathroom counter she runs the tap and blots at the stains. The stain disappears, only leaving a faint outline so she holds Madi underneath the dryer allowing the dress to dry.</p><p>Madi finds it awfully funny and squeals in delight as the dryer blows on her dress. Once dry she places Madi back on the counter.</p><p>Madi starts fiddling with her cardigan and scratching at her hair.</p><p>‘Sweetheart, no scratching. It took your dad half an hour to plait your hair’</p><p>She looks at her reflection in the mirror and sighs. Her up-do hairstyle is already falling apart, she clips the pieces of hair back in and lets two pieces fall down in front of her face. Her dress makes her feel like a princess, very different to the scrubs she wears daily.</p><p>‘You look really pretty, mummy’ Madi says and Clarke smiles down at her daughter.</p><p>‘Thank you sweetheart’</p><p>The door opens and Octavia sticks her head through the door.</p><p>‘It’s starting’ Octavia says before ducking back out the door.</p><p>She sighs and picks her daughter up, rushing towards the main hall. She opens the large oak door and they silently slip in. She sets Madi down and hands her the flower basket. She watches her daughter walk down the aisle, sprinkling flowers with the cutest grin upon her face, the guest coo and gasp at her. She’s the perfect flower girl. Madi reaches the end of the aisle where Bellamy stands, smiling proudly at his daughter, Madi scurries off standing next to Octavia and Raven.</p><p>Bellamy’s dressed in his black suit, they lock eyes and she smiles at him, giving him a small thumbs up.</p><p>‘The bride is ready’ she hears the wedding planner repeat down his head seat. God Octavia really did push the boat out. The wedding planner yanks opens the oak doors and disappears, she shakes her head and turns to see Murphy walking up to her.</p><p>‘Well don’t you look handsome’ She smirks</p><p>‘You don’t look too bad yourself’ He retorts and kisses her cheek.</p><p>‘Let’s go, princess’ He whispers into her ear and she takes Murphy’s arm, they start to slowly walk down the aisle together. Clarke catches Bellamy eye, they reach the end of the aisle and Murphy pulls her into a hug, before walking to stand behind Bellamy as his best man. She walks up to her daughter and turns to face the groomsmen. She breathes out shakily and Octavia grips her hand, reassuring her. She turns to face O and smiles at her, she looks at Raven who gives her a wink. Madi stands in front of her and she places her hands on her daughters tiny shoulders. She looks at Bellamy and smiles.</p><p>‘You ready’ She mouths at him</p><p>He nods his head and breathes out, shakily</p><p>‘Relax’ She mouths</p><p>He chuckles silently, they lock eyes. The large oak doors reopen.</p><p>—</p><p>
  <em>
    <span class="Apple-converted-space">They've just moved into their new apartment and he was hoping to hide his gift for her, tickets to a summer concert next year, but she came home earlier than he expected and pounced on him the minute she saw him move to hide something behind his back. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Clarke! stop, stop!’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He can’t stop laughing, his girlfriend is currently attached to his back, trying to grab at the present he’s holding in his arm which is above her reach. She struggles against him, he throws her off him onto the coach and she sits there like a petulant child.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He doubles over laughing and she takes the opportunity to grab for the present that’s unfortunately within her reach. She squeals in delight when it’s in her hands, she sprints down the apartment’s hallway towards their bedroom and he chases her down. He jumps and pins her down on the bed, the present falling out of her grasp. He picks up the present and places it back into his draw, locking it shut and turns too dangle the key in front of her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Why won’t you let me see what you got me’ She pouts</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘It’s a surprise’ He states, kneeling on top of her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She leans up and strokes his jaw, kissing his lips. She rolls them over and straddles his lap ‘Hmmm, this reminds me of something’ She whispers against his lips and he laughs.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Really, I don’t recall maybe you should remind me’ He smirks and tickles her sides causing Clarke to yelp.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She falls next to him and turns to rest her cheek on his chest.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I love our apartment’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He mumbles in agreement and yawns scratching at his shoulder.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Clarke sits up, sighing and tucks her hair behind her ear, she quickly walks into the bathroom.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Hey Clarke’ He says, shifting his head to look at her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Yeah’ She responds, looking very deflated.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I love you too’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She instantly emerges from the bathroom, her eyes shine and the cheesiest smile blooms on her face. ‘You do’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Yep’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She lunges at him and straddles his waist, accidentally kneeing him in the groin.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘That I remember’ He groans</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Shut up, you love me’ She laughs leaning in to kiss him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>—</em>
</p><p>Everyone in the room turns their head to the opening of the oak doors. Bellamy looks away from Clarke and looks down the aisle to see his bride, Echo. She looks beautiful in her gorgeous white gown, her lace train runs behind her, her hair is perfectly curled and falls down over her shoulders. She looks like she’s been plucked out of a wedding catalogue. Roan stands tall beside her, walking her down the aisle. When they reach the end of the aisle, Roan kisses her cheek and pulls Echo into a hug. He pulls away, but Clarke watches him whisper into Echo’s ear. Echo’s face falls slightly, but she covers it up and turns towards Bellamy. She smiles and walks up the few steps to hold his hand and stands in front of him.</p><p>Echo turns behind her and passes Clarke her bouquet and then turns back to her future husband. Clarke smiles down at her daughter, who clings to her leg. </p><p>‘Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony. I believe you both have prepared your own vows’ The priest declares, turning to Bellamy first.</p><p>‘Echo, when I first met you, five years ago outside of M&amp;G’s bar’</p><p>Jasper whistles and cheers from his seat and both Monty and Harper shush him to be quiet. Bellamy smirks and continues.</p><p>‘I was in no place to be ready to be happy. Feeling rather sorry for myself’ He looks up and briefly catches Clarke’s eye but hastily looks down at his cards. ‘But you stood outside that bar and made me laugh, you were understanding, kind and most importantly gave me friendship, friendship that enabled this to grow. Whilst the past year has brought a shock to our relationship, I have only.’ He stops and looks up from his cards, to look at Echo but his eyes move and catch Clarke’s gaze. ‘I have only loved you more.’ He puts his cards back in his jacket pocket and smiles at the priest.</p><p>Madi twists in her hands and smiles looking down at her daughter, giving her a wink.</p><p>‘Echo’ The priest gestures for her to start.</p><p>Luna steps forward and hands Echo her cards, she begins to read. ‘I met you…’ She sighs ‘I met you.’ Echo stops and looks over Bellamy’s shoulder. Clarke follows her gaze to find Roan staring back at Echo. Echo shakes her head and turns back to Bellamy.</p><p>‘I met you five years ago and I never even comprehended that we would get here.’ She jokes</p><p>Laughter breaks out in the room.</p><p>‘I never thought we would get here’ Echo whispers under her breath, which is covered by the laughter and jeers of the room, but Clarke hears it and her breath gets caught in her throat. The room simmers down and Echo drops her cards and looks at Bellamy.</p><p>‘When I wrote my vows I was certain that this’ Echo motions between them ‘was right and I’m not so sure anymore’. Echo steps forward to Bellamy, she places her hands upon his jaw and brings him into a delicate kiss. It’s so intimate Clarke looks away, a part of her she’s suppressed for five years, makes her feel like she’s drowning.</p><p>‘I loved you, Bellamy Blake and you loved me once too.’ She strokes his cheek, her hands fall to his jacket and straighten his tie, she moves to speak but Bellamy interjects.</p><p>‘I love you’ He says and grips onto Echo’s shoulders.</p><p>‘You don’t’ Echo whispers and removes herself from his grasps. ‘I don’t think you ever, truly did.’ She smiles sadly at him and turns around to look at Clarke, Echo bends down and picks up her heels. ‘I’m so sorry, Bell’ She says and kisses his cheek. ‘I’m sorry for everything’</p><p>Echo quickly walks down the steps.</p><p>‘Echo’ Bellamy bellows, Clarke’s heart breaks for him. ‘ECHO!’ He yells and Clarke watches Echo stop in the centre of the aisle, but she keeps walking towards the large oak doors and disappears behind them. Roan and Luna follow her down the aisle, gasps fill the room, mutterings and chatter break out among the guests.</p><p>‘Is that supposed to happen?’ Madi asks</p><p>‘No, sweetheart. That’s not supposed to happen’ Clarke responds</p><p>She turns to see Octavia and Raven, who stand with similar expressions of horror and sadness looking at Bellamy who stands frozen.</p><p>Bellamy steps forward with a microphone, feedback pierces through the room, silencing the chatter. ‘Thank you all for coming, but the wedding’s off.’</p><p>He turns back around and finds the wedding planner looking dazed before him.</p><p>‘What never had a wedding fail before’ The wedding planner nods and Bellamy throws the mic at the poor guy who catches it and staggers down the side stairs, tearing his headset off.</p><p>Bellamy storms passed Murphy, Lincoln and Miller, pushing the emergency exit doors wide open and he disappears out towards the gardens.</p><p>‘Is Daddy okay?’ Madi asks</p><p>‘No, sweetheart. Daddy’s not okay’</p><p>‘Should we follow him’ Madi asks</p><p>Octavia cuts in before she can answer ‘Your mum is going to, but how about you come with me to find Lincoln and Alex’ Octavia smiles holding out her hand, which Madi quickly takes.</p><p>Clarke rushes after him, she wanders through the gardens before she stumbles upon him staring despondently at the fountain before him. She walks closer and is about to take another step when he speaks with his back turned to her.</p><p>‘Leave me alone, Clarke’</p><p>‘Bell’</p><p>‘Haven’t you already done enough.’ He turns to look at her, his eyes tired, sad and angry.</p><p>‘What do I have to do with any of this’ She asks and he slowly walks over to a bench and sits down staring at the ground.</p><p>‘Why are you here, Clarke’ He croaks out</p><p>‘I wanted to check on you, god Bell —</p><p>‘No, why are you here at my wedding… What was my wedding’</p><p>‘You’re my daughter’s dad, I couldn’t not come’</p><p>‘Doesn’t this hurt you’ He snaps at her</p><p>She scoffs ‘Did you want it to hurt me’</p><p>‘Yes’ He responds instantly and she steps back. ‘I wanted this to hurt.. I wanted this to hurt you. I still can't get past it’</p><p>‘Six years later and we still can’t move on. Why can’t we just move on?’ She pleads</p><p>‘Because I never got closure’ He shouts</p><p>‘And you think I did?’ She snaps</p><p>He refuses to look at her, instead stares back at the water pouring out of the fountain.</p><p>‘Every time you bring this up, you hurt me’ Her hands wrap around her waist.</p><p>‘Whenever I look at you, it hurts Clarke’</p><p>‘We have to move on. We have to for Madi’ She states</p><p>His body deflates and his head hangs as he stares at the ground </p><p>He stands up and walks past her, stopping just by her side. He moves to speak to say something, his hand rests by her side she looks down and watches his fingers stretching out towards hers. 'I'm here for Madi' He croaks out, his voice is gruff, raw and filled with pain. </p><p>'And me?' She asks eyes boring into his and her fingers reach out to touch his. Her pinky wraps around his large finger, but he winces at her touch so she pulls away. He steps back and coughs clearing his throat. </p><p>'I can't be part of your life, any more than I need to. It hurts too much' He walks off leaving her in the garden, she turns to watch him walk away as he brushes past Murphy and Miller who stagger over to her. </p><p>She watches as he becomes smaller in the distance until he’s driving away.</p><p>She sits down on the garden bench and grips onto the seat and sense her breathing become ragged and uncontrolled, as panic consumes her.</p><p>Miller storms up to her, he always was Bellamy’s friend first, hers second. She always respected that about him, Miller’s fierce loyalty but in this moment she doesn’t need the second degree.</p><p>‘You shouldn’t have come here’ He states, glaring down at her. </p><p>Murphy grabs his shoulder to drag him away but Miller evades his grip and shoves his friend away.</p><p>‘You always do this to him, Clarke. You hurt him, you lie and chip away at him.’ He jabs his finger at her, and shouts spitting venom in her face.</p><p>‘Miller’ Murphy shouts at him, but it only fuels Miller’s anger.</p><p>‘You are the reason Echo and Bellamy’s relationship fell apart. You can’t let him be happy.’</p><p>Deafening silence circulates around them, she stands up looking straight into Miller’s eye which are filled with burning rage.</p><p>‘I am not the reason for any of this’ She retorts, fury building within her voice.</p><p>‘You are always the reason, Clarke’ Murphy interrupts her this time ‘and we are always left to fix the mess you leave behind.’</p><p>She expected this from Miller but not Murphy, he was always her friend first, Bellamy’s second.</p><p>‘You think coming here was easy for me? You think I liked being included in this circus of a wedding, being updated on every tiny change to the place settings, colour schemes, flower displays. Then to have Echo ask me to be one of her fucking bridesmaids, dragging me along to every cake tasting and dress try on.’ She cries out, but she’s no where near done.</p><p>‘I had to sit at that rehearsal dinner, smiling away happily and gushing about the wonderful couple. The minute my back was turned I heard the snarky laughter and gossip about Bellamy’s pathetic ex, people speculating how sad and desperate I must be, pining from afar as he marries the love of his life. I am sick and tired of people telling me what I think or how I feel, you have no right to sit there and yell at me. You have no idea the pain I felt having to stand up there. I loved Bellamy, I loved him for a very long time. I lov….’ She cuts herself off before she says too much.</p><p>She stands up and walks over them.</p><p>‘You have no idea, you both have no idea’ Her chest heaves due to the months of emotional frustration she had vented in a minute.</p><p>Murphy extends his arm to reach for her hand, but she evades his grasp and rushes out of the garden towards the hall, to find her daughter and go home.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Love is Strange</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter 6 was a lot so I thought I'd take the foot off the pedal, just slightly. </p><p>Cute Murven moments ahead</p><p>Love hearing your thoughts and I will see you Sunday for the next chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>‘Fuck! Fuck!’ He pulls his car off the road, putting it into park and clambers out, gasping for breathe as he loosens his tie.</p><p>He sags against the door of his car, sitting in the dust and he cries. His hands claw at the dirt and he screams out, pounding his hands onto the ground below him.</p><p>His hands flop at his side and he watches the road before him, with the occasional car driving past. In a weird way it’s soothing, calms him down a bit.</p><p>His heart pounds in his chest, the throbbing noise echoes throughout his body. He feels wrecked, embarrassed and ashamed.</p><p>He keeps thinking about their conversation, how he spoke to her, how he keeps speaking to her with such malice and bitterness. Every time he’s with her he want’s to bring it up and talk, but somehow it translates to him being a complete and utter arsehole. </p><p>He starts laughing because he's been left at the alter and he’s thinking about Clarke.</p><p>‘Fuck’ He whispers and gets up off the dirt floor, collapsing into his car. He rests his head on the steering wheel and bangs it slightly, then puts the key back in ignition and drives home, wherever that may be.</p><p>—</p><p>After Echo’s runaway bride moment, Bellamy had disappeared into the gardens Clarke had followed him. Raven had shuffled the guests towards the exits, they had filed out and walked to their cars. She had returned to the hall, walking down the aisle for the second time that morning. She walked to the top of the steps, staring down at the scattered chairs below. She slowly lowers herself to the edge of the raised platform where Bellamy and Echo stood only ten minutes ago. Her legs hang off the edge, she gets lost in her thoughts until the side exit is wrenched open revealing Clarke. She looks pissed and Raven knows from experience not to get into it with Clarke when she’s pissed, especially if the subject matter is Bellamy Blake.</p><p>‘Where’s Madi’ Clarke demands, walking past her to collect her clutch and Madi’s backpack.</p><p>‘With Octavia’</p><p>Clarke lifts her arms and scowls ‘How am I supposed to know where O is?’</p><p>‘She’s around here somewhere’</p><p>‘I’ll find her myself’ Clarke snaps at her ‘Thanks for the help, Raven’</p><p>‘Clarke, what’s happened’ She asks, worried by how Clarke’s acting</p><p>Raven watches Clarke laugh, a way for her to cover the pain she holds in her eyes ‘No-one, is ever on my side, not you, not O, not Miller, not even Murphy. I have no one, only Madi.’</p><p>‘You have me’ Raven states, but Clarke continues to shake her head.</p><p>She looks so sad, so tired. She watches a tear fall down Clarke’s face and she immediately wipes it away, turning her back on Raven.</p><p>Raven moves to jump off the step and reach her best friend but Octavia and Lincoln rush in, with Madi and Alex following behind them. Clarke looks up and sees her daughter and rushes over to Madi picking her up and holds her close.</p><p>The side exit opens, they can hear Miller and Murphy arguing outside. Clarke immediately looks panicked at the sound of their voices and rushes down the aisle holding Madi and their bags, disappearing behind the oak doors.</p><p>Miller walks over to Octavia, Lincoln and Alex and the four of them begin to walk back down the aisle.</p><p>‘Miller!’ Murphy shouts but Miller keeps walking toward the exit. ‘Miller’</p><p>Miller turns around and looks at Murphy with a furious glare. </p><p>‘Leave him alone for a couple of days’ Murphy asks and Miller turns back around walking straight for the door, followed by Octavia, Lincoln and their tired son.</p><p>Murphy slumps next to her on the step.</p><p>‘What did you say to Clarke’</p><p>Murphy doesn’t say anything and looks at his lap. She rests her head upon his shoulder and he wraps his arm around her waist, pulling her closer.</p><p>‘It’s hard to take sides when you don’t know the full picture’ She mutters</p><p>‘Do you know what happened to them?’ He asks her</p><p>‘No, she hasn’t said anything’</p><p>‘Neither has he’</p><p>‘I’m just saying, don’t be so hard on her when you don’t know everything’</p><p>‘He’s my best friend’</p><p>She hums again 'But so is Clarke. You don’t like to admit how much she means to you, to avoid the fact that when she left it hurt you too.’</p><p>They sit in silence for a few minutes, he holds her, stroking her back.</p><p>‘I shouldn’t have spoken to her like that’ He starts ‘She didn’t need that.. She needed protection, someone on her side and instead I piled on, because I remembered the state he fell into… how sad he was.’</p><p>‘He’s better now though’ Raven nudges and he grunts in response because they both know that’s a lie.</p><p>She looks up at Murphy who stares out at the hall in front of them.</p><p>‘Makes you think, doesn’t it’ He remarks, nudging her shoulder, this is his annoying habit changing the subject the minute he becomes uncomfortable.</p><p>‘Think what?’ She responds to humour him.</p><p>‘About the future’</p><p>She hums and smiles as his thumb delicately strokes her waist.</p><p>‘You see yourself getting married?’ She smiles up at him</p><p>‘Yep’ He smiles and looks down at her, planting a light, delicate kiss to the corner of her lips. ‘I do’</p><p>‘We should go’ She says hopping off the platform to grab her bag and coat. She turns her back to him whilst she rifles through her bag to find anything, to look preoccupied so he’ll leave that subject alone.</p><p>‘Raven’ He asks her, and she keeps her back to him.</p><p>‘Raven!’</p><p>She looks back at him smiling sweetly ‘I’m going to see if I can catch O, before she leaves. I need to speak to her.’</p><p>Before Murphy can respond she grabs her bag and bolts down the aisle, to find O packing up the boot, she opens the back seat and finds Miller and Alex sitting in the back. Miller gives her a look and she glares at him.</p><p>‘Move’ she snaps</p><p>‘I’m not sitting in the middle’ He states and she reaches over and pinches Miller’s arm.</p><p>‘Ow, ow, ow’ Alex sitting in his car seat starts giggling. Miller unbuckles his seatbelt and scooches over to the middle. She starts to get into the car, when a muscular arm grips around her waist, pulling her back and starts spinning her around. She’s confused, tired and starting to get dizzy. The man puts her on the ground, she whips around to see him but his head is covered in a motorcycle helmet. She turns to look at the car, to see a similar expression of confusion plastered on Miller, Lincoln, O and even Alex’s faces.</p><p>She turns back to see the man before her, his helmet removed.</p><p>‘Hi Raven’ He says, holding his helmet in his hand.</p><p>‘Wick’ She exclaims.</p><p>The next thing she knows. Murphy walks down the steps, towards the car and catches sight of her gawking at the man before her. Murphy quickens his step and makes his way over to her. He wraps his arm around her, kissing her cheek. Really laying it on thick, she thinks to herself.</p><p>She laughs awkwardly and pats Murphy’s back.</p><p>‘Whose this?’ Murphy asks, after the conversations they just had she doesn’t really want to tell him.</p><p>Wick steps forward ‘I’m Wick, Raven’s ex fiancé’ Wick smiles at Murphy and holds out his hand.</p><p>Murphy’s arm that was on her waist drops, he steps away from her every so slightly and holds out his arm to shake the man’s hand.</p><p>‘Nice to meet you. I’m Raven’s boyfriend’</p><p>Wick laughs and Raven wants to die, she sense O by her side and grips her friends hand.</p><p>‘What’s so funny’ Murphy asks</p><p>‘Raven never has boyfriends, she has two year flings and then like clockwork comes back to me’ Wick jokes, Murphy looks at her but she ignores his gaze, rolling her eyes and glares at Wick.</p><p>‘Why are you here, Wick’ She asks trying to move the conversation on.</p><p>‘I came for the wedding, am I late?’</p><p>‘The wedding’s over’ Miller barks from the car</p><p>‘Ah.’ Wick sets down his helmet on the bike and pulls her into another hug, he whispers into her ear so only she can hear ‘you look good Rae’ He strokes her jaw and kisses her cheek. She stands back instantly, repulsed and disgusted by Wick’s behaviour.</p><p>Murphy’s furious, his fist clench in rage. She’s never seen him like this before. She stands next to him and places herself in Murphy’s embrace, trying to reassure him.</p><p>‘Calm down, lover boy’ Wick laughs and slaps Murphy’s shoulder. ‘There’s nothing to worry about’ He winks at her and swiftly turns his back, walking over to his bike.</p><p>Wick puts his helmet back on and climbs onto his motorbike. He rev’s the engine, and salutes at the group before driving on out, along the gravel pathway.</p><p>‘He seems nice’ Octavia mutters next to her and Murphy scoffs walking off towards their car. She hears the door slam and she instinctively winces. Octavia squeezes her hand and gives her a knowing nod to follow her boyfriend. Octavia gives her a quick hug and then walks to the passenger side hopping in the car.</p><p>Miller slides the back door shut, giving her an annoying frustrating smug smirk. The car pulls away with Alex twisting his body to wave goodbye to her and eventually the car pulls out onto the main road, following the direction of Wick.</p><p>She looks over to the car to find her boyfriend at the wheel of the car, staring sadly past her. She sighs and walks over to him, she opens the car door and slumps into the passenger seat.</p><p>‘John, you have to know I love you’ She says turning towards Murphy, placing her hand upon his cheek.</p><p>He doesn't respond and his hands tighten their grip on the steering wheel. </p><p>‘Wick's an arse, he always turns up in my life whenever I’m happy and ruins everything. Murph he won’t ruin us if you just ignore him.’</p><p>She cups his cheek and he turns his head to look at her. She leans in and kisses him, trying to convey all her love through this kiss but he pulls away, slightly.</p><p>‘I’m not worried about Wick. I’m worried because when I mention our future together, because that’s all I want with you, you freak out and run, then I meet your ex fiancé, who you never told me about.’</p><p>She looks down at her lap, where her hands shake slightly.</p><p>‘I thought I never wanted marriage, after Wick I swore it off. When you brought it up I got scared, but...</p><p>'But?' He presses </p><p>'I'm not scared, if it's with you'. She continues and smiles up at her boyfriend.</p><p>He leans over and kisses her deeply. He pulls away and grins, resting his forehead against hers.</p><p>She plants one last kiss on his lips, before turning around to pull her seatbelt on.</p><p>He grins and puts the key in the ignition, pulling out onto the main road and like a maniac and drives at around 70mph on a 35mph zone. They catch up to Lincoln and Octavia’s car, Murphy swerves out into the second lane, overtaking their car and speeds up until O and Lincoln’s car is a speck in the background. She’s pretty sure she saw Miller give them the finger.</p><p>‘Slow down, lover boy’ She teases and his hand grips firmly onto her thigh.</p><p>‘That’s not becoming a thing’ He states.</p><p>She laughs in response and turns the radio on. Love is Strange by Mickey and Sylvia starts playing and she burst into an uncontrollable fit of laughter.</p><p>‘What’s so funny?’ He asks,</p><p>The lyrics continue and she sings along until her favourite part. Her music teacher, Mrs Huss would be so proud.</p><p>
  <em>Sylvia.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Yes, Mickey</em>
</p><p>She sings and mimes along, her expressions becoming increasingly melodramatic.</p><p>
  <em>‘How do you call your lover boy’</em>
</p><p>She squeals in delight and sings along, as the penny drops. Murphy sighs and both hands grip the steering wheel.</p><p>‘<em>Come here, lover boy’ </em>She sings along, smiling and laughing at her boyfriend.</p><p>Murphy never fails to surprise her, he sings along and takes the other part</p><p>‘<em>And if he doesn’t answer.’ </em>He takes his hands off the steering wheel and starts matching her gestures.</p><p><em>‘Oh lover boy’</em> She sings</p><p><em>‘And if he still doesn’t answer’ </em>He grips the steering wheel and smiles at her, oh Mrs Huss would love him.</p><p><em>‘I simply say’ </em>She squeals</p><p>They both burst into song singing together, they catch up to Wick on his motorbike, Murphy doesn’t seem to notice and if he does, he certainly doesn’t care.</p><p>‘<em>Baby, oh baby</em></p><p>
  <em>My sweet baby, you’re the one</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Baby, oh baby</em>
</p><p>
  <em>My sweet baby, you’re the one’</em>
</p><p>The song ends and they both burst out laughing again, she’s in an uncontrollable fit of giggles. She looks over smiling at her boyfriend, who’s hand is placed back on her thigh.</p><p>‘It’s a thing now isn’t it’</p><p>‘Oh, lover boy’ She teases and he scoffs rolling his eyes. But he can’t hide his smile.</p><p>The radio continues to play, they sing along to every song and an hour later they pull up at their apartment block. She jumps out the car and he chases her into the elevator, he pins her in the corner of the elevator and kisses her.</p><p>The elevator dings open and as he exits she jumps onto his back, he carries her on his back and manages to open their door.</p><p>Murphy sets her down and closes the door behind them, sliding the latch on. She dumps their bags onto the kitchen counter and then she slowly wanders over to their bedroom, beckoning him to follow.</p><p>—</p><p>
  <b> <em>- Three weeks earlier -</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Octavia, Raven and Clarke will be here in ten minutes’ She’s been straightening picture frames and moving books, in a frenzied panic for the past half an hour and Bellamy’s just sat on the sofa watching The Great British Bake Off reruns. She fluffs the pillows near him and he still doesn’t move. She stands in front of him, cutting his view of the television, he instantly cranes his head to get a better view of Paul Hollywood.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Babe’ She pleads ‘please get ready’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘For?’ He asks quirking his eyebrow up at her</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘It’s a final talk through before the wedding’ She sighs</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘We don’t need a final talk through’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Yes we do. Now get ready’ She says and smacks him gently with a cloth</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Okay in a minute’ He says but he’s distracted and not looking at her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She dumps her cleaning box on the table and he finally tears his sight away from the TV to look at her. ‘I do everything in this god forsaken apartment and now I‘m making every decision for this wedding.’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She scowls and walks towards the bathroom, he surprisingly follows her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘That’s not true.’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Yes. Yes it is true, I went cake tasting alone, I went shopping for your suit and the groomsmen’s suits, I organised the wedding seating arrangements, I planned the music, I’ve planned the food, I’ve planned the colour scheme, Octavia’s brought in a wedding planner to help us out on the day. You haven’t done anything to help me.’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He scoffs ‘I have helped you, Echo. I’ve done everything you’ve asked for the past six months.’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘You haven’t done shit’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Are you joking?’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I have done so much for us this past year, but you’ve been too busy with Clarke and Madi’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Madi’s my daughter’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘What’s Clarke to you then?’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘What does Clarke have to do with any of this?’ He asks</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘She’s everywhere I look, she’s helping out with the wedding, she’s coming over on Friday nights to pick up Madi, she’s at the parties and dinners we go to. She’s even one of my bridesmaid!’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘You asked her to be your bridesmaid, I never told you to do that.’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I never expected her to say yes’ She exclaims</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Well neither did I’ He shouts at her, but his outburst came from nowhere and Echo’s face drops</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Now why would that bother you?’ She smirks at him because she finally understands ‘Why would Clarke accepting to be my bridesmaid upset you, possibly because it proves she doesn’t love you anymore, that she’s not desperately and pathetically hung up on you.’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Echo’ She watches as he grips onto the towel rack.‘I can't keep having this conversation with you’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Am I right, Bellamy?’ She spits out at him</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He doesn’t answer her and she scoffs moving to walk past him but he stops her by gently extending this arm to block her movement, so she steps back and looks up at the man she’s supposed to marry in three weeks.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Do you still love her’ She looks up at him and she watches as his fist clench, his eyes close and the worst part is he still doesn’t answer her. ‘Do you love me?’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Of course I do.’ He says but she’s not convinced, she can’t remember the last time he actually said “I love you”.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He steps forward ‘I told you not to involve Clarke in this wedding. I told you it wasn’t fair to her, but you did it anyway.’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘So why are you so upset that she said yes’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He doesn’t answer and his eyes fall to the floor. She scoffs and pushes past him, marching towards the door to grab her coat and bag.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Where are you going?’ He follows her to the door</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Away from you’<br/></em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Echo’ He sighs</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I’m letting you get perspective, allowing you to work out what you really want in your life. I hope for our sake that you figure it out’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She wrenches the door open and slams it behind her, she pulls out her phone and calls Roan.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Hello’ His gruff tone vibrates down the phone</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I’m coming to yours, and staying the night. I need alcohol, a lot of fucking alcohol’ She hangs up the phone and runs down the stairs. She wrenches the apartment doors open and stumbles upon Octavia, Raven and Clarke.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She rushes past them and walks over to her car, she opens the car door and flings her bag onto the passenger seat.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Where are you going’ Octavia asks, holding Alex in her arms</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She turns to the three women in front of her, she look at Clarke whose holding Madi’s hand and grimaces gripping onto her car door. ‘Out’ She smirks and gets into the car.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She drives towards Roan’s house. A sense of calm washes over her, as she gets closer and closer to his neighbourhood. All Echo can hope for is Bellamy finds perspective and doesn’t just blindly call her because she’s the easy option. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her phone starts ringing and Bellamy’s face illuminates on her dashboard. She taps the ignore button and pulls up onto Roan’s driveway. She stops the car and picks up her phone turning it off and shoving it in her bag.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She steps out of the car and rushes over to Roan’s front door. Before she can even knock, the door whisks open and Roan’s scent washes over her. He pulls her into a hug and wraps his thick arms around her waist.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Trouble in paradise’ He whispers, causing goosebumps to erupt over her skin.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Stuck in Reverse</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Wells is back and he's not taking anyone's shit. I really feel like Wells is all of us right now. </p><p>Enjoy :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Darkness that’s all he wants to be surrounded by, but Wells has to come in and ruin that. By wrenching the curtains open and letting all the light in.</p><p>He groans and rolls onto his front to shield himself from the sunlight.</p><p>‘Get up’ Wells orders ‘You need to shower. It’s been a week, Bellamy’</p><p>‘Leave me alone, Wells’</p><p>‘Get up’</p><p>‘I was left at the alter’ He grinds out</p><p>‘And I was in Barbados’</p><p>‘I heard’ He mutters ‘I really appreciate you coming to the wedding’ He says sarcastically, rolling over to look at his old friend.</p><p>‘By the looks of it, there was really no point in going.’</p><p>‘Go away, Wells’</p><p>‘Shower, there’s bacon and eggs outside to soak up the alcohol.’ He watches Wells bend down to pick up the plethora of bottles lying around the room, he shoves them into a bin liner dumping it in the corner of his room.</p><p>He groans and stands, stretching out his back but a pounding in his head stops his movements.</p><p>Wells sets down a glass of water and aspirin and walks to the door. ‘You need to get your act together and start taking some damn responsibility for your actions.’ Wells slams the door causing Bellamy to clutch his head. He swigs down the water and aspirin and stands under the cold jets of water.</p><p>He emerges from his room, dressed and showered and sits down at the bar stool to eat the breakfast in front of him.</p><p>‘You stopped picking Madi up from school. Clarke’s been in a panic all week’</p><p>He winces at the reminder that he’s let his daughter down. Another part of him winces at the fact that he’s hurt Clarke, again.</p><p>‘I can't hear about this, right now’</p><p>‘What the fuck is wrong with you’ Wells spits at him</p><p>One thing you can rely on Wells to do is to provide you with his brutally honest opinion and his fierce loyalty too Clarke. He was always Clarke’s friend first, his second.</p><p>‘You wouldn’t know, you’ve been away for a long time’</p><p>‘I’ve been gone a year.’</p><p>‘A lot can happen in a year’ He winces again</p><p>‘So I’ve heard’ Wells mutters</p><p>They sit in silence, and he continues to eat his eggs and bacon, drinking his water and feeling more awake and less drunk.</p><p>‘Have you spoken to Echo?’ Wells asks and now he wishes he was drunk again.</p><p>‘Nope’ He lies</p><p>‘Really?’ His old friend smirks at him, raising an eyebrow.</p><p>‘I spoke to her yesterday.’</p><p>‘And?’ Wells pushes</p><p>‘She’s good, she left for my honeymoon with Roan. I hear the Maldives is very hot this time of year’ He feels his heart break all over again.</p><p>‘I hope it storms’ Wells states and it causes Bellamy to chuckle slightly.</p><p>They sit in silence again, and Wells picks up his phone and keys. He moves towards the door and opens it slightly.</p><p>‘Clarke’s my best friend, I will always be there for her. I know she’s fucked up but god how long are you going to hold it against her? You need to find a way to move on and forgive her.’</p><p>‘It’s not that easy’ He says staring down at his plate</p><p>‘It is. You just don’t want to do it’ The door closes and Well’s gone.</p><p>He sits there staring at the door and finally moves to pick up his phone and car keys, because he needs to see his daughter, he needs to hold her.</p><p>—</p><p>
  <em>He jumps out of the car, doesn’t look back to see if he’s in-between the lines, doesn’t look back to see if Octavia’s following him. He runs into the reception area and rushes towards the desk. He sees a face he recognises, Maya.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Clarke. Clarke is she alright?’ He pants, sucking in breath to calm his breathing</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Bellamy she was brought in about half an hour ago. She’s got a long surgery ahead of her. I’ll get a nurse to take you to the waiting area and a doctor will see you shortly’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>They are led to the waiting lounge, a few families and individuals are scattered around. They’re ushered towards the nearest seat ‘A doctor will see you shortly’ The nurse smiles sweetly at them, before walking out towards the reception area.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>They sit down and O grips his hand, which he squeezes slightly.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Have you called Abby and Jake?’ O asks and his head sags because no he hadn’t even thought to let her parents know.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I’ll do it, I’ll let them all know.’ She gets up and walks out of the lounge heading outside to give him privacy. His heart glows at Octavia’s gesture, saving him the pain from having to call everyone and let them know, to have to endure the same questions. He zones out, Octavia eventually comes back and they sit in silence.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Clarke’s parents rush in and their friends slowly drift in. Murphy arrives with his girlfriend Emori, he looks shaken and Emori leads him to a chair, stroking his back. Raven and Wells arrive, followed by Miller. He smiles as they all slowly file in, the silence allows him to observe them and he realises that Raven can’t take her eyes off Murphy, her face is consumed by pain seeing Murphy so shaken. She loves him, he thinks to himself and snorts. Octavia gives him a look and he looks away towards the double doors.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>After three hours, Clarke’s doctor emerges. Everyone turns and stands up, but Bellamy remains seated.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Clarke is okay’ Relief encompasses him, he feels like he can finally breathe again. A weight lifts off his shoulder and he brings Octavia into a tight hug.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I told you so’ His sister whispers into his ear and he grunts in response, causing her to chuckle.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘She was hit pretty badly, but thankfully the car hit the passenger side which took most of the damage. She’s not completely out of the woods, but the surgery went well. She should wake up in the next couple of hours, it may take longer.’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Abby nods along, she reaches out and takes his hand, smiling. He takes that as a good sign.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘We will let you know when she wakes up, so you can see her.’ The doctor retreats from the lounge and disappears behind the double door.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>—</em>
</p><p>She stares out the kitchen window, watching as Alex and his friend Jordan grip on to Lincoln’s legs to stop him from scoring a goal. He picks both boys up in his arms and they squeal in delight. She feels a tap on her calf and turns around to see her niece.</p><p>‘Aunty O’ Madi smiles up at her</p><p>‘Yes’</p><p>‘I want to do your hair’ Madi giggles up at her.</p><p>‘Sure, honey’ She walks over to her handbag and finds her brush, she sits down in front of the sofa and Madi scurries over climbing onto the sofa, and dangles her legs on either side of her head.</p><p>Delicate fingers start picking up her strands of hair, playing with it and brushing the ends. It’s surprisingly relaxing. The doorbell rings and Clarke rushes down the stairs, Madi giggles at her mother.</p><p>Clarke wrenches the door open and the smile on her face dies. Her brother steps into the house and the fingers which were once playing with her hair withdraw. Madi squeals in delight and runs up to her father, who picks her up and hugs her tight.</p><p>‘Hi Mads’ He sets her down on the floor and Madi grabs his hand trying to pull him towards the living room.</p><p>‘Daddy, I have so much to show you’</p><p>The front door slams shut and Lincoln pokes his head through the garden door, she motions for him to take Madi away into the garden. He swoops in and picks up Madi, who initially seems sad to be taken away from her father, but Lincoln distracts her by challenging her to a game of ‘tag’ with her cousin and Harper and Monty’s kid, Jordan.</p><p>Octavia makes her way to the kitchen, to leave the two of them in the front room. Clarke’s been pissed, she’s had a hellish week. It’s demonstrated to her how much she was depending on Bellamy to help her out with Madi. How much trust she put in him again, and for Clarke to see her daughter visibly upset and distressed this past week has left Clarke raging, stressed and tired. Whatever happened in that garden a week ago, did not help their already fragile co-parent relationship.</p><p>She slides the door that separates the living room and the kitchen, to give them privacy. But they erupt into an argument and she can’t listen to them shouting at each other. She steps out into the garden, closing the door behind her and stands next to her husband, who wraps his arm around her. She looks at Madi, Jordan and Alex who squeal in excitement and anticipation as they chase each other around the garden.</p><p>‘Bellamy and Clarke were just like this’ She mutters and looks back into the house ‘look at them now, they can’t even make it a minute without screaming at each other.’</p><p>A shout rings out from behind them, and Madi falters looking back at the house. Alex uses the opportunity to tag her before running into the ‘safety’ area they’ve invented. Madi pouts but crouches down on the grass, as if she’s about to pounce as she counts to thirty, the amount of time Alex has left before he has to run again.</p><p>‘They hate each other, Lincoln’</p><p>‘Hates a strong word’ Her husband says, tightening his grip around her.</p><p>The garden door slides open and Bellamy walks onto the patio. He watches the scene before him, Madi chasing Alex and Jordan in the garden, almost an exact replication of the first time he met Clarke. She looks at her brother, who purposefully avoids her gaze, he clears his throat.</p><p>‘Mads’ He shouts softly and the little girl turns to look adoringly at her father. ‘Lets go’. Madi rushes over to him and he picks her up. Octavia kisses the girls cheek and Lincoln holds his hand up for her to high five.</p><p>Bellamy carries Madi back into the house, Octavia stands with her husband out on the patio and focuses on her child in front of her, playing football with his best friend. She hears her brother’s car drive off and only then does she walk back into the house.</p><p>The separator between the kitchen and living room has been drawn back, the living room looks relatively the same but the atmosphere in the house, seems chilly. Clarke’s no where to be found, she walks upstairs and opens Clarke’s bedroom door and nothing, she opens the bathroom and nothing, a stupid part of her thinks she got in the car with Bellamy and Madi. But she returns to reality when she hears sniffles coming from Madi’s room, she opens the door to find the night light on and Clarke’s huddled in the corner, sitting on the floor crying. She grabs a tissue box from Madi’s bedside table and sits down next to her friend.</p><p>—</p><p>You might say Wells is on a war path and you would be correct.</p><p>Clarke had called him the afternoon of Bellamy and Echo’s wedding and told him everything that had happened. Everything that their friends had yelled at her, everything Bellamy had said to her. He understood that Bellamy was hurting and Murphy and Miller were protecting him, but there’s no excuse.</p><p>He was a week into his holiday in Barbados, having finally managed to get time off from work. He had felt bad about not going to Blake’s wedding, but he needed time out.</p><p>So around 4pm he received a phone call from Clarke and at 4:30pm he had made it to Bridgetown Airport and at 6pm he was on the next flight out to Arcadia.</p><p>He sat stewing in that metal tube up 30,000ft in the air with his hands gripped tightly on arm rests, planning how he was going to deal with his idiot friends.</p><p>He arrived late that night and showed up at Clarke’s door, she broke down in his arms. He moved her to the couch, locking the door behind him. He sat her down on the couch and she cried until she had nothing left.</p><p>Then she told him. She told him <b>everything</b>. Why their relationship broke apart and his heart burned at the amount of pain which had festered between them. What was worse is at the time none of them realised how seriously broken down they were, not until Clarke had left and Bellamy was a mess, but he refused to speak about it. </p><p>They sat in silence and she turned her head slightly to look at him and made him promise not to tell the rest of them and he nodded along, stroking her back.</p><p>She fell asleep in his lap and he carried her up to bed, tucking her in and setting a glass of water by her bedside.</p><p>He crashed on Clarke’s sofa and in the morning was woken up with Madi jumping up and down on the couch where he slept, squealing because her godfather is finally back home. He shoots up, lifting the girl up into the air, tickling her sides.</p><p>'You've grown, Mads' He beams down at his goddaughter as he lifts her back up into the air. </p><p>He hasn’t seen Madi in a year, he’s been based in London for work. But every Tuesday late in the evening he would face time Clarke and Madi to see his goddaughter. He would send Madi toys and souvenirs from London, watching her open the packages on face time made his week. Now that he's finally back for good, he can hug, tickle, squeeze Madi until she becomes an annoying teenager.</p><p>After grimacing through breakfast, which Clarke had cooked. He drove back home and packed his bags for the five day business trip he had been hoping to avoid by being away in Barbados, but with his boss knowing he was back there was no escape. As he had presumed the business trip was hell.</p><p>The minute Wells had gotten back, Clarke was in a state of panic. She’d had a hellish week of Bellamy not showing on his designated days to pick up Madi from school. </p><p>His anger returned and he drove over to Bellamy's, using his spare key to shove the door open and give Bellamy a piece of his mind, but with the new knowledge Clarke had provided him, he couldn't help but feel sorry for the man lying in the pitch black surrounded by a sea of bottles. He's wrecked.</p><p>When he had left Bellamy's apartment he drove over to Miller and Jackson's home. He knocked the door and Miller opened it shocked as if he’d seen a ghost.</p><p>‘Wells!’ Miller encased him in a hug slapping his back and like clockwork, Murphy appeared walking towards the front door and stopped short when he saw him.</p><p>‘Come in’ Miller stepped back from him and gestured for him to sit at the couch.</p><p>‘Nice to have you back, Wells’ Murphy smiled but he’s unsettled and knows why he’s here.</p><p>‘Hmm’ He mumbled out and sat there in silence trying to find how to start his sentence.</p><p>‘I thought you were Clarke’s friends’</p><p>Miller recoils and his fists curl up into a ball, which causes a small smug smile to appear on Wells face again.</p><p>‘We are her friends’ Murphy states</p><p>‘If your her friends, you’ll apologise for the utter shit you spewed at her’</p><p>Miller shifts in his seat, both of them won't meet his eye. </p><p>‘Look I know you felt like you had to protect Bellamy, but that doesn’t mean you blame Clarke for what happened. Not when she had the guts to stand up there and watch her ex boyfriend get married. Unless you’re ever in that position, don’t preach to her and do not yell at her.’</p><p>‘She shouldn’t have gone’ Miller starts but Wells interrupts him, he's not having this shit. Not today. </p><p>‘Her being there was not an issue, she was there for her daughter. Echo and Bellamy’s relationship was a mess, even before Clarke showed up. Echo always wanted him to give her more than he could, she pushed him into dating her, she pushed him into the engagement. He wanted to be happy, so he went along with it and so did we. We all saw the mess that was their relationship, but I never saw you two say a thing or calling them up on their shit, so why now are you blaming Clarke?' </p><p>Murphy nods his head and Miller looks away from him, obviously ashamed. Good. </p><p>‘Apologise to her. I don’t care when, I don’t care how. Just do it.’ Wells get up off the sofa and walks towards the door.</p><p>‘Nice seeing you two’</p><p>‘Yeah it was.. nice seeing you Wells’ Murphy sighs.</p><p>‘Oh and before I go, I just forgot to say.’ He smirks at Miller ‘Echo’s currently in the Maldives with Roan. I presume the affair started long before the wedding day, so if you want someone to blame I would put my money on the runaway bride.’</p><p>Miller and Murphy gape at him and he tries to suppress his smirk, he doesn’t want to take too much joy out of this. ‘Apologise to Clarke’</p><p>He leaves and shuts the door behind him. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. As Time Goes By</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>warnings can be found in the end chapter notes.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>‘What’s your name’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Clarke Griffin’ She answers</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘How old are you?’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Twenty two’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘When is your mother’s birthday?’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘November 3rd 1977’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The nurse smiles and looks back to her clipboard</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘And finally, who is this person to my right?’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Bellamy Blake’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The nurse nods and scribbles notes onto her chart and smiles up at her look very pleased. ‘Your memory hasn’t been severely impacted by your accident, which is great news. I’ll notify Dr Nyko and you will be discharged shortly.’ The nurse smiles and slips out of the door, leaving the two of them alone.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She’s been in hospital for a week, she’s been awake for the past five days and quite frankly she feels awful, her ribs ache when she breathes in too deeply and any sudden movement leaves her feeling faint. Dr Nyko promised her the bruising would go down and the pain would lesson, but she feels awful and that scares her, but she’s not about to tell that to her overprotective boyfriend who would make her stay and have more scans and tests.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She just wants to go home.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Bellamy strokes a piece of her hair out of her face and kisses her cheek, sensing her discomfort. ‘We’ll be home soon’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I can’t wait’ She mumbles and he nods his head in response. She feels a stab in her stomach and winces in pain, the shooting pain gets worse causing her to groan and clutch at the sheets beneath her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Bellamy freezes</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘What’s wrong’ He asks</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Nothing’ She grunts out</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘It doesn’t look like nothing’ She can sense his voice rising in panic and volume.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Bell, I’m starving can you run out down the street and pick us up some lunch?’ She grits her teeth, when she feels another stab to her stomach. Smiling sweetly in order for him to go.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He stares at her in concern, ‘please’ she asks again.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He withdraws and moves towards the door ‘I’ll be back soon’ he slips out the room and she watches him rush down the corridor.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When he’s gone, she throws herself out of the bed and doubles over in pain, tears bloom in her eyes, but she reaches the bathroom. The full length mirror displays her bruised cheek and hunched over form, and displays the spots of blood on her hospital gown, typical she’s on her period, with horrible cramps. She hears people talking outside her room and rushes huddled over back into her bed. She pulls the covers and duvet back to cover the spots of blood and smiles forcibly when Dr Nyko walks in.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He talks to her, reading from the chart. Outlining what she has to do over the next few weeks, she’s heard it all before in her nursing lectures, so sue her she zones out a little.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Clarke’ She shakes her head and looks at Nyko apologetically.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Sorry what were you saying?’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Clarke, you’re pregnant’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her face falls</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘No, no, no.’ She mumbles, her hands cling to the sheets below her. The sheets with spots of blood on them. ‘No, no, no’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I know this is a lot to process, the accident has caused you a lot of stress and inflicted trauma upon your body. But — ’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I can’t be’ She whispers and her cramps worsen, causing her double over and cry out.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dr Nyko surges forward ‘Clarke, Clarke you need to tell me what’s wrong’ He orders</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She peels back the covers to reveal the blood patches that lie there. ‘I’m having a miscarriage aren’t I?’ She whimpers, she starts to see black spots in her vision and feels increasingly faint.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nyko lies her down and lowers the bed, so she’s lying flat on her back. She hears him bark orders to his fellow colleagues who have rushed into her room.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Clarke, stay with me’ He mutters, shining a light in her eyes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It becomes darker, the black spots take over and soon her vision is gone, she can only hear the faint roll of the hospital bed along the floor and the wind that wisps past her. Her arm reaches out and grabs a fistful of what she presumes to be Nyko’s dark blue scrubs.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Don’t tell Bellamy’ Are her final words before she blacks out.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>—</em>
</p><p>It’s been another week of “civil” co-parenting, they’ve fallen back into the groove they’ve had for the past year, except this time they don’t speak to each other, unless it’s about Madi.</p><p>Every fortnight, Madi spends Friday night and the weekend with her dad, Bellamy then takes her to school on Monday morning leaving Clarke to pick Madi up in the afternoon.</p><p>Which means that when Clarke gets home at 7pm she finds Raven and Madi playing in the living room. Madi runs over to her and gives her a hug and she carries her upstairs to pack Madi’s bag, ensuring she has her Ellie, her elephant (you couldn’t think of a more clique name), she then has to put together Madi’s school uniform for Monday and then weekend clothes.</p><p>‘Mads, where’s your favourite dress, the blue flowery one?’ She asks expecting her daughter to sigh and rush past her pointing to where she’s obviously missed it.</p><p>‘It’s at daddy’s house, I got it messy, so he cleaned it’</p><p>She feels a slight stab to her heart, she knows it’s silly to get upset about a dress being left over at Bellamy’s flat, but the more Madi’s belongings start to disappear from her room, the more it hurts.</p><p>‘How did it get messy?’ She asks quirking an eyebrow at her daughter</p><p>‘I helped daddy cook spaghetti’</p><p>‘Bolognese?’</p><p>Her daughter nods her head. The doorbell rings and Madi squeals, rushing out of the room.</p><p>She sticks her head out down the room. 'Madi, be careful on the stairs, please’ and her daughter’s place slows down.</p><p>She walks back into Madi’s room and packs up her clothes and toys. She zips up her backpack and turns off the lights. She slowly makes her way downstairs, her way of stalling and keeping her daughter with her for a few more minutes.</p><p>Madi sits in her father’s arms, resting her head upon his chest, whilst Bellamy slowly rocks her back and forward, whispering nonsense in her ear that clearly amuses her daughter, who starts giggling.</p><p>Raven kisses Madi’s cheek and whispers goodbye, in return she receives a giggle and a yawn. Raven says good-bye to Bellamy who gives her a nod and her friend walks into the kitchen, to refill her wine glass.</p><p>Her hands reach out for her daughter and holds Madi in her embrace.</p><p>‘Mads hasn’t eaten yet and remember she needs Ellie by her to sleep, leave the night light on and she can watch TV for a bit, but she’s tired so she should go to sleep soon.’</p><p>‘I know, Clarke. I’ve done this before’ He states and peels Madi away from her hold and takes Madi out to the car. He returns for Madi’s weekend bag, she passes it over to Bellamy, he takes it but doesn’t meet her eye.</p><p>‘I know, you know… I’m just trying to help.’</p><p>He sighs and steps back looking into her eyes for the first time since the wedding. ‘I know what my daughter needs’</p><p>‘Our daughter’ She interjects and sighs ‘I didn’t say any of that, for this to become an argument’</p><p>He nods his head and walks out, closing the door softly behind him. She rests her forehead against the door and clenches her eyes shut.</p><p>‘Ouch’</p><p>She turns her head to see Raven leaning against the kitchen counter, sipping at her wine.</p><p>She sighs and walks over to refill her own glass. ‘He won’t talk to me, won’t look at me. It’s like I’m back in the last year of our relationship’ She mumbles staring into her glass.</p><p>‘Well you’ve got the whole weekend to yourself, got any plans?’</p><p>‘Like what’ She scoffs at her friend</p><p>‘Like a hot date?</p><p>Clarke groans and withdraws from the kitchen, moving to the couch and Raven follows her.</p><p>‘Come on, you need to get back out there. It’s been five years since…’ She glares at Raven who stops. ‘and it’s been two years since Finn’</p><p>She groans again at the reminder of the only two men she’s properly dated since she was seventeen. Raven laughs at her and Clarke lies her head down on her friend’s lap.</p><p>‘I have plans tomorrow’</p><p>‘Do you want me to come with you?’</p><p>‘That’s okay. I’m going with my mum’ She says shaking her head. ‘I miss him’</p><p>‘You’ll be with him tomorrow’ Raven whispers and leans over to grab a tissue, and hangs it in front of Clarke’s head, which she takes and wipes away the tears that fall down her cheeks.</p><p>—</p><p><em>‘</em>Hi Honey’ Her mum smiles at her, at their meeting point. She walks into her mums arms and falls into her embrace, instantly smelling her mums signature scent of peppermint.</p><p>They stay like that for a long time, in each others arms outside the cemetery. Her mother stands back and cups her cheeks smiling down at her daughter. She takes Clarke’s hand and they walk down the gravel path, both holding white peonies in their hands, her dad’s favourite flowers. They reach his stone and clear away the old wilted flowers, replacing them with the new one.</p><p>She stands back, giving her mother some time to speak and sits on the bench looking up at the sky, watching as the clouds pass over and the sun beams down on the land in front of her.</p><p>Abby slowly wanders over and sits next to her, squeezing her hand. She sighs and stands walking over to the stone and kneels before it.</p><p>‘Hi Dad… Everyone’s good, Madi’s great she’ll be moving into year 2 in September, she’s constantly full of energy, running around the house or the garden so I signed her up for swimming, dance lessons and gymnastics in the hopes that it will tire her out. Work’s busy, one of the nurses is on maternity leave so we’ve all had to up our shifts until a temporary replacement arrives. I’m doing okay, dad, things have just been hard since I’ve been back, really hard. The one person I need… won’t even look at me because he hates me.’ She stops speaking and breathes in deeply to collect herself, wiping away the few tears that fall down her face. ‘I love you dad, I know you’re probably gardening or reading to your hearts content up there but I really miss you.’</p><p>She stops, her hand grazes over the stone mound which reads.</p><p>
  <em>Jake Griffin, a wonderful father, husband and friend. May We Meet Again</em>
</p><p>‘May we meet again’ She repeats</p><p>She slowly stands up and walks back to her mother, she sits next to her in silence.</p><p>‘I can’t get on a plane’ Her mother states and scoffs at herself, staring sadly at her husband’s grave ‘I left him and flew to Boston, because he asked me to. I had this gnawing feeling that I should stay but I ignored it and went because he wanted me to. A year later I still can’t set foot on a plane, but if I heard his voice.’ Her mother’s voice cracks ands she pulls out a tissue to wipe away her tears. ‘If I heard his voice and he asked me too, I would do it. I would get on a plane and sit there for twenty-four hours if I heard his voice again, if he asked me too’</p><p>She grasps at her mums hand and rests her head upon her mothers shoulder.</p><p>‘I loved your father, but it wasn’t always so easy. We fought and hurt each other, there were times I thought your father and I were a lost cause. I thought we hated each other, but looking back it wasn’t hate. What we needed was time apart and we got that. Two years later, I found him again, in our favourite coffee shop, ordering his same boring order.’</p><p>‘Black coffee and a plain croissant’ They say together, laughing slightly.</p><p>‘I know he’s gone… but I still find myself walking into his office holding two cups of tea.’ Her mum chokes up and smiles up at the sky. ‘I don’t think I will ever stop loving him…. the love I had for him, it's like the love you and Bellamy had for each other.'</p><p>‘Mum’ She shifts away slightly. ‘Me and Bell. It ended five years ago and he still hates me’</p><p>‘I remember twelve ish years ago, when a boy arrived at our house. He rang the doorbell for the first time and your father purposefully refused to answer the door to let him stew. I remember the look on that boys face as you ran down the stairs and the look on his face when you were forced into wearing his sweatshirt. Now, I know that was twelve years ago, but honey that boy could never hate you.’</p><p>‘Things have changed since then, Mum.’ She sighs and blinks back the tears that are forming in her eyes.</p><p>‘Those feelings never die, sweetheart.’</p><p>Her mum stands up off the bench and holds out her hand which she takes, they walk down the path towards the main road and cross the road to spend the rest of the afternoon in her dad’s favourite coffee shop.</p><p>—</p><p>She arrives home, at around five. She whips up a quick dinner, but the house is so quiet because Mads isn’t home.</p><p>She sits down to eat her dinner in front of the television, when she gets a notification on her phone.</p><p>
  <em>Hi Clarke, this is Cillian we met briefly at Raven’s birthday party last year, she gave me your number. Let’s go out on a date, Monday night? X</em>
</p><p>The confidence of the text sets off a flutter of butterflies, she debates whether to answer straight away, but doorbell rings. She sighs and sets down her phone, placing it onto the coffee table. She walks over to the door and finds Murphy and Miller standing in front of her.</p><p>‘Can we come in?’ Miller asks</p><p>She stands in front of the dazed and nods her head, standing to the side so they can pass by. They walk over to her sofa and sit down, she closes the door and walks over to them.</p><p>‘Can I get you anything? Tea? Coffee?…Wine?’ She asks trying to relieve the awkwardness, she hasn’t spoken to them since the wedding, occasionally she’ll get a quick text from Murphy checking in with her but she never responds.</p><p>‘No, no. We’re goo—</p><p>‘I’d take a glass of wine’ Murphy interrupts and Miller gives him a death glare ‘I’m good’ Murphy mutters</p><p>‘What can I do for you’ She asks sitting down on her dad’s old armchair</p><p>‘We’re here to apologise’ Murphy says sitting forward and looks over to Miller who speaks</p><p>‘What we said, what I said. It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t true. You’re not responsible for Echo and Bellamy’s crap and we were in no place to blame you. We are so sorry Clarke.’</p><p>That’s all she’s really wanted them to say, for an apology.</p><p>‘You’re such a good friend to us, Clarke and we shouldn’t have said what we said. You’re right we have no idea what happened between you and Bellamy and we shouldn’t have spoken to you like that.’</p><p>‘We’ve been crappy friends.’ Murphy says and smiles sadly at her ‘We’ve missed you, Clarke’</p><p>She smiles back at them ‘I missed you guys, too’</p><p>They pounce on her, wrapping their arms around her and pulling her into a hug. They eventually release her and Murphy walks into her kitchen, clawing through her liquor cabinet. Whilst Miller collapses onto the couch, she laughs at the two of them and falls next to her old friend.</p><p>‘I am really sorry, Clarke’</p><p>‘I forgive you’</p><p>‘I was worried you wouldn’t and I would’ve deserved it anyway… turns out Roan and Echo were having an affair, she went on the honeymoon with Roan… Wells told us’ Miller scoffs</p><p>‘It’s okay’ She takes his hand and squeezes it gently.</p><p>She thought she saw something weird happening between Roan and Echo when he walked her down the aisle, but she never could’ve thought…</p><p>‘How is he?’ She asks</p><p>‘He’s alright… He doesn’t talk about it, he won’t talk to us, not Raven, not even Octavia. He’s just shut down.’</p><p>She nods her head and remembers yesterday how sad and deflated he looked.</p><p>‘He’ll be okay’ Miller answers ‘Don’t worry about him’ He pats her thigh</p><p>She hums in response and zones out. She can’t help but worry about him, but only because he’s Madi’s father.</p><p>‘Did he love her?’ The words fall out of her mouth before she realises it and she closes her eyes not prepared for Miller to respond.</p><p>‘I know… he cared for her, but I don’t know if it was love. The only person who can answer that is Bellamy.’</p><p>Murphy walks back into the room, holding a tray of five glasses filled with her favourite wine and her conversation with Miller is forgotten. She quirks her eyebrows up at him and moves forward to pick up a glass.</p><p>‘Murphy, I love you, but you need to learn how to count’</p><p>She looks at her friend, whose busy texting on his phone, he puts the phone back in his pocket and smirks at her. ‘I can count just fine’</p><p>Raven and Jackson waltz into her house, closing the door behind them and settle next to her on the couch.</p><p>‘They were waiting in the car’ Murphy shrugs</p><p>She chuckles and rests her head upon Millers shoulder as he wraps his arm around her and holds her close. She’s really missed them.</p><p>She takes a quick loo break and the minute she returns to the living room, the couples have merged towards each other, invading each other’s personal space. Raven sits curled up on Murphy’s lap and Jackson and Miller sit wrapped up in each other.</p><p>She’s surrounded by happy couples. Great. She slumps down in her father’s arm chair and catches up with Jackson about work, whilst Murphy and Miller argue about god knows what. Raven sits in between them sipping on her wine and laughing as Murphy becomes increasingly irate.</p><p>Her phone lights up on the coffee table and Raven mistakenly reaches forward to pick it up believing it to be hers.</p><p>‘Cillian, texted you!’ Raven squeals</p><p>‘Whose Cillian’ Jackson, Miller and Murphy ask in unison</p><p>‘Why haven’t you responded?’ Raven demands</p><p>‘Whose Cillian’ The boys all ask again</p><p>‘I was going to leave it for a bit’ She says looking shyly at Raven who immediately scoffs and rolls her eyes.</p><p>‘Whose Cillian’ Murphy demands</p><p>‘Friend from work, I’m trying to set Clarke up with him’ Raven says looking at her boyfriend ‘Reply to him’ Raven says turning to look at her and flings her phone at her.</p><p>With all eyes intently settled on her she groans and starts typing.</p><p>
  <em>Sounds lovely x what should I wear?</em>
</p><p>The bubbles appear and he replies instantly</p><p>
  <em>Nothing too fancy, I’m taking you to the new restaurant on Western xx</em>
</p><p><em>That’s the definition of fancy </em>She replies</p><p>
  <em>Only the best for my blind date </em>
</p><p>
  <em>How kind of you</em>
</p><p><em>I’ll pick you up at 8? </em>He replies and her heart beats faster</p><p>
  <em>Sounds great, see you tomorrow xx</em>
</p><p>
  <em>See you xxx</em>
</p><p>For the first time in a long time she feels butterflies in her stomach. She’s smiling at her phone and looks up to find them all staring at her. </p><p>‘So’ Jackson presses</p><p>‘I have a date’ She mumbles out</p><p>They all jump up, squealing in delight. Raven rushes over to her and gives her a tight hug, followed by Miller, Murphy and Jackson who pile in.</p><p>They settle back down eventually, she consistently rolls her eyes as they ask her question after question. An hour or so later, and a bottle of her favourite wine in the recycling. Her friends pile out of her house and the couples head towards their cars, Miller and Jackson reverse out and Raven kisses her cheek goodbye before getting into her car, but Murphy stays with her for a moment, standing by her front door.</p><p>‘Are you sure you’re good to drive? I can call an Uber?’</p><p>‘I haven’t had a drop to drink. I’m good’</p><p>‘Promise’ She says and pokes his side</p><p>‘Promise’ He chuckles and pulls her into a hug.</p><p>‘You deserve this’ He whispers into her ear and pulls back to look at her.</p><p>‘You sure you’re not drunk’ She asks and he laughs, stepping back down her front step.</p><p>‘Positive’ He heads towards his car and turns back to look at her ‘I missed you, princess’ He winks at her and she scoffs, but she can’t quite hide the smile on her face.</p><p>He reverses out, the headlights receded into the distance and she sighs closing the door behind her.</p><p>She walks into her kitchen and finds her uneaten dinner, now cold, lying on the kitchen counter. Her stomach growls and she sighs, moving towards the microwave to warm it up. She taps at the buttons and stands, she’s exhausted, a little tipsy from the wine and very happy, a small smile creeps onto her face as she waits for her dinner to reheat.</p><p>As her dinner circulates under the electromagnetic waves (yes she remembers something from physics at school) she thins about her date tomorrow and then she’s hit in the face with reality. She’s got to pick up Madi from school tomorrow, but perhaps…. surely Bellamy would be okay with Madi staying with him for another night.</p><p>Probably due to the alcohol circulating in her system, she has the courage to text him.</p><p>
  <em>Is it possible if Madi could stay over at your’s Monday night too? She has her school uniform for the next day, so it shouldn’t be much of a problem?</em>
</p><p>She sends it off and grits her teeth waiting in response</p><p>
  <em>That’s fine, although I can’t pick her up from school. I’m swamped in meetings until 6.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>What time would you be home?</em>
</p><p><em>7</em>He replies</p><p>
  <em>I can pick her up from school and drop her off at yours for 7:15? She sends</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Great</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Thank you so much!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>No worries</em>
</p><p>The microwave beeps, so she sets down her phone and collects her dinner, sitting down in front of the television with a smile on her face. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Warning: Mentions of Miscarriage</p><p>We are getting closer and closer to the truth!</p><p>Hope you liked the chapter.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Night Changes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>She wakes up alone and looks around her empty hospital room. Her hands surge up to her stomach and a nurse stands next to her, checking her vitals and fluids.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The nurse quickly turns around and places an arm to her shoulder, the reassuring touch calms her and she relaxes back into the hospital bed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I’ll find the doctor’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The nurse rushes out leaving her alone, shortly Dr Nyko walks in and stands at the end of her bed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Clarke. It’s okay. It’s okay’ He says holding her hands and smiling down at her. I have some really good news your baby is fine’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her hands relax against her stomach and she looks up confused ‘I don’t understand’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘The amount of stress and trauma your body was under, we were worried that the pregnancy may not survive when we had you in surgery. The spotting of blood that you saw and the cramps you experienced are symptoms of a miscarriage, however in you are still pregnant.’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘My baby is okay’ She asks</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Yes, Clarke’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She bursts into tears, her body is exhausted and tired. She slumps back and cries.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I’m sorry’ She chokes out and Nyko shakes his head and moves closer, to sit by her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘There’s nothing to be sorry about’ He states and hands her a tissue</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I’m so scared’ She whispers and looks into his eyes ‘I can’t be a mother now. I’m not ready. God, Bellamy, where’s Bellamy’ She shoots up looking panicked and Nyko moves her to lie back down.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘He’s in the waiting area, I can bring him down?’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Did you tell him?’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘No, I didn’t. I am your doctor not his.’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘He can’t know’ She whispers looking down at her stomach and Nyko moves to the door.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Nyko?’ He turns to look back at her. ‘I can’t — ’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She doesn’t finish her sentence, and instead looks at her stomach. A part of her glows at the fact that she’s pregnant, but the other part… she can’t do it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>—</em>
</p><p>She picked Madi up from school at three, she hadn’t seen her since Friday night. Her daughter runs up and jumps into her arms. She spins her around and Madi giggles, she smothers the girl in kisses. She sets her down on the floor and they walk hand in hand to the car, where Clarke listens to her daughter’s detailed account of the weekend.</p><p>She buckles Madi into the car seat, she closes the door and gets into the front seat, driving them home.</p><p>She opens the door and Madi rushes into the house and jumps onto the sofa, turning the TV on and finding the Disney channel, it scares her that her six year old can use the TV better than her. They spend the next few hours watching the classic princess movies until she looks up at the time and sees it’s five. She walks upstairs to start getting ready.</p><p>Opening her wardrobe, she pulls out her red satin dress, the thin straps and cowl neckline, to show off her collar bone. She puts on her diamond necklace and matching earrings. She turns to her hair, and places it in a taught pony tail, with a few strands falling down her face. Make-up has always been minimal for her, little bit of concealer, eyeliner, mascara, and a red lip to match the dress.</p><p>By the time she’s finished its six thirty. She rushes downstairs and sets her daughter on the bottom step, she puts Madi’s shoes on and puts her black heels on. She puts Madi’s coat on and then puts her own coat and bag on.</p><p>Her phone buzzes and its a text from Cillian</p><p>
  <em>Can’t wait for tonight xxx</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Can we meet at the restaurant, I just have some quick errands to run xx</em>
</p><p>She laughs at the fact that she’s referred to her daughter as an errand, but she’s never met this guy and doesn’t want to scare him away by mentioning she has a daughter.</p><p>
  <em>Sure thing, I’ll be waiting. Reservation name is under Marks xx</em>
</p><p>She puts her phone away and picks up her daughter, rushing out to the car and places her in the car seat before slamming the door. She hops in the front seat and she drives them to Bellamy’s, only thirty minutes away.</p><p>‘You look very pretty, mummy’ Madi states from the back seat</p><p>‘Thank you, sweetheart’</p><p>‘Where are you going’ Her daughter innocently enquires</p><p>‘Just out with a friend’</p><p>Madi becomes distracted and plays with her toys in the back seat. Eventually they arrive at Bellamy’s flat and she parks the car and hops out of the car. She picks up Madi and rushes into the apartment block, and stops the elevator from closing.</p><p>The elevator dings open and she reaches Bellamy’s apartment, she knocks at the door and he opens the door. She sets Madi on the floor and the girl rushes in, not looking back to say goodbye.</p><p>‘Thank you for this’ She sighs and Bellamy nods</p><p>‘You look nice’ He coughs and scratches the back of his head</p><p>‘Oh’ She’s taken aback by the compliment ‘Thank you’</p><p>Madi rushes back to the door and hugs her dad’s leg ‘Mummy has a date’</p><p>She gawks at her daughter and realises Raven must have told her. She rolls her eyes and crouches down to kiss her daughter’s cheek.</p><p>‘Behave’ She tickles Madi’s sides and then stands back up and smiles at the man before her, before turning back around towards the elevator.</p><p>‘Have a nice night’ He calls out</p><p>‘Thanks’ She smiles back at him</p><p>‘He’s a very lucky man’</p><p>She’s taken aback, just a little bit. She moves to respond but Bellamy steps out of her view, shutting the door behind him. She stands in the hallway, staring at the door. The elevator opens and prizes her out of her thoughts, she sighs and steps into the metal box. She tries to psych herself back up, remembering that she’s excited for her date. But a small part of her remains in that hallway, with Bellamy.</p><p>—</p><p>‘So your mum has a date?’ He says sitting next to Madi whose playing with her toys on the sofa.</p><p>‘Uh huh’ His five year old responds.</p><p>‘Good. Good for her.’ A beat later and he asks another question. ’Did she say anything about him?’</p><p>‘No, Aunty Raven told me that mummy’s going out with a man friend, but then Alex said that he heard Aunty O talking about mummy going on a date. Daddy, what’s a date?’</p><p>His fist clench, slightly shocked that he’s being asked this. He didn’t expect this for another thirteen years, because no daughter of his is dating until she’s eighteen and out of his house, so he doesn’t have to physically watch his baby girl be ripped from him.</p><p>‘It’s what two people go on when they really like each other’ He says gently poking her nose</p><p>‘So like, Uncle Murphy and Aunty Raven or Aunty O and Uncle Lincoln’</p><p>‘Exactly’ He states smiling, he’s pretty proud of himself for getting out of this conversation, without having to dance around potential awkward questions she could throw at him.</p><p>‘Did you and mummy used to go on dates?’ Madi asks, innocently looking up at him. He spoke too soon, his heart flips and his insides feel like they're being pulled out of him.</p><p>‘Yeah, we used to’ He coughs and stares ahead</p><p>‘So, mummy’s on a date with someone else. Just like you went on dates with Echo’</p><p>‘Yep’ She’s really summed it up there, another stab to the heart at the reminder of Echo.</p><p>‘So mummy’s in love?’</p><p>He damn well almost chokes, spiralling into a coughing fit and eventually he manages to even out his breathing to gawk down at his daughter. He sighs and laughs a bit scratching his head as he tries to think of how to start this.</p><p>‘Love… it’s a strange thing. Your mum may love this guy, maybe she’ll fall in love with him the minute she lays eyes on him. Or maybe it will take her some time to fall in love with him. It all depends on what you feel in here.’ He taps on his babies chest, right where her pure and innocent heart is.</p><p>‘Did you and mummy love each other’ Madi asks cuddling further into his embrace and he feels his heart breaking, just like it did six bloody years ago. When he let the love of his life go.</p><p>‘Yeah… I loved your mum very much’</p><p>He looks down at Madi who yawns and cuddles up into his side.</p><p>‘Okay kiddo, let’s get you some dinner and then bed’ He says and Madi nods her head.</p><p>He whips up some pesto pasta, serving it to his tired daughter. He tests her on spelling and her counting, where she can happily get too ten, not skipping three or seven.</p><p>He tucks her into bed, bathed, teeth brushed and suited in her new pyjamas, he bought for when she sleeps over. He looks down at his daughter, wrapped up in her duvet and lies down next to her to read her bedtime story. After three pages, he sense her drifting off, he continues to read on until he’s certain she’s asleep. He uncurls himself from her embrace and kisses her forehead.</p><p>‘Goodnight, kiddo’ He whispers</p><p>He sneaks out of her room, slowly closes the door leaving it open a crack and collapses onto the sofa, turning on the TV.</p><p>He can’t quite focus, his thoughts revolve around Clarke.</p><p>When he opened the door he was stunned, Madi ran past him and Clarke’s gaze followed her daughter but he was looking solely at her. It was the dress, the red dress she wore on their first date. She did wear his jumper over it for the rest of the date, but it’s that dress.</p><p>He sighs and tries to focus on the football match and not the pounding of his heart.</p><p>
  <em>—</em>
</p><p>As first dates go, this one has been amazing. Cillian’s charming, cynical, funny and has a sharp wit. He’s good looking with piercing blue eyes, just like her. He’s intelligent and they have a lot in common, he adores kids and didn’t freak out when she mentioned Madi, asking for photos of her daughter and not the bill like the last guy.</p><p>If anything, the first dates gone <b><em>too</em></b> well. He generously pays for the dinner which she refuses, they almost cause a scene, shoving their cards in the waiters face. She wins obviously and they split the bill. He brings over her coat, and helps her put it on.</p><p>They exit the restaurant and she feels excited. They stand in front of one another and he pulls her in for a hug, kissing her cheek. God, he smells good.</p><p>She steps back and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. They walk down the street hand in hand, and fall into an easy conversation.</p><p>‘You can not honestly like mint chocolate ice-cream’ He exclaims</p><p>‘I can, it’s amazing’</p><p>He scoffs ‘God no wonder societies going to the dogs, with people like you raising our future generation’</p><p>She fakes astonishment, stopping in the street. He laughs and pulls her forward, wrapping his arms around her waist. She’s a few cm away from his lips and she quirks her eyebrow up at him.</p><p>‘I don’t know if I can kiss a man, who would bash the worlds greatest ice cream’ She smirks up at him and with confidence that makes her swoon, he places his finger underneath her chin to raise her lips closer to his and leans in.</p><p>The kiss unearths some part of her she thought was dead, locked away and buried. He makes her feel hot and confident, something that over the years slowly disappeared. He leans back and rests his forehead against hers.</p><p>‘Wow’ He states, which causes her to chuckle.</p><p>‘Wow’ She replies</p><p>‘Shut up’ He smirks at her and they walk off hand in hand, towards her car, which they get in together and she drives them back to hers…</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Dot Dot Dot...</p><p>This chapter's probably one of the shortest in the story, so I will post Chapter 11 as well, to give you guys some more. </p><p>Enjoy and share your thoughts, I love reading them. </p><p>Ty 💛</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Game, Set and Match</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Two chapters in one day, enjoy !!!</p><p>Can't wait to hear your thoughts!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Clarke was discharged from the hospital a month ago, her bruising has healed nicely but for the first week, she would wake up in the morning throwing up into the toilet. He would rush over to her and hold back her hair, but she would always push him away and by the second week he would find the door locked.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Then overnight the sickness stopped and he believed her when she dismissed his concern stating it was just a stomach bug.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She’s been ridiculously busy these past few weeks, he hasn’t really had the opportunity to speak to his girlfriend. He doesn’t know what’s changed. This past week she comes home and locks herself in her bedroom and sobs, she can’t look at him and every time he tries to raise it with her it falls upon deaf ears.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Clarke’s out again, as usual. He’s set himself task to distract him for the day. He’s bought new groceries and the laundries in, so he moves on to changing the bins, which he hasn’t changed for several weeks. I know he’s a pig, but honestly he was just testing to see if Clarke would do it and no surprise she didn’t.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He picks up the bin and the bottom falls open, thankfully it’s not the food waste. Plastic wrapping, bits of paper, torn up letters, tissues fall onto the floor. He grabs a new bin liner and starts picking up all the rubbish on the floor when his eyes fall upon a pregnancy test.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He picks it up and stares at it, where two bright pink lines emerge. She’s pregnant he thinks and then the past month fits together and makes complete sense.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her stomach bug was morning sickness, her turbulent emotions were due to pregnancy hormones. Her eversion to some of the meals he’s cooked, her distance from him. She’s probably beside herself, worried that he won’t be happy, when in fact he’s over the moon.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘She’s pregnant’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He picks up the rest of the trash and ties it up in a knot, he jogs outside the apartment to the trash chute and throws it down. He returns and closes the door, picks up the stick and places it in his locked draw.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He’ll let her tell him, he doesn’t want to deny her that.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>—</em>
</p><p>He sets the table for the dinner/game night that’s happening at his apartment tonight. His phone buzzes in his pocket, to see Murphy calling him.</p><p>‘Hello’</p><p>‘Blake, can you help us down here’ Murphy groans, and he hears something drop to the floor. ‘Fucking hell’ Murphy swears</p><p>‘Language’ he hears Octavia snap in the background</p><p>‘Blake, get your arse down here’</p><p>He hangs up the phone, grabs his keys and runs down the flights of stairs to find his friends hauling a box out of the back of Octavia’s minivan, whilst Murphy and Raven are crouched in a corner loading a box up with board games.</p><p>‘What the hell is this?’</p><p>‘Board games’ Murphy states</p><p>‘No shit, but I have games’</p><p>‘No. No you don’t, you have trivial pursuit and the history channel’</p><p>‘Are you saying my game nights aren’t fun’</p><p>‘Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying’ Murphy smirks up at him from the floor and Raven chuckles into Murphy’s side.</p><p>He walks past the two of them because their perfect relationship is nauseating, so he helps Lincoln carry the box in the boot of Octavia’s minivan.</p><p>‘What’s in here?’ He asks and begins to open the box, but Octavia slaps his hand and slams the box shut.</p><p>‘It’s a surprise’ She smiles and Lincoln snorts next to him.</p><p>‘It’s booze, isn’t it?’ He quirks his head at her and she dips her head</p><p>‘Yeah okay it’s booze’</p><p>‘You know I have alcohol’</p><p>‘No you don’t’ Murphy shouts out from the entrance of his apartment block.</p><p>Octavia smirks at him and rushes off, linking her arm with Raven, they rush up the stairs leaving Murphy crushed by the door, holding a box of board games. Holding the box of booze, Lincoln closes the boot and locks the minivan. They slowly make their way over to Murphy’s who is still trapped in the door.</p><p>‘You struggling there?’ He asks and Lincoln snorts next to him</p><p>‘Blake’ Murphy’s leg kicks him in the leg, causing his grip on the box to slip but thankfully Lincoln grip on the box holds strong and he is able to readjusts his hold, glaring at Murphy who is trying to hide his smile.</p><p>They open the door, to free Murphy and slowly make their way up to his apartment and set down the two boxes. Octavia and Raven rush over to the kitchen and somehow his kitchen counter is covered in snacks, salads and food.</p><p>‘Is that lasagne?’ He calls out and then immediately looks at Murphy, pleading to God that he made it.</p><p>‘Murphy made it’ Octavia calls out from the kitchen</p><p>There is a god he thinks and Murphy slaps him on the back and mutters into his ear ‘I made two’ and Bellamy could die from happiness.</p><p>Murphy leans over the box picking up a six back of beer and takes three bottles out. Murphy passes one to Lincoln and Bellamy expectantly holds out his hand, but Murphy walks off to the kitchen, handing Raven the second bottle. Lincoln snorts and he rolls his eyes.</p><p>He turns back to the box, searching for a bottle of beer but his eyes fall upon bottles of white wine, red wine, rosé, vodka, tequila, brandy, rum, bottles of gin and cans of tonic, with litre bottles of lemonade, pepsi and coke for mixers.</p><p>‘Christ, O! How much alcohol did you bring’</p><p>‘She wanted to bring more’ Lincoln mutters under his breath and Bellamy rolls his eyes.</p><p>He picks up his bottle of beer and walks over to the kitchen with Lincoln, the counter is covered in bowls of snacks and platters of food to go in the oven, which is already filled with Murphy’s lasagne’s.</p><p>‘You really pushed the boat out O’ He laughs</p><p>She groans, when Lincoln presents her with a glass of what appears to be straight vodka. ‘Thank you, honey’ she says kissing Lincoln’s cheek and then backs her drink without a word.</p><p>They all gawk at her, he moves towards his sister. ‘O, you should take it easy’</p><p>‘No, I’m not taking it easy. I love Alex, but he’s away for the whole weekend with Madi and Jordan at their friends house, god save those parents. This is my first time in five months being away from him and I want to get black out drunk and play stupid board games, whilst stuffing my face with Murphy’s lasagne which I’ve been fantasising about for weeks.’ She turns to Lincoln ‘no offence honey’</p><p>‘None taken’ Lincoln says and lifts up his bottle of beer to make a toast ‘To no kids, Murphy’s lasagne and getting black out drunk’</p><p>‘Cheers’ They all say and raise their glasses. Raven brings out her speaker and turns some music on.</p><p>Octavia squeals and rushes over to Raven, they jump onto the sofa and start belting out Hey Ya! by Outkast.</p><p>The front door swings open revealing a hoard of people rushing in to his apartment. Monty, Harper, Wells, Jasper, Miller, Jackson and Clarke. </p><p>Monty and Harper hold up four bottles of wine. Jasper brings in jello shots, why is he even surprised and Miller brings his own personal beer, that no one else is allowed to drink. They all rush past him towards the kitchen, with Harper joining Raven and Octavia on the sofa, singing along or more like squealing.</p><p>Clarke is left in front of him holding up a bottle of his favourite whiskey.</p><p>‘Are you trying to get me drunk?’ He jokes</p><p>She laughs slightly ‘No, no… it’s a peace offering to say sorry… For everything’</p><p>‘God, Clarke I should be the one apologising. How I acted after my “wedding”… that wasn’t your fault. How I’ve been acting ever since, I’m sorry for being such a dick. You're the mother of my child and I can't be so hostile and bitter towards you. You were such big part of my life and honestly I miss you. I know I have so much more to apologise for.’ He laughs and scratches his head 'but I want you to know how sorry I am, for everything.' </p><p>She sticks her hand out ‘Friends?’ She asks.</p><p>He shakes her hand and pulls her into a hug.</p><p>‘Friends’</p><p>He steps back, releasing her from his hold.</p><p>‘I know I keep messing this up, but I’m letting it all go now. It’s in the past.’</p><p>‘Me too’ She whispers and takes his hand, squeezing it slightly ‘I heard about Echo and Roan. I’m really sorry Bell’</p><p>‘Ah, it’s fine… She was right, things had changed, it wasn’t right anymore’. He stands awkwardly in front of her and sighs, shifting backwards to make his leave for the kitchen to hide the whiskey she gave him, it’s a £30 bottle and he doesn’t want any of his friends or his sister finding it.</p><p>Dancing Queen breaks out on to the speaker, his instinct is to cover his ears to protect himself from the squeals and screams that will soon come out of his sister however he doesn’t expect this reaction from Murphy, who jumps up next to Octavia pushing Harper off the couch and centres himself in-between Raven and Octavia. </p><p>He pulls his phone out to record this miracle event.</p><p>‘It’s Murphy and his dynamos’ Miller cracks up next to him</p><p>‘I always knew he’d be Donna’ Clarke giggles.</p><p>The threesome belts out the lyrics and jump up and down on his sofa. They reach the chorus and Murphy shoves both Octavia and Raven onto the floor, going solo like the diva he is.</p><p>
  <em>You’re a teaser, you turn ‘em on</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Leave them burning and then you’re gone</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Looking out for another, anyone will do</em>
</p><p>All of a sudden Murphy’s dragged back by O and Raven and pinned to the floor, Jasper all of a sudden takes his spot in centre stage.</p><p>
  <em>You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen.</em>
</p><p>Jasper sings out the rest of the tune. Bowing at the end, whilst his adoring fans clap and scream at his performance. Bellamy’s been laughing so much, he feels like he’s worked out his abs.</p><p>Octavia and Raven release Murphy and he stands up in a strop but then bursts out into cheers for Jasper.</p><p>The oven beeps and all of a sudden, it’s dead quiet. They all turn to Murphy with smiles on their faces, he walks towards the oven putting his gloves on and takes the lasagne out of the oven. He watches as his friends all rush over to the dinner table.</p><p>They all sit down at their assigned places. Murphy brings over the lasagne and Octavia brings over the second one, followed by Clarke who brings over a bowl of Caesar salad with the croutons he loves. Everyone sits down and Murphy serves everyone’s plate, finally they’re all seated and tuck in to their meal and drinks.</p><p>Forks rise, mouths open and everyone moans.</p><p>‘You’re welcome’ Murphy smirks</p><p>‘I love you’ Octavia states and grabs Murphy’s face, kissing his cheek.</p><p>They all continue eating and break into chatter. He sits at the head of the table and silently observes his friends chattering on. He smiles as he views Murphy’s arms around Raven, Monty and Jasper bickering at the end of the table over the last crouton, whilst Harper talks to Lincoln and Octavia drinks her pina colada. God knows where she got that from.</p><p>He’s surrounded by his family, who are becoming drunker by the minute.</p><p>‘So Clarke’ Harper screeches from the other end of the table, sipping on her drink.</p><p>Clarke turns her head away from her conversation with Wells to look at Harper.</p><p>‘How’s Cillian?’</p><p>Agreeable mutterings consume the table, who all turn to look at Clarke.</p><p>‘He’s good’ She states</p><p>Wells catches his eye and smirks at him. Arse.</p><p>‘Do you like him’ Raven asks</p><p>‘Perhaps’ Clarke retorts and everyone scoffs</p><p>‘Is he your boyfriend’ Octavia slurs, taking over the interrogative line of questioning.</p><p>Clarke shrugs her shoulders, plunging the group into uproar.</p><p>‘Hey, hey.’ Clarke says raising her voice over the frustrated drunk people. ‘I’ll give you one answer and then this conversation is done, okay?’</p><p>The vultures nod their heads and lean forward, yearning for information.</p><p>‘It’s very early but I really like him, he makes me very happy.’</p><p>Octavia, Raven and Harper squeal and stagger over too Clarke, throwing their bodies on her, in their drunk way of giving her a hug.</p><p>‘Can we play a game now’ Jasper slurs, head in his hands smiling gormlessly at everyone.</p><p>He clears his throat and speaks ‘Sure’ Clarke turns her head to stares at him shocked, like she forgot he was there. He picks up the empty plates and makes his way over to the kitchen.</p><p>He sighs and rests his hands against the sink. His back is back to everyone else and he sighs, moving to pack the dishwasher.</p><p>‘What you thinking about’ Wells says sliding up next to him</p><p>‘That I’m not drunk enough’</p><p>‘I don’t think that’s it’ Well’s smirks at him</p><p>He finishes putting the plates in the dishwasher and uses his foot to kick the door close. He grabs another bottle of beer and lifts it to his mouth and takes a sip.</p><p>‘Nope, that’s what I’m thinking about’</p><p>He moves to leave the kitchen area. ‘You’re in denial’ Wells calls out</p><p>‘I don’t care’ He calls back and walks into the living room where everyone else is sitting, Raven deals out the cards and he sits down to collect his stack.</p><p>‘What are we playing?’ He asks them</p><p>‘Bullshit’ Monty responds</p><p>He settles into the coach and hides his cards from the rest of them. In this game you can’t trust anyone, especially Miller.</p><p>‘Two three’s’ Harper states placing her cards face down</p><p>‘Four fours’ Wells says</p><p>‘Bullshit’ He calls and Wells glares at him, turning over his cards to reveal three sixes and a nine. Wells picks up the cards, whilst the group laughs at him.</p><p>‘Four sixes’ Lincoln smirks and of course no one challenges him.</p><p>‘A seven’ Murphy smirks</p><p>Everyone turns to Raven, who is curled up on her boyfriend’s lap. ‘Raven it’s your turn’ Jasper sighs.</p><p>‘She’s playing with me’ Murphy grins and everyone scoffs, scoffing in disgust.</p><p>‘You’re all jealous’ Raven sticks up her middle finger and walks over to the kitchen to bring back more drinks.</p><p>The game keeps going, Wells sucks at this game so his pile of cards is the largest. Harper and Monty have basically given up, becoming spectators and giving their cards to Jasper, who protests in outrage but one look from Clarke and he shuts up, sulking in the corner.</p><p>He keeps his eye firmly on Jackson and Miller, who seem to becoming closer to getting rid of their cards all together.</p><p>‘Two ace’s’ Jackson states</p><p>‘Bullshit’ Miller calls smirking at his boyfriend, watching as Jackson sighs in defeat and picks up the tall pile of cards. Jackson glares at Miller, who shrugs his shoulders and smiles down at his cards. See never trust Miller in Bullshit, no one is safe not even Jackson.</p><p>More cards fall down on the table and the pile increases.</p><p>‘A five’ Octavia says</p><p>‘Two sixes’ Lincoln states</p><p>He looks down at his cards a down finds a seven, thank god. ‘One seven’ no one challenges him but Miller smirks at him as he places down his next card.</p><p>‘Two eights’ Miller says</p><p>‘Bullshit’ Everyone shouts, they watch his face fall and everyone leans forward to watch him turn over his cards. Miller sighs and flips the cards over to reveal two eights.</p><p>The bastard</p><p>‘Shit’ He mutters</p><p>Miller sits back and gloats holding his only remaining cards, whilst the rest of them divide up the pile and redistribute the cards.</p><p>‘I feel sorry for you all I really do’ Miller smiles ‘You will never beat me’. He places his final card down.</p><p>‘One king’ He smirks</p><p>‘I need tequila’ Jasper moans and throws his cards in the deck, walking off into the kitchen to find Raven.</p><p>‘I’ll join you’ A bunch of them get up defeated and walk over to the kitchen, soon Katy Perry is being blasted out of the speaker and he sees more alcohol being poured down his sisters neck. They’re all busy dancing and drinking he takes his chance to sort some things out.</p><p>He walks into his bedroom and drags out his old inflatable mattresses, blankets and pillows. He also collects sick buckets, just in case. He drags them out into the living room, because he presumes that he’s going to have ten people sleeping in his apartment tonight.</p><p>He collapses onto the sofa to rest, someone slumps down next to him.</p><p>‘Look at you all prepared’ Clarke slurs lightly tapping his shoulder</p><p>‘You know me’ He jokes</p><p>‘I do’ Her head lulls and eyes close slightly.</p><p>He nudges her shoulder. ‘So you and Cillian?’</p><p>She groans and turns her head to look at him.</p><p>‘Hey, I’m happy for you. You deserve it, princess’ The old nickname slips out but she doesn’t seem too realise.</p><p>‘Hmph’ She rests her head on his shoulder and it resurrects his past memories, memories he thought he had buried.</p><p>‘It’s new’ She whispers.</p><p>‘You’re happy’ He states ‘I know that much’</p><p>‘I am’</p><p>He quickly looks down at Clarke and catches a dazed, contented smile bloom across her face. Harper runs over and lifts Clarke off the sofa, dragging her back to the kitchen. Wells plops next to him and Bellamy groans, preparing himself for the teasing.</p><p>But Wells doesn’t say a word and instead hands him a bottle of beer and clink their bottles together. They sit in wordless silence sipping at their beer and watching the utter chaos that plays out before them.</p><p>—</p><p>
  <em>A few weeks have passed since he found out about Clarke’s pregnancy, but she’s yet to tell him. He decides its time for him to raise the subject, he wants to get back to what their relationship was, he wants Clarke to feel comfortable around him and not flinch away when he brushes past her or rush off into the bathroom and cry before bed. He knows a baby will change a lot of things, but he’s ready and he desperately wants her to know that, so she doesn’t have to worry alone.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>After work, he walks down to the local jewellery store and picks up a golden bracelet. A gift for his pregnant girlfriend, within the bracelet he had some words engraved.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The head and the heart</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He picks up the necklace and rushes home, bubbling with nerves. He enters the apartment and sets the table for dinner and whips up her favourite meal, spaghetti bolognese. He places the bracelet in its box and sets the pregnancy test next to it, he quickly closes the box shut and sets it on her plate.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He dims the lights and brings out the electric candles. He sits at the dinner table and waits.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Seven minutes later the door opens and in walks Clarke.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. I Will Take Care of You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So pretty much everything's out in the open now<br/>- The meaning behind the bracelet<br/>- The reason for the break up</p><p>It's actually been so interesting writing this and reading the comments, especially regarding Bellamy. I wonder what everyone's opinions on him now are, have they changed or are they relatively the same? </p><p>There's still more to uncover, but that's going to have to wait for another chapter. </p><p>Ty for reading and see you in the next one ;)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>- Six months later -</b>
</p><p>It’s six o’clock in the morning and Alex was running around the house in excitement from five. He hopes that the boy will be tuckered out, so by the time they arrive Alex would have calmed down. </p><p>‘Octavia’ He yells down the stairs. He turns back to his son and helps Alex tie his shoelace. No response from his wife so he tries again</p><p>‘Octavia!’ Again no response so he picks up Alex and walks upstairs to find his wife in a panic rushing in and out of the ensuite bathroom.</p><p>‘Octavia’ He states and sets Alex on their bed.</p><p>‘How much time til we have to leave?’ She asks, sticking her head out of the bathroom door.</p><p>‘Thirty minutes’</p><p>His wife groans and emerges from the bathroom in a jumper and joggers, she yawns and walks into his arms.</p><p>‘You look beautiful’ He says beaming at her</p><p>‘I don’t feel beautiful’ She pouts and looks down at her stomach</p><p>He places his hands on her pregnant belly. ‘You should’ He kisses her temple and she rests her head on his chest.</p><p>He picks up Alex and grabs his wife’s hand. ‘You have everything, let’s go’</p><p>He pulls her hand and she whines walking out of their room, she takes Alex from his hands and sets him on the floor. The two of them walk down the stairs hand in hand.</p><p>‘O’ He shouts down from the bedroom</p><p>‘Yeah’</p><p>‘Is your brother and Wells here yet? They’re driving with us’</p><p>‘Wells is here’ She yells back</p><p>—</p><p>The venue is a three hour drive away from Arcadia, which means at seven am he’s somehow been roped into driving six people to the location, because these sods didn’t want to drive.He’s got, Harper, Monty, little Jordan and Jasper in the back, and his boyfriend Jackson sits in the passenger seat next to him.</p><p>‘Miller, can you not drive so slowly’ Jasper groans from the back of the minivan.</p><p>‘You can walk there if you want, Jas’</p><p>‘Never mind’ Jasper mutters</p><p>He looks back in the rearview mirror and takes a quick look at the group. Harper sits with a box on her lap, her ginger hair sits in a high bun. On a hook next to her, hangs a white dress bag and tied up in the boot sits the rack for all the dresses and suits. Monty sits next to Harper and Jordan sits by the other window seat, thankfully the boys fallen asleep on his father’s lap. Jasper sits behind them on his phone, piles of boxes sit next to Jasper.</p><p>‘How long til we get there’ Harper asks</p><p>He looks at the time, 9:15am ‘Thirty minutes’</p><p>‘Perfect’ Harper smiles tiredly and he watches as Monty takes her hand and squeezes it.</p><p>—</p><p>Wells has never been a particularly punctual person, usually late, never early. However today he prides himself in the fact that he beat Bellamy Blake, the most punctual man on the planet, to arriving at Octavia and Lincoln’s.</p><p>By 6:30 they had all piled into the minivan. Lincoln driving, Octavia sits next to him looking radiant, as always. Alex sits in between him and Bellamy and they drove off, towards the venue. Christ why did it have to be three hours away.</p><p>He had expected Clarke and Madi to be driving with them, but apparently Cillian’s driving them to the venue. He watches Bellamy but no response appears on the man’s face, he just sits there and smiles, reading stories to Alex in the hopes to lull the boy off to sleep.</p><p>By 9:45 they arrive at the venue, they pulled up right next to Miller’s minivan, where Harper and Monty were unloading boxes from the boot. They all piled out of the minivan and Alex had groggily hopped out of the van and wandered over to Jordan.</p><p>They turned to find Miller standing proudly by his car door with Jackson standing next to him.</p><p>‘We beat you’ Miller smirks triumphantly</p><p>‘We arrived two minutes after you’ Bellamy retorts</p><p>‘I know, but we still won.’</p><p>Wells rolls his eyes and walks to the back of the car to help Bellamy unload, they all walk along the gravel path. A racket of noise breaks out behind them and Wells turns his head slightly to watch Jasper, roll a clothes rack along the gravel path. They walk through the entrance glass doors and follow Harper and Octavia into a side room, to dump all the stuff that the wedding planner requested they bring.</p><p>‘I’m glad I didn’t come to your wedding, Blake’ He grunts as he sets his box down on the floor.</p><p>‘I never had to do any of this’ Bellamy replies as he bends down to put his crate on the floor.</p><p>Miller and Lincoln walk through holding what looks like a trunk.</p><p>‘That was because you were the groom, you sat upstairs on your arse just like Murphy will be doing and we had to do all of this crap because of that damn wedding planner.’ Miller grunts and Lincoln and Miller drop the trunk onto the floor.</p><p>On cue, the wedding planner rushes into the room adorning some ridiculous head set and holds a clipboard tightly to his chest.</p><p>‘Be careful with that’ He squeals and Miller rolls his eyes.</p><p>An argument breaks outside the room, which thankfully distracts the wedding planner. He rushes to the hallway but turns back to look at them.</p><p>‘Meeting at 11am, don’t be late. It’s the last walk through before the wedding’ The wedding planner claps his hands, staring at all of them with a piercing glare that makes Wells incredibly uncomfortable. He then smiles and turns on his heels rushing off towards the commotion in the hall. His screams and shouts are heard from the room and people rush down the hall, lagging boxes and crates. </p><p>Wells sighs and casts his eyes back to the group.</p><p>Octavia waltzes into the room, she surveys all of them before turning to her clipboard.</p><p>‘Harper you’re with me, you have the dresses and suits right’ Harper holds up the white dress bag and Jasper pushes forward the clothing rack.</p><p>‘Lincoln you just need to take Jordan and Alex to the kid area, Maya’s in there she’ll be waiting for you.’</p><p>‘Maya’s here?’ Jasper asks and Octavia nods. Jasper rushes forwards picking up Jordan and walks swiftly out of the room, Lincoln sighs and follows holding Alex’s hand.</p><p>Octavia proceeds and smiles up at them smugly</p><p>‘Bellamy, Miller, Wells and Jackson, you’re all helping Ronaldo set up’</p><p>‘Noooo’ Miller whines but he shuts up the minute Octavia glares at him.</p><p>‘Whose Ronaldo?’ He asks and everyone points to the man outside barking out orders down his headset.</p><p>Oh god.</p><p>‘When you’re finished, get dressed and meet us all in the hall by 11, for Ro’s meeting. Oh and when Clarke arrives send her up and Cillian can help you guys set up.’</p><p>—</p><p>They pull up to the venue at 10. Cillian helps her unload the boot, she picks Madi up and they walk swiftly into the entrance. </p><p>The minute she opens the doors its bustling with chatter and people run past her, she spots Ronaldo and her head automatically lowers, to keep herself out of sight. She takes Madi towards the kids room and finds Maya whose chatting to Jasper, of course. She smiles at Maya and sets Madi down, she’s already dresses in her flower girl outfit, Alex and Jordan are wearing suits with tiny bow ties, they look adorable.</p><p>She slips out of the room and makes her way back to Cillian. Miller runs through the hallway and stops dead when he spots them, he runs over and brings Clarke and Cillian into a hug.</p><p>‘Thank god you’re here.’</p><p>Clarke stands there dazed and Miller releases them.</p><p>‘Ronaldo is driving all of us mad. Cillian, you’re with me.’ Miller drags Cillian into the lions den, pour soul he has no idea what he’s in for. Miller turns his head back to her and yells.</p><p>‘Clarke, O wants you upstairs.’</p><p>She loses sight of her boyfriend and Miller, so she grabs her make-up bag and rushes upstairs.</p><p>—</p><p>The door opens and Clarke appears, the girls sigh in relief and welcome her in.</p><p>‘O, can you help me get ready’ Clarke asks and she nods following her friend to the vanity table.</p><p>Clarke sits down and starts doing her make up, a minimal rose gold lid and a small black wing to match the rest of the bridesmaids. She stands behind Clarke and starts plaiting her hair into a twisting up-do hairstyle that she’s done for herself, Harper, Maya and now Clarke.</p><p>‘How’s Raven?’ Clarke asks</p><p>‘She’s good, a bit of a nervous wreck. But overall, she’s good.’</p><p>‘How’s Murphy?’</p><p>‘I gave him a glass of scotch, that seemed to calm him down’ She looks at Clarke in the vanity mirror and sees her laugh whilst applying mascara and somehow manages to not mess up her eye make up.</p><p>Octavia finishes Clarkes hair and hooks Clarke’s maid of honour dress on the divider, for her to change behind.</p><p>—</p><p>It’s officially eleven and Jackson knows this because the wedding planner is herding them, like sheep into the entrance way, closing the doors on the room they’ve been setting up for the past hour.</p><p>They all stand in a circle, dressed in their suits and dresses, bar Raven whose still upstairs.</p><p>‘Hello, everyone. Nice to see you all again’ Ronaldo declares to the room</p><p>Miller groans in his ear and he gives his boyfriend a pointed stare.</p><p>‘It’s my second wedding with this group and this time we will not have a runaway bride episode, that costs me my five star reputation on yelp, no offence.’ Ronaldo says turning to Bellamy.</p><p>Wells snorts and Bellamy shifts on his feet and lifts his head, forcing himself to smile ‘None taken’</p><p>Ronaldo turns back to his clipboard and runs through his fifteen point plan of how the ceremony will go and what each of their roles are. He barks at them for twenty minutes straight, uninterrupted, get this man on ‘Just a Minute’. Ronaldo even quizzes them on their roles, and shouts at Miller when he answers his question incorrectly. Eventually, Ronaldo seems happy enough that they all know what they're doing.</p><p>‘Okay’ Ronaldo clasps his hands together ‘Let’s start’</p><p>He opens the doors, and Jackson can see Murphy waiting at the other end of the aisle. All the guest are sitting down waiting. They file into their pairs and walk down the aisle.</p><p>
  <em>—</em>
  
</p><p>Bellamy watches as Madi, Alex and Jordan walk down the aisle together, sprinkling flowers along the floor. Clarke and Miller walk down next, followed by Octavia and Lincoln. When Monty and Harper file down the aisle, that’s his queue to collect Raven.</p><p>He rushes upstairs and knocks on the door. It opens and Raven stands in front of him in a gorgeous white dress.</p><p>‘You look beautiful’ He smiles and extends his arm, she takes it and smiles. </p><p>‘You missed your chance, Blake’ She jokes and he laughs.</p><p>They slowly walk down the stairs and he’s got to hand it to Ronaldo, the timing is perfect. By the time they reach the hallway, the last of the bridesmaids and groomsmen have disappeared and the doors have closed.</p><p>Ronaldo rushes up to Raven and brings her into a tight hug. He releases her and speaks down his headset. ‘The bride is ready’.</p><p>The doors open and the music plays, all eyes shift to Raven. She turns and looks at him.</p><p>‘Let’s get you married’ He whispers into her ear and kisses her temple.</p><p>—</p><p>It’s been a long day, herself and Monty had been up since four in the morning, but the wedding had been beautiful. Raven and Murphy were officially married and they had all filed into the reception room, where the drinks had been flowing and food had been served.</p><p>Murphy and Raven are currently dancing their first dance, they’re wrapped up in each other, slow dancing to the soft tune that plays. Monty wraps his arm around her waist and she rests her cheek on his chest as they watch the happy couple.</p><p>‘What a wedding’ Monty whispers into her ear</p><p>She nods her head and cuddles into her husband's embrace. ‘Reminds me of our wedding’</p><p>‘You’re nauseating, you know that right?’ She turns her head to see Miller scowling at them</p><p>‘Miller you’re at a wedding, embrace it’ She says</p><p>‘No, Blake back me up’ Miller slaps Bellamy’s shoulder, but his gaze is fixed firmly on Cillian whose currently whispering in Clarke’s ear and kissing her cheek at their table across the room.</p><p>‘Green’s not a good colour on you’ Miller says, nudging Bellamy’s shoulder. Bellamy snaps out of his stare and turns back to the table where they all stare at him.</p><p>‘I’m fine.’ He mutters, staring at his plate of food before him, which remains untouched.</p><p>More people stand up to dance and Monty stands up whisking her away, she laughs and walks over to the dance floor, they pass Maya and Jasper and she gives Jasper a smug nod as he dances with Maya. She wraps her arms around her husband’s neck and stares back over at their table, she watches Bellamy whose back to staring at Clarke, who sits at her table next to Octavia. His gaze follows Clarke and Cillian as they walk outside to the gardens. She watches as her old friend looks away from his ex-girlfriend and his head sags as he stares despondently at the food in front of him.</p><p>He looks miserable.</p><p>—</p><p>He sets Madi back down at their table, leaving her preoccupied with Octavia and Lincoln. He places his hand on Clarke’s shoulder and whispers into her ear. She gets up, placing her napkin on her plate and follows him outside. He closes the door behind them and turns to his girlfriend.</p><p>‘Hi’ She smiles and walks into his embrace</p><p>‘Hi’ He states and releases her. He quickly turns to look out at the gardens below</p><p>‘Um, so I’ve wanted to talk to you about this for some time now. But I wasn’t sure if it would actually happen and now…’ He feels himself rambling and her eyes grow with concern and confusion, god this is going to be harder than he thought it would be.</p><p>‘Before I met you I applied for a job, it was a really competitive programme and I didn’t think I would get it, two weeks ago I got a call. I got the job.’</p><p>‘Wow Cillian that’s amazing. I’m so proud of you.’ She leans into his side, beaming up at him.</p><p>‘Yeah, yeah it is.’ Okay rip the bandaid off, Cillian. Rip the bandaid off. He sighs and vomits out the words he’s been holding in for two weeks, so afraid of this exact moment. ‘The jobs in Oxford, I’ve already accepted it. My flight leaves tomorrow’</p><p>She steps back and her mouth falls into a small ‘o’.</p><p>‘I really like you, Clarke. But I’ve wanted this for as long as a I can remember’</p><p>She clears her throat and smiles up at him, her eyes shine. ‘I understand’ She says and gives him a watery smile that makes him look away towards the door.</p><p>‘I’ve got to go, my cars waiting’</p><p>He brings her into a hug, holding her tight. He quickly releases her, moving to the door.</p><p>‘Cillian’ She says and he turns back to look at her ‘you knew this for two weeks?’</p><p>He nods his head and looks down ashamed of himself. He wants to say something but the words don’t form. He opens the door and bumps into a waiter, he dashes out of the hall and flings open the glass doors.</p><p>He rushes down the steps and gets into the taxi waiting for him, feeling his heart break as the car drives away.</p><p>—</p><p>‘What about her’ Wells asks him</p><p>He looks up and shakes his head</p><p>‘Her?’ Miller asks</p><p>He doesn’t even look just shakes his head</p><p>‘Blake, we’re trying to make you happy, so you’re nicer to be around’ Murphy grins at him</p><p>‘Go back to your wife’ He groans and the three of them laugh at him.</p><p>His attention returns to the garden door, Cillian wrenches the door open, bumping into a waiter and then rushes out towards the exit. Clarke appears moments later, looking sad and defeated. She sits back down at her table and tries to make conversation, but she looks as if she want’s to cry.</p><p>‘What about her’ Murphy points at Roma, causing Bellamy to groan.</p><p>The music which was once fast and upbeat, slows down. ‘I Will Take Care of You’ by William Bell plays and he looks back at Clarke, she loves this song. He watches her deflate further as her ears recognise the tune and before he realises it, he’s walking over to her table.</p><p>Octavia stares at him in confusion, but he’s only looking at Clarke.</p><p>‘You wanna dance, princess’ His heart is pounding in his chest and he extends his hand, pleading to god that she’ll take it.</p><p>His heart sours in relief when her small hand falls into his, he pulls her up and they walk hand in hand to the dance floor. He twirls her around and brings her into his embrace, one hand holding her hand and the other placed firmly upon her back, his thumb softly strokes the small of her back. He feels her becoming more at ease, she rests her head against his shoulder and they sway in harmony for the continuation of the song.</p><p>—</p><p>He sits with Wells and Miller, shocked at Bellamy’s bold move. They gawk at Bellamy as he leads Clarke over to the dance floor.</p><p>‘We did that’ He smiles and sits back, lifting his drink, Miller and Wells lift theirs in celebration and they clink glasses.</p><p>Despite, today being the happiest moment of his life, this has to be his highlight of the day, although he won’t tell Raven that. He takes out his phone and snaps a picture of Bellamy and Clarke, because for the first time in almost seven years, they look content in each other’s arms.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Ladies and Gents, This Is The Moment You’ve Waited For</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Eeeekkkk!! </p><p>Here we are, the first part hurt to write.</p><p>There's still so much more to come, so stay tuned. </p><p>Love hearing your thoughts and thank you for reading !!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>She bustles in through the door, finally home. She dumps her bag on the sofa and slowly takes off her shoe, she wanders into the kitchen and stops when she see’s her boyfriend sitting at their small dining table, with dinner already cooked and on the stove.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The gesture makes her heart rate speed up, until the beat throbs in her ear. He’s amazing and she doesn’t deserve him. For the past months she hasn’t been able to be near him, without breaking down into a fit. She’s been trying to distance herself from him, unable to be around him. She can’t even look the man she loves in the eye, because she doesn’t know how anymore. It’s eating her up.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Bell? What’s all of this?’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He walks up to her with a grin upon his face, holding a bouquet of white peonies and pink tulips, her favourite flowers. She smiles and takes the flower bouquet setting it to the side on the table.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He walks over towards her and hands her a bouquet of white peonies, her favourite flowers. He leads her over to the dinner table, where a blue box sits. It looks like jewellery and she sets the flowers down on the table. He pulls out her chair for her and then rushes to sit in front of her.</em>
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  <em>She slowly sits down and stares curiously down at the box</em>
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  <em>‘Open it’ He smiles at her and takes her hand.</em>
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  <em>She pushes the lid back and stares down at the gift before her. She feels like her heart has been pulled out of her chest, she stops breathing and looks up at him. Feeling ever so faint.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She looks back down at the golden bracelet which sits there and reads ‘Head and the Heart’ and next to it lies the pregnancy test she took two months ago, the minute she got back from the hospital.</em>
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  <em>‘I found it when I was taking out the trash, the bag split apart and it fell out. I put it away, wanting you to tell me so I wouldn’t rob you of that, but then you didn’t say anything. So I thought you were scared about how I would react. You’re doing all of this on your own and you don’t have to do that, Princess. Head and the Heart.’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her face falls into her hands and she sits there frozen, she burst into tears as she realises that she’s going to lose Bellamy, a man that loved her so much and all she did was exclude him and push him away. He rushes over to hold her but she flinches and staggers back from her chair.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Princess. I’m not mad, we’re going to have a baby. I know it’s going to be tough but we can do it — ’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I’m not pregnant’ She blurts out and her hands shake by her sides</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He looks at her and confusion washes over his face. ‘It was a false positive?’ He asks</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘No, the test was correct’ She whispers looking down at the floor, unable to meet his eye.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I don’t understand’ and then there’s a moment of silence, the moment he realises what she’s done, the moment she loses him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘You.. you..’ He struggles to get the words out</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I had an abortion’ She says looking at him for the first time since she sat down.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He steps back away from her and shakes his head ‘No…No….’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>They stand in silence, he looks at her as if he doesn’t even know her. His fingers curl into a fist and his jaw clenches</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘You didn’t even tell me’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I didn’t need your permission’ She fires at him, she knows it’s the wrong thing to say and now she’s said it, she can’t take it back and the words hang in the air.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Christ, you never need my permission. This isn’t what this is about. It’s the fact that you didn’t even tell me, you just decided on your own and then hid it from me.’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I was scared’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Well then talk to me’ He cries out ‘That’s what I’m here for. We make decisions together, we could’ve talked it through —</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I didn’t want to talk it through’ She exclaims</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘So you decided to ignore me? Lie to me? Hide from me?’ </em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I had to do it on my own’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘That right there is the problem. I’m your boyfriend, we should’ve talked about it together. I mean god, do I not mean anything to you?’ He yells out</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘You mean everything to me, Bell. I was scared and alone, but I made a decision that was right for me.’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘You weren’t alone.’ He shouts at her and holds up the bracelet ‘I was right here, all you had to do was talk to me, Clarke’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>They’ve had arguments before, petty fights about cleaning, driving, friendships or people at work. They’ve had many arguments before, but he rarely uses her name. She knows it’s stupid to be fixating on such a small thing after what she’s done, but the minute he utters her name she knows she’s lost him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>They’ve had arguments, they’ve hurt each other but god she’s never seen Bellamy like this, the pain on his face makes her so angry with herself. The pain on his face makes her want to scream out.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I was right here… and you… you shut me out.’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I wasn’t ready… I couldn’t do it. I’m only twenty-two, so I used my head’ She says and nods towards the bracelet he’s gripping onto in his hand.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He lobs it at her and she catches it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I wasn’t ready’ She mutters and watches him stare into space.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>They stand in silence and he sits down on the sofa.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘If I hadn’t of found it… would you have told me?’ He looks straight ahead, burning a hole into the wall in front of him and she doesn’t respond, the words want to come out but she can’t move let alone speak.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her boyfriend scoffs and turns to look at her. ‘Do you regret it?’ He asks her but she doesn’t meet his eye. ‘Do you’ He asks again.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I.. I.. I.. ’ She sighs ‘I had to make a decision’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He nods and gets up off the sofa, walking past her to the door, grabbing his coat.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Where are you going’ She asks</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Away from you and this apartment’ He mutters shoving his shoes on.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Bellamy, please don’t go. I need you with me’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘You’ll be fine without me, you’ve been pushing me away for weeks’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Bell’ She rushes over to him and cups his face in her hands. ‘I’m sorry’ she cries out and rests her forehead against his, her hands grip onto his coat.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I don’t even know who you are anymore.’ He mutters staring into her eyes</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Bell…’ She starts moving to hold his hands</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I never thought you would hurt me, like this’ He croaks and moves slightly out of her hold, but she brings her hands up to his cheeks, cupping them. Her hands move into his black curly hair, closing her eyes so she doesn’t have to see the pain in his eyes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She’s clutching onto him so scared that he’ll go.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I’m sorry, Bell. I love you, I love you. I’m so sorry.’ Her fingers stay cupping his cheeks, and his tense stature seems to relax under her touch so she leans forward to kiss him, their lips touch and it breaks the spell, he flinches away from her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘NO’ He shouts out and then lowers his voice ‘I can understand why you didn’t want to have a child. I understand that I do, it’s your body and I would never tell you what you get to do with it. I can’t comprehend what you’ve gone through these past months, but I could’ve been there for you. I’m your boyfriend I should’ve been there with you and I can’t get past that. You didn’t even tell me Clarke. You didn’t involve me in a decision that would revolve around my own child. You took that away from me and I can’t ever forgive you for that’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I love you’ She states and reaches out to hold his hand again.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I thought you did too’ He mutters looking past her, not meeting her eye.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Bell’ She gasps and feels a tear trickles down her face, her hand moves to wipe it away.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I can’t stay here…’ His voice cracks and he coughs to clear his throat. He removes his hand from her grasp and grabs the door handle, wrenching it open and closing it shut behind him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The click of the lock, makes her slump against the closed door. She’s left feeling numb, she looks down at her hand and finds the bracelet in her grip. That's what unleashes everything she's suppressed for the past two months, she cries and sobs on the floor of her lonely apartment. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>—</em>
</p><p>The day is March 5th, Madi’s seventh birthday. Bellamy’s been looking forward to this day for months now, he’s been planning and organising the event. She and Bellamy would take Madi out to the green for a family walk, giving their friends time to set up the house and back garden.</p><p>Madi walks in between her and Bellamy, their seven year old pulls them along towards her favourite spot in the park, the playground. They turn the corner and catch sight of the swings, Madi squeals and runs towards the swing, tugging at them both to follow. Madi tries to hop up onto the swing and Bellamy steps forward to help her but that only spurs Madi to jump up higher onto the seat and eventually manages to sit up, without her fathers help.</p><p>Bellamy resigns and steps back, standing next to her. ‘She doesn’t need me’ He pouts</p><p>She snorts and turns back to watch Madi desperately swinging her small legs forward, trying to copy the kids to her side. Madi’s bottom lip sticks out when she doesn’t get anywhere and turns her head to locate her father.</p><p>‘You sure about that?’ She nudges Bellamy’s shoulder and nods towards their daughter who flutters her blue eyes at him, causing Bellamy to chuckle.</p><p>‘She learnt that from you’ He mutters, but he can’t hide his joy as he runs over too Madi.</p><p>Madi grips onto the rails and soon she’s flying as high as the kids next to her. Clarke’s phone buzzes and she receives a text from O.</p><p>
  <em>We’re all set up, just waiting for you.</em>
</p><p>She shoots O a message back, but they're in no rush. She snaps a picture of Madi soaring high in the air and makes it her lock screen. After a while, Bellamy slows down the swing and Madi hops off rushing towards her, jumping into her arms. She takes Madi's hand and they walk out of the playground, with Bellamy walking by them beaming down at their daughter.</p><p>‘This is the best birthday’ Madi declares, her heart glows at how sweet her baby is.</p><p>They keep walking along the path, until they reach the main road. They cross over the road and keep walking until her street comes into view. They arrive at the front door and Clarke releases Madi’s hand to open the door. </p><p>They walk in and people, burst out from behind counters, sofas, doorways shouting surprise. A confetti canon goes off, blasting multi-coloured bits of glitter and paper everywhere. She finds Jasper behind the damn machine and sends him a death stare at him, moving to pounce on him but she feels a firm hand on her shoulder.</p><p>‘Relax’ Bellamy whispers into her ear</p><p>Madi squeals and people rush forward thrusting presents into the birthday girls arms. Madi’s school friends huddle around her and Octavia somehow manages to herd all the kids out into the garden to play. Her living room is completely transformed and she doesn’t want to look into the garden, she heard O and Raven talking about a bouncy castle.</p><p>O hands her a glass of white wine and she moans in appreciation as she takes a sip. O stares at her whilst she drinks and she quirks her head at her friend.</p><p>‘What?’ She asks</p><p>‘I’m living vicariously through you, it looks so good.’ O whines, Lincoln comes up behind her and wraps his arms around her pregnant belly.</p><p>‘Two months to go’ He states and O nods her head, but still looks longingly at her glass of wine.</p><p>‘Have you thought of a name’ She asks continuing to sip her wine.</p><p>‘Sophia’ Octavia smiles at her ‘after Lincoln’s grandmother’</p><p>The party continues in full swing, food is served, kids rush in and out of the house, at one point a clown emerges into the kitchen scaring the life out of her, Madi opens up most of her present and Clarke records a list so she can make her write out thank you cards later and then it’s time to blow out the birthday candles on the cake.</p><p>Bellamy ushers the kids inside, and stands Madi up on a chair by the dining table so she can easily blow out the candles. Clarke rushes into the kitchen to find Murphy and Raven lighting the cake.</p><p>‘Thank you so much, for making this. I owe you big time’ She says to Murphy who brushes her off.</p><p>‘Please, it was my pleasure. But I will cash in on you owing me something’ He pops a bit of icing into his mouth and she rolls her eyes at him.</p><p>She picks up the cake, with the six lit birthday candles upon it and slowly walks towards her daughter, joining in singing her baby happy birthday</p><p>Madi closes her eyes and crosses her fingers, wishing under her breath and then leans forward to blow out her candles.</p><p>‘What did you wish for?’ Alex asks</p><p>‘I can’t tell you or else it won’t come true’ Madi retorts, sticking out her tongue.</p><p>Clarke instantly steps into mother mode and starts cutting up slices of cake, sharing it around on paper plates for the kids. The kids run back outside, carrying their plates.</p><p>She mills around and talks to her friends that wander through the house, at around five pm parents start to arrive to pick up their kids and by six all the children have been picked up. Octavia, Alex and Lincoln head off and Jasper tries to hide behind Lincoln to leave quickly. She catches him by the door and shoves a vacuum at him, pointing to the crap confetti he left all over her floor.</p><p>‘Clean’ She orders and he defeatedly walks over to the living area and turns the vacuum on, Maya laughs and walks over to him, kissing his lips.</p><p>Their friends help tidy up and pack up and eventually her house is cleaner than it every has been. They all file out of the house and get into their cars along the street, driving away. She waits by the door and waving them goodbye until the last car drives up the road.</p><p>She closes the door and slumps against it exhausted. Madi walks tiredly up to her and she pulls her into a hug.</p><p>Bellamy walks over and crouches down to Madi’s level.</p><p>‘Alright, kiddo. Time for bed’ He smiles and kisses Madi’s forehead. Madi tiredly wraps her arms around her fathers neck and he picks her up carrying her to bed. She follows him up the stairs and she quickly gets Madi dressed into her pyjamas.</p><p>Clarke tucks her into bed and Bellamy whispers Mads goodnight before walking towards the door, leaning against the door frame.</p><p>'Happy Birthday, baby' She whispers against her daughters temple and kisses her cheek goodnight. </p><p>Clarke turns the bedside light on and walks over to where Bellamy stands, she slowly closes the door, leaving it ajar for light to shine through and they both creep down the stairs. Collapsing on the sofa next to one another, exhausted from the day.</p><p>—</p><p>Madi turns on to her side and looks at the light coming from outside her room, she watches her parents creep down the stairs and crosses her fingers again, in the hope that her birthday wish will come true. That her mum and dad will be together just like they are in Aunty O’s stories.</p><p>A smile appears upon the little girls face and she closes her eyes, falling into a hopeful sleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Torn</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Clarke and Bellamy have a much needed talk</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>She slams the door behind her and drops her bag on the floor, Bellamy kicks off his shoes and marches over to the kitchen, wrenching open the fridge and taking out a bottle of beer.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Are you proud of yourself’ She hisses at him</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘To what are you referring, princess’ He smirks, taking a sip of his beer</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I can’t talk to you when you’re like this’ She says and walks into their bedroom and sits down on her side of the bed, slowly taking off her jewellery. She hears him approach leaning against the doorframe, glaring at her. She feels suffocated and exhausted by this bullshit relationship.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘When I’m like what, Clarke?’</em>
</p><p><em>‘You’re a mess and an embarrassment Bellamy’ She says, the words hang in the air, he grabs the bedroom door and slams it shut, she’s left alone in her room. Her head falls into her hand, she wipes away a quick tear and walks into the bathroom.</em> </p><p>
  <em>She unties her hair from its taught ponytail and stares at herself in the mirror, she looks tired and wrecked. She hears a crash and a shout from outside and she rushes out of the bathroom, opening the bedroom door, to find glass shards and beer in front of her. She looks at the bedroom door covered in beer stains and stares at her boyfriend slumped on the floor. He threw it at the door.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘What is wrong with you’ She shrieks ‘What is fucking wrong with you!’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She steps over the glass shards and walks over to the kitchen to find a dust pan and brush, she returns to the pile and starts sweeping up the mess in front of her. She’s positive she’s got most of the glass and then dumps it in the trash.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She returns to find him in the same position, head in his hands.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Bell’ She says and he looks up at her, he looks miserable.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘If I’m such a mess, it’s only because of you.’ He states staring up at her ‘I don’t know why we’re still doing this shit. We’ve been doing this for a year. A <strong>year</strong> of this fucking shit and your constant lies.’ He yells out and drags a hand through his hair, his eyes brim with tears.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I’ve never lied to you, Bellamy.’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I don’t care anymore’ He screams ‘I can’t keep having this same damn conversation.’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘You think I enjoy this. Every time you look at me you recoil, every time we have sex you can’t even look at me.’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I don’t know why I came back’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘You came back, because we love each other’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He scoffs and looks at her ‘Do we? This doesn’t feel like love anymore’ His voice lowers and sadness pours out.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She steps back and her back hits the wall behind her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘This isn’t working, because you’ve been so distant. You’ve been pushing me away, you don’t trust me’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘How could I?’ He scoffs ‘After all of this, how could I?’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Well at least I’ve tried’ She says, walking into the kitchen to grab herself a glass of water.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘How have you tried, Clarke? I didn’t see you bothering to include me in a life changing decision.’ He shouts following her into the kitchen.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The stand glaring at each other, separated by the kitchen counter</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘So tonight, when we went to O’s baby shower you weren’t ignoring me the minute we stepped through the door? You were just chatting to your ex girlfriend for the fun of it?’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He laughs in her face ‘Roma, seriously. What does Roma have to do with any of this?' </em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘You were flirting with her’</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <span class="Apple-converted-space">'You’re angry with me because I talked to Roma’ </span> </em>
</p><p>
  <em>'Flirted with Roma' </em>
</p><p>
  <em>'I didn't flirt with my ex-girlfriend’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Yes. You. Did’ </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She watches him start shaking his head, they've become so childish and petulant. They can't have a civil grown up conversation anymore.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I wouldn’t be surprised if you did cheat on me. I never see you anymore. You come home at god knows what time, recently you’ve been sleeping on the sofa. If this relationship is over, it’s because of you.’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘This relationship was over long before that... This isn't a relationship anymore, I don't know what this is.' </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She continues to jab at him, firing words she would never want to say to him, she would never ever dream of hurting him. But they’ve crossed the line, where they no longer know when to stop, when enough is enough.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He use the bracelet to rile her up and she automatically gets on the defensive. Their interactions aren’t healthy anymore.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But sadly they manage to put on a united front in the presence of their friends. Their friends don’t know a thing, Bellamy hasn’t even told Octavia. It’s the one thing they remain in sync on, putting on a united facade, pretending that everything’s amazing when it's not. She’ll even forget the pain and anger that remains between them and move to touch him or stroke his arm, because she’s so caught up in the facade, but then he’ll flinch away from her touch and reality comes crashing back in.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Their united front is a sham, they almost broke into an argument at O’s baby shower. Murphy made a passing comment about how Bellamy and her would be the next in the group to have a child. She watched Bellamy’s face screw up, wincing in pain an expression she's so used to seeing in the past year it doesn't even shock her anymore.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>In that moment the facade fell apart and Bellamy sneered. ‘I wouldn’t count on it.’ The words still ring around in her head. Raven and Octavia had called him up on his comment thinking it was a joke, causing him to utter his final words before he stormed out of O’s apartment. ‘If my girlfriend’s pregnant, I would be the last to know about it.’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Their facade had fallen to pieces and she had chased him out to the car.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She looks at the man in front of her, so hurt, so lost. It pains her to see him this way, he’s so angry all the time, he’s forgotten what it’s like to be happy. She closes her eyes and turns away from him, walking with the intention of taking a nap, but he says something that stops her in her tracks.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘You’re right’ She turns back to look at the man she loves ‘I did cheat on you’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She thought her heart was already in pieces, well she was wrong. It was the last straw that broke the camels back she races into her bedroom and starts heaving clothes out of their wardrobe. She locks the door behind her and slumps onto the bed, crying herself to sleep.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>They're done, there's no coming back from this.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>—</em>
</p><p>Clarke collapses next to him. They both sigh and he reaches over to turn on the TV, finding some mind numbing show to have on in the background.</p><p>‘Today went well’ She yawns and holds his hand</p><p>‘It went really well’ He replies and squeezes her hand back. </p><p>They sit in silence, staring at the TV. Clarke turns her head and looks at him, he shifts his head to look at her and quirks his eyebrow up at her.</p><p>‘What you thinking about’ He smiles at her</p><p>‘I’m just really happy your Madi’s dad’ She sighs and curls herself into his side.</p><p>‘Me too’</p><p>They continue to watch the television, eventually the time the crappy movie ends which he hasn’t been paying attention to at all, too busy thinking about Clarke resting her head on his chest.</p><p>‘How’s Cillian’ He asks</p><p>‘How’s Echo’ She responds and yeah he deserved that</p><p>‘Seriously, what happened to you guys. Everyone said you guys were perfect together’</p><p>She sighs and sits back up, moving out of his hold. ‘He got a job in Oxford and we were only together for six months so he took it, left after Raven and Murphy’s wedding and we weren’t perfect together.’ She says nudging his shoulder</p><p>‘I’m sorry, Clarke’ He says and he means it sincerely</p><p>‘It’s fine it happened two months ago.’</p><p>Silence surrounds them again, but Clarke breaks the silence this time.</p><p>‘You haven’t spoken about Echo.’</p><p>He grunts and reaches for the remote to find something else to watch, Clarke gently takes the remote out of his hands and sets it back down on the table.</p><p>‘Not much to say’ He sighs</p><p>‘You were together for five years’ She states cocking her head at him</p><p>He wants to correct on that, but opts for a stupid joke instead. ‘Hmmm, the expiration date of all my relationships’ As always his “joke” lands poorly and Clarke’s face falls.</p><p>‘We were together for six years’ She points out</p><p>‘I don’t count the last year… it wasn’t us by that point’</p><p>‘We still haven’t talked about it’ She states and he nods his head in agreement.</p><p>Clarke crosses her legs and turns to look at him</p><p>‘I want to apologise, I know I already have but at the time I was so defensive and I wanted to believe that I did the right thing. —’</p><p>‘Clarke you don’t have to do this’ He starts</p><p>‘No, Bell we always do this. One of us starts to apologise and we brush it off and pretend that we don’t need to talk about this, but we do. We have to in order to move on, in order to forgive —’</p><p>He takes her hand, interrupting her and looks into her blue eyes. ‘If you need forgiveness, I’ll give that too you, you’re forgiven’</p><p>‘I need to say this’ She squeezes his hand ‘I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you the minute I found out, I’m sorry I pushed you away, I’m sorry I made a decision about our child without even talking to you about it. I know you would have never pushed me to make a decision that I wouldn’t have been happy with and I should have put more trust in you. I handled it terribly and part of me regrets my decision but then a year later I had Mads and it never crossed my mind to not have my baby. I’m sorry I didn’t properly try and reach out to tell you about her when she was born. You just didn’t respond to my letter and I was heart broken so I moved on…. I’m sorry Bell’</p><p>He watches her sigh, her hands slowly shake and she quickly wipes a tear away from her eye. She looks so much lighter for having said all of that and she’s right he needed to hear it.</p><p>'I never got your letter' He says stroking her cheek, to wipe away the wetness on her cheek. 'I.. I wish I had, but it never came' </p><p>She nods her head and looks down at her hands folded in her lap, he breathes in and speaks because she needs to hear this.</p><p>‘I’m sorry that I pushed you away, that I lied about cheating on you. I didn’t think it through and it was such a crappy thing to do.’ She chuckles slightly and nods her head. ‘I’m sorry for how I acted in the last year of our relationship, dangling that bracelet in front of you dredging up memories that you needed to move past. I didn’t want you to let you move on when I didn’t know how, I couldn’t even process what had happened.’ He smiles sadly at her and breathes into continue.</p><p>‘On the day you left you asked me why I kept this.’ He pulls out the bracelet from his coat pocket and she looks up at him, confused and the defensive glimmer in her eyes shines, but he holds her hand to reassure her that his intent isn't nasty, not this time. He's letting go. ‘I… I knew we were done and even though it didn’t hold the best memories of us, I felt like I still had a part of you. That I would always have you with me, so I kept it in my coat pocket to fiddle with when I was feeling low, it made me happier.’</p><p>She lunges over at him and wraps her arms around him, hugging him tightly and he returns her hug, stroking her back and burying his head into her shoulder. ‘I’m really sorry, princess’ He mumbles into her neck and he releases her, so she shifts into his side.</p><p>‘It’s okay’ She whispers into his chest</p><p>He feels ten pounds lighter, having released six years of emotional baggage. He feels finally at peace. They remain like that for a long time until he looks at the time and slowly sits up.</p><p>‘I should go’ He mutters and gets off the couch, shaking out the pillow he lay on.</p><p>‘I’ll walk you out’ Clarke coughs, clearing her throat</p><p>He smiles and walks over to the door, collecting his coat and puts his shoes on. He opens the door and stands looking back at Clarke, she walks into his arms and gives him another hug. They pull back only slightly and he stares down at her, looking at her lips.</p><p>They edge closer and closer together only a movement away from kissing her. He stares into her deep blue eyes, twinkling under the starlight.</p><p>‘I don’t think this is the best idea’ He whispers, but doesn’t move away</p><p>‘Probably not’ She says and leans forward ever so slightly.</p><p>Doubt forces him to pull back, he coughs and scratches the back of his neck. Clarke lowers her head and steps back, smiling sadly at the floor.</p><p>‘Night, Princess’ He says and kisses her forehead, he lingers for a moment before turning and walking out to his car. She stands on her doorstep until he’s reversed out of her driveway. The lights of the house turn off and he sighs, pulling out onto the main road, driving home.</p><p>He pulls up at his apartment block and slowly gets out of his car, he walks up the several flights of stairs before putting his key in the door.</p><p>The door opens and he steps inside, closing the door and securing the latch.</p><p>He switches the lights on and stares at the person in front of him.</p><p>‘Hi Bell’</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Bright Side of the Road</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for sticking with this story. We have one more chapter to go, but after this no more secrets !!</p><p>Enjoy and I know lots of you are going to hate a certain someone after reading this. </p><p>See you on Wednesday for the final chapter !!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He scoffs at the woman in front of him, over a year she’s been gone and now, now she appears. He drops his keys in the bowl and shuts the door walking straight past her to reach the fridge.</p><p>‘What do you want?’ He mumbles, popping open the cap on his beer.</p><p>‘I wanted to see you’ She fidgets standing awkwardly in the middle of what was once her home. ‘I like what you’ve done with the place’</p><p>She smiles looking round the apartment, but he ignores her comment and her shoulders slump slightly and she moves forward to the kitchen counter, sitting down at the bar store looking at him solemnly. Her hands grip onto her handbag, she looks like she wants to disappear.</p><p>‘How are you?’ She asks and she seems sincere, which throws him off.</p><p>‘I’m good’ He says with a suspicious tilt in his voice. Again, she looks away from him. Not wanting to make eye contact with him.</p><p>‘How’s Roan’ He asks, sipping at his beer.</p><p>‘Good, he’s good’ She winces</p><p>‘You never told me that you two had dated, long before I showed up.’</p><p>‘You can’t talk, Bellamy. You never said anything about Clarke’</p><p>‘Why are you here, Echo’ He sighs and stands back resting his back against the cabinets behind him, staring her down while he sips on his beer, which he proudly managed to steal from Miller.</p><p>‘I was clearing out some of the storage boxes you sent me.’</p><p>‘If you’re saying I stole something, I didn’t. All of your stuff is there. I sent those to you the minute you got back from the Maldives.’</p><p>‘I know, I’m not accusing you of anything.’ Again not meeting his eye, very unlike her. Always an upfront and confrontational woman, never shy to back down from an argument.</p><p>He waits for her to continue, not quite sure where this conversation is going.</p><p>‘I… I’ She sighs and swallows, fidgeting with her hand bag</p><p>‘Just say it.’</p><p>‘You’re going to hate me’ She mutters staring intently at the kitchen counter</p><p>'Tell me and then I’ll decide’ He grits out and sets his beer down on the counter.</p><p>‘I was clearing out some of the storage boxes you sent me and I found this’ She states and pulls out an old worn envelope addressed to him.</p><p>He slowly extends his arm and reaches for the letter, which she gives to him.</p><p>It’s Clarke’s handwriting.</p><p>—</p><p>
  <em>‘You wanna get out of here?’ Her heart pounds as she utters those six little words that usually causes any man, single or taken to crumble at her feet. She’s very used to getting her way and no surprise the man in front of her took the bait and sighed leading her down the street to his apartment.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>They walked in silence, she initially went to hold his hand but he flinched and moved his hand into his pocket. So she looped her arm in his and they walked for ten minutes until they arrived at his apartment.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He pulled out his key to the outside entrance of the block, but then he faltered and his hand drops back to his side.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Sorry…’ He steps away from her and collapses onto the step outside his apartment block. ‘God, I can’t do this’ He laughs and holds his head in his hands.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I broke up with my girlfriend today.’ His voice is filled with pain as he stares at the floor.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She sits down next to him ‘Is this the Clarke your friend mentioned?’ She asks nudging his shoulder and he nods his head.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He peers up at her and smiles so sadly. ‘Yep’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘So she’s not no one’ She says repeating his statement from earlier and he scoffs</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘No she’s not no one. She was… She was my person.’ He croaks out and a tear falls down his face. ‘She was my person and I let her go’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He wipes away a tear and breathes in deeply ‘I’m sorry for ruining your evening’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘You haven’t ruined a thing’ She smiles at him</em>
</p><p>
  <em>They sit in silence, a couple passes caught in that honeymoon bliss, giggling at each other and the girls wrapped up in her boyfriend’s arms. She smiles at them as they pass, they look really happy. It reminds her of her and Roan, a fiery relationship from beginning to end, but god was she happy.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She coughs and breathe in deeply to forget… forget the pain that Roan’s left her with. She turns to look at the man next to her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She pulls out her phone and opens her contacts and passes her phone to him</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Put your number in’ He looks at her strangely and starts to back track, thinking she wants a date later on, which she does, but she’s willing to play the long game.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘No. No I…’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘You need a friend’ She interjects before he can run away with the idea of completely shutting her down, she needs to leave the door slightly ajar.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>His face instantly relaxes and he smiles up at her. ‘Thanks’ He takes her phone and puts his number in, passing it back to her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Bellamy Blake. Nice alliteration’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He chuckles at that, which makes a part of her beam at the fact that she managed to make him laugh.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I’m Echo’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He nods and smiles sadly next to her</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Nice to meet you’ He manages to laugh, it’s more of a scoff but it’s a laugh to hide the pain that’s festering within him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘If it makes you feel any better. I’m also quite new to heart break’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He hums next to her ‘How’s that going for you’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Shit’ She sighs and they laugh briefly. ‘It’s shit’ and she kicks at a pebble by her shoe.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘How long ago did things end?’ He asks her staring out at the darkened road before them</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘About two months now. He ended it.’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Bellamy winces and nudges her shoulder, it soothes her slightly.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Do you think it will get any better?’ He asks her, turning to look at her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘It has too.’ She laughs and wipes away the few tears that fall down her face. ‘At the start it hurts, it really fucking hurts, you miss them and everything you do reminds you of them, but after a while it gets easier and you move on… but now we have each other. Two heartbroken emotional unavailable people, who are going to get through this together.’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He takes her hand and squeezes it and she smiles in return, kissing his cheek.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Thank you’ He whispers wrapping his arm around her shoulder, bringing her into a hug.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He releases her from his embrace and they turn to look at the road and high-street in front of them. She rests her head on his shoulder and he doesn’t move away. They sit together and watch the lights of shops turn off, people rushing home even though it’s practically the new day.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She feels his shoulders tense and his chest constricts, he’s holding onto so much anger, but she doesn’t know whether it’s directed at Clarke or himself.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘It was like one day we were us and the next day we weren’t and now I can’t remember what we were like before, the good days I can’t remember them.’ He shoves his hands into his pocket and she swears she hears the sound of jewellery or metal, the soft clinking sound…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I get that’ She whispers because that’s exactly how she feels about Roan, she can’t remember the last good moment they had.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Bellamy sucks in a breath and she takes that as her cue to lift her head off his shoulder, she tucks a strand of her brunette locks behind her ear and slowly shifts to get up off the cold, brick step.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I’ll see you around, Bellamy Blake’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And she did. She texted Bellamy the next day and they start morning rituals of going to get coffee before work, which turned into meeting up for lunch. Going for jogs on the weekend and going to M&amp;G’s in the evening.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Bellamy became her friend and for a moment she thought that was enough, but her feelings for him grew. Seeing him became the highlight of her day, making him laugh or smile was something she wanted to be able to do, just her no one else. He became her best friend, but she wanted more from him, she wanted so much more.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She remembers an evening when they were lounging on his couch, watching The Office. She was lying on his chest and almost drifted off into sleep, Bellamy slowly shifted her off his chest and brought a blanket to cover her, she pretended to continue sleeping and heard him sneak off into the kitchen.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He’d been gone a while, when she had gotten up to go find him. She found him slumped in the corner of the kitchen, with his head in his hands. She had sat next to him and he had burst into a fit of tears. It was just like she had said, the first time they met, ‘everything you do reminds you of them.’ She held him close and stroked his hair, trying to soothe him and calm him. But the tears continued to fall and it was that day that she vowed he wouldn’t feel like this anymore. That she would have to keep his mind off of her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Two months into their little arrangement, he was away on a business trip and asked her to wait for a delivery he was expecting. He gave her a key and she made herself at home.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The doorbell rang and she opened it taking a hefty box, signing it off and closing the door. She placed the box on his kitchen counter and turned back to the door mat where letters laid strewn out on the floor, all appearing to be bills. She flicked through them, finding some magazine subscriptions within them and then she found an envelope, handwritten.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>So sue her she was nosy and opened it and thank god she did.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She left his apartment that day with an envelope shoved to the bottom of her back and a smug smile on her face.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She was so close to making Bellamy completely forget about Clarke and that letter would take him back to her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And he did, seven months later. It was a few days into March, she can’t remember the exact date, perhaps it was March 5th? She had taken him to her office party, she had practically begged him to come with her because she knew Roan would be there. As they danced, she knew she could fall for him, but Roan staring at her from across the dance floor made her question everything. It made her want to give Bellamy the letter, push him back towards Clarke. So she could fling her arms around the man she had loved, the man that had broken her heart.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But the moment died, when Roan started dancing with some blonde floosey.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She concentrated on the man she was dancing with, she focused on Bellamy. They had quite a few drinks, tumbling into her apartment and rushing into her bedroom as to not disturb her roommate. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>They collapsed on her bed, lying back and staring up at the ceiling.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Do you believe in soulmates?’ He had asked her and to tell the truth she does, with her whole heart. The minute he had asked her, she thought of Roan and she assumes Bellamy is probably thinking about Clarke. But they both need to move on.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘No’ She lied</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Same’ He sighed and turned his head to look at her, the minute he looked at her she knew he was lying. She knew he was thinking about Clarke, so she moved closer to give him something else to think about.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She straddled his waist and lowered her head until their lips were a fraction apart.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She still remembers the pain on his face as he realised what she was about to do, but before she could pull away he leant up gently to connect their lips and she was finally kissing Bellamy Blake.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He was hers.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>—</em>
</p><p>‘You… You took this’ He stares at her</p><p>‘I did’</p><p>‘When’ He manages to grit out</p><p>‘Two months after I had met you’</p><p>‘Christ’ He whispers and steps back appalled by her ‘We weren’t… We were friends’ He states</p><p>‘I know’</p><p>‘Why would you do this’</p><p>‘I wanted you’</p><p>‘You wanted me’ He scoffs ‘You knew I had a child and you kept that from me. You knew how much having a child would have meant for me, but you hid it because you wanted me?’</p><p>‘I didn’t want to tell you because I knew you would go back to her. I was protecting you, I —‘</p><p>‘That wasn’t your decision to make’ He states and clutches onto the letter in his hand. ‘You were my friend long before you were my girlfriend and I trusted you.’</p><p>‘Get out’ He states and nods towards the door.</p><p>‘Bellamy’ She reaches towards him across the counter ‘I am so sorry, if I could go back. I wouldn’t have done it.’</p><p>‘You had every opportunity to tell me, but you didn’t. Leave my key on the table and get out.’</p><p>She sets down her key to his apartment and moves to get off the stool but stops looking back at him.</p><p>‘Do you hate me?’ She asks.</p><p>‘That’s… that’s not fair, you can’t ask me that’ He croaks out</p><p>She nods her head and whimpers out an apology ‘I’m sorry’ She reaches out to touch his arm but he steps back out of her reach.</p><p>Tears fill up in his eyes and he blinks them away, holding the letter tightly to his chest.</p><p>‘You should go’ He states, nodding towards the door.</p><p>She walks towards the front door.</p><p>‘Echo’ He calls out and she immediately turns to look at him, shame filling her face. ‘Thank you for giving this to me’</p><p>‘I hope you have a happy life, Bell. A happier one then I tried to give you’ She smiles sadly and walks out of his apartment.</p><p>He looks down at the letter in front of him and reads the letter for the second time sitting down on the sofa.</p><p>
  <em>Bellamy,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It’s been about two months since I last saw you, Wells tells me you’re great and I’m glad, glad your back to being you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I miss you. I know I shouldn’t, I really don’t want to miss you but I do. I miss you so much.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’ve been staying with my parents for the past month and a bit, I’m moving away soon depending on how this goes. Being away has given me perspective, I found out some news recently…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I know you cheated, that will always hurt. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to shake that, but I want to try.</em>
</p><p>His thumb strokes the paper, that has been wrinkled and crumbled. Under the words she wrote, he can see a damp spot, a tear drop still present after all these years. He winces at the reminder of the stupid lie he told her, god what was he thinking. He should’ve just walked out… but he didn’t know how to leave her, so he let her do it instead.</p><p>He continues reading</p><p><em>I want to try and move past it, because right now I don’t have a choice. Leaving </em> <em>our</em> <em> your apartment I never thought I would see you again, but now… god… I’m tied to you forever. It’s like some God wants to keep us together.</em></p><p>
  <em>I suppose I should just come out and say it… I’m pregnant. Surprise!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m sorry that I don’t have the guts to show up at your apartment and say this, I still can’t face you. Hence why I am writing you a letter.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I know what kind of man you are Bellamy, I know that you would never desert your child and I hope that you can move past what I did, but I’m not the only person that fucked up. You are not innocent either.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I want to assure you and say that when I found out, the thought of terminating my pregnancy never crossed my mind. This time, this time it’s different, I want to have our baby. I want to have this child. I can do this, with or without your help.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But god I really would like your help.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I know that if I do return, we can’t return to what we had instantly. We can’t be together for a long time, there’s still too much wreckage surrounding us. But one day I hope we can…. get there.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I miss you, Bell.</em>
</p><p>He flips onto the next page and his heart stops, momentarily, when he sees the picture she’s attached with a safety clip. It’s Madi’s Ultrasound</p><p>
  <em>I’m about 8 weeks pregnant here, that’s our baby! I have a list of baby names in mind, but I want your help. I know for certain what their middle name will be if it’s a boy: Jake and a girl: Aurora.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I hope it’s a girl, because I know you’ve always wanted a girl.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m at my parents, I hope we talk. But if you don’t want to talk… I’m taking a job out of town, a long way away. I can’t stay here if I can still see the hate in your eyes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I hope you do respond, but if not I’ll try to understand. Try to understand this decision you’ve made.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>If this is goodbye, I just want to say thank you. I hope you find peace and closure, Bellamy. I hope you find someone that makes you happy.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>If not then I’ll see you soon.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Even though there’s a part of me that is still so hurt by you. I will always love you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Clarke </em>
</p><p>His heart burns, he could've had a life with Madi sooner, he could've mended things with Clarke earlier. He sits and rereads the last sentences over and over again, until he's resolute in what he has to do. Jumping off his sofa he sprints for the door, grabbing his coat and keys slamming the door behind him.</p><p>—</p><p>She wakes up to banging at her front door and the doorbell going berserk. She’s going to kill whoever’s behind that door. She emerges from her room and finds Madi peeking her head out of her door.</p><p>‘Go back to bed, sweetheart. It’s probably just someone who has the wrong address’ She grits her teeth and clenches her fists. Madi nods her head and starts to head into her room. She rushes downstairs and catches a glimpse of her reflection in the hallway mirror, all she’s wearing is her ACDC shirt which became her night shirt, she would worry that it’s too revealing but it’s a mans XL, because that’s all Bellamy could find at their concert, it’s practically a dress.</p><p>The lunatic continues to bang on her door and she wrenches the door open.</p><p>‘What?’ She shouts expecting some idiot to be standing there, but her expression shifts when she finds Bellamy standing in front of her.</p><p>‘I love you’ He pants out ‘I’ve loved you for six years and even when you were gone, I.. I couldn’t stop loving you, Clarke. You are my person, princess and I want to be with you and only you.’</p><p>She gawks at him, she was expecting some idiot teenager not this. Not Bellamy.</p><p>‘What do you say princess, you and me?’ He holds out his hand</p><p>She flings her arms around his neck, jumping into his arms. His hands catch her, like they always used to.</p><p>‘I love you too’ She whispers smiling against his mouth</p><p>She cups his jaw and closes the distance between them and Bellamy responds by tightening his hold around her. The kiss was hungry and passionate, expressing all the sadness and longing that had built up since she crashed back into Arcadia. Her hands run into his hair, playing with his curly hair which she’s missed far too much. They break apart, gasping for breath and staring lovingly into each other’s eyes.</p><p>He sets her down and her back is pressed against her front door’s frame. He towers over her, smiling down at her. He tucks a strand of hair, that’s most definitely fallen loose out of her top bun, behind her ear and lowers his head to press another kiss to her lips, this time soft and intimate.</p><p>The stand in the doorway and the cold air sweeps in around them, causing her too shiver. Bellamy instantly sense this and moves her to the side in order to close the front door.</p><p>He smiles at her and looks down at her top, causing him smirk in that annoying Blake way.</p><p>‘I like your top’ He whispers into her ear, moving his hands lower down her frame to pull her back into his embrace</p><p>‘I bet you do’ She retorts</p><p>He pulls her forward, wrapping his thick arms around her waist. He rests his forehead against hers and hums smirking down at her, because after all these years she couldn’t get rid of it. He leans in again to touch her lips, but steps back and his hands delve into his coat pocket and brings out her golden bracelet.</p><p>‘The head and the heart’ He smiles without any malice or bitterness, she stretches out her hand and he puts the bracelet on.</p><p>‘It’s beautiful’ She whispers and brings him into a long hug.</p><p>—</p><p>At the top of the stairs, Madi peeks over the bannister and smiles down at her parents. She slowly creeps back into her room and hurries back into bed. Her smile remains on her face as she tucks herself into her duvet, as wishes really do come true.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Days Like This</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>AHHH, so we are finally here at the finish line.</p><p>I can't tell you how much I have enjoyed writing this story. It took me a while to figure out how to end this story, I initially had an ending I was going to post on Wednesday, but it just didn't feel right. So here I am on Saturday happy to post this with a good, long ending. </p><p>So here we are the final chapter of I thought the worst was behind us!!</p><p>If you haven't already check out my other story, which is based upon the story line of When Harry Met Sally because I absolutely adore that movie. If you've read that story, then you won't be surprised to see the same song cropping up near the end. I bloody love 'Days Like This' by Van Morrison and I just had to incorporate it into this ending, the lyrics just seemed to match this story.</p><p>Thank you all so much for reading and commenting, hope you enjoy the last chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Her legs were wrapped around Bellamy, and now their straddling his waist on the sofa as she makes out with her boyfriend. She suppose’s he’s her boyfriend now, the label just doesn’t seem right, they’ve known each other for over two decades, they’ve been together for six years. He feels like more than just her boyfriend, which is such a stupid thing to be thinking about right now, while his hands are running up and down her thigh, just like they used to, with his other hand cupping her cheek and her hands planted firmly on his chest.</p><p>She can’t quite comprehend what’s happened in the space of thirty minutes, I mean she was asleep and now she’s not, she’s very much not asleep.</p><p>So she giggles, initially it's just a little chuckle which Bellamy quirks his head at her, before turning her chuckle into a moan. But then she can’t stop laughing, separating their lips she looks down at Bellamy whose lips are all puffy and pink and his eyes are confused. So she starts cackling and she knows she shouldn’t but then she’s laughing so much she can’t breathe. She moves off of him and falls into a ball on the floor, laughing her literal arse off whilst her “boyfriend” looks down at her in absolute bewilderment which only makes her laugh more.</p><p>She really wants to stop, she really wants to stop laughing and she gets to the point where her breathing has slightly recovered so she starts to move towards him and he yanks her into her hold tickling the shit out of her.</p><p>So she squeals and shifts, itching to move back onto the floor. She knows she’s probably a flailing mess of arms and legs, she’s gasping for breathe and he won’t let up.</p><p>‘Bell… Stop.. Oh my god.’ She cackles as his hands reach her feet and she squeals jumping off his lap, collapsing next to him on the sofa.</p><p>‘Only you could start laughing in the middle of a make out session’</p><p>Which only prompts her to laugh more, because this 32 year old man should not be uttering the words ‘make out session’. Her non-existent abs are shaking, Bellamy leans over her, adjusting her position on the sofa so she’s laid out and kneels over her, bending down to peck at her lips. His eyes bore into hers and she feels so bloody loved, she didn’t think it was possible.</p><p>‘What’s the time?’ He whispers against her lips</p><p>She shifts her head to the side and sees that it’s 11pm, but it’s now Saturday so she couldn’t care less what the time is.</p><p>‘11pm’ She smirks, poking at his hip bone which always used to cause him to squirm and she’s happy to report it creates the same reaction.</p><p>‘What’s your opinion on a certain child’s bed time?’ He asks, smirking down at her.</p><p>‘Ummm, well for Mads she should be asleep by 7:30, 8 latest on weekdays’ She says, but god she’s confused what the hell is he on about.</p><p>‘What about weekends?’</p><p>‘It can be later’ She whispers</p><p>‘Great’ Bellamy hops off her, shoving his jacket coat on and picking up his car keys.</p><p>‘Where are you going’ She whines leaning forward, missing his body weight on top of her.</p><p>‘Upstairs’ He smirks and rushes upstairs, she sighs and slumps back down on the sofa crossing her arms because she has no idea what he’s up to.</p><p>She hears his footsteps rushing back down the stairs and turns to see him holding Madi in his arms, whose wide awake.</p><p>‘Bellamy’ She hisses moving to take Madi out of his arms and back up to bed.</p><p>‘Nuh uh’ He states, stepping away from her. He sets Madi down on the steps, giving their daughter her coat and shoes. Which Madi quickly puts on, Madi beams up at her with a bright smile on her face. </p><p>‘Bellamy, she should be in bed’ She states, pouting like a child at the man in front of her</p><p>‘It’s still her birthday’ He says bending down to pick Madi back up into his hold, Madi rests her head upon her father’s shoulder.</p><p>‘Put your coat on’ He opens the door and walks out towards his car, setting Madi in the back seat and he hops into the drivers side. She scrams to shove her feet into her boots and shoves her coat on, she can see Madi giggling at her from the car, so she rolls her eyes and grabs the house keys, turning off the lights in the front room and closing the door shut behind her.</p><p>She rushes over to the passenger side hopping in and buckling her seat belt on. The minute her car door closes, Bellamy puts his foot on the gas pedal and they’re off, to god knows where.</p><p>‘Daddy, where are we going?’ Madi giggles in the back</p><p>‘It’s a surprise, kiddo’</p><p>She glares at Bellamy but he responds by giving her a cheeky wink and resting his hand on her thigh.</p><p>After a twenty minute drive he pulls up at a place she instantly remembers and her heart soars. She hops out of the car and stares at the hill before her, Bellamy slides up next to her with Madi in his arms.</p><p>She smirks at him and takes Madi from his hold. She whispers into her daughters ear and sets her down on the ground, winking at her daughter now that their game plan is set out.</p><p>‘Race you to the top’ She smirks at him</p><p>‘Oh you’re on, princess’</p><p>‘Go’ He yells and she sprints away from him, turning her head to see her daughter pounce onto Bellamy, grabbing onto his legs to stop him from chasing her.</p><p>She cackles as she watches Bellamy fumble and trip slightly, as he regains his balance. Then he lifts his daughter up onto his neck and Madi shrieks in excitement, before cheering on her dad to catch ‘mummy’ up.</p><p>Traitor</p><p>Bellamy starts charging towards her with Madi bouncing up and down with each stride he takes. Shit. She turns on her heels and sprints, with her legs pounding on the dry leaves below her.</p><p>The bench is in her sights, she’s so close but she feels two large arms picking her up off from the ground and she watches her daughter rushes past, jumping up triumphantly onto the bench.</p><p>She looks up at Bellamy who smirks holding her in his arms.</p><p>‘Put me down’ She states, trying to convey a face of anger but she’s pretty sure she’s grinning.</p><p>‘Okay’ He states and loosens his hold on her causing her to tumble out and roll onto the pile of leaves underneath her.</p><p>‘Oops’ He smirks and backs away from her, strutting over to the bench.</p><p>She manages to roll out of the pile of leaves, standing up. Brushing all of the muck, twigs, leaves and branches off of her and then she’s charging at Bellamy, leaping onto his back and bringing him down to the floor.</p><p>She straddles his waist, pinning his arms to the floor.</p><p>‘I win’ She smirks down at him and pecks at his lips. She hops off him and rushes over to sit next to her daughter, bundling Madi up onto her lap as they look out at the town below them</p><p>‘Cheater’ He whispers into her ear, sitting down next to them and wrapping his arms around them. Madi giggles and snuggles into her father’s embrace.</p><p>They stare out at the city below them, a few lights from cars and houses twinkle down below them.</p><p>‘Happy Birthday Mads’ Bellamy states, kissing the top of their daughters head.</p><p>‘Thank you, Daddy’ She giggles, ugh her baby is so sweet and kind. She rests her head on Bellamy’s shoulder and beams down at the bundle of joy that sits in-between them</p><p>‘You’ve got ten minutes left of your birthday, baby. Is there anything else you want or any questions you have?’ She asks</p><p>‘Are you and mummy together now?’ She asks turning to look up at both of them</p><p>‘Yeah, we are kiddo’</p><p>‘Are we all going to live together now?’</p><p>‘Yes’ She answers and Bellamy squeezes her hand</p><p>‘Does this mean I can get a brother, Alex is going to get a new baby sister, but I really want a baby brother, can I have a baby brother?’</p><p>Bellamy chuckles by her ‘We’ll see, baby’ She answers</p><p>‘Anything else you want to know, kiddo’ Bellamy asks</p><p>‘Ummmm... um... How did you and mummy meet?’</p><p>Bellamy turns to her and smiles, smirking at her with that big cheesy grin she loves so much. She nods at him, motioning for him to start and he clears his throat, turning to look out at the town below.</p><p>‘This is a long story, kiddo. I hope you’re ready’</p><p>
  <b>- One year later -</b>
</p><p>She’s getting a real bloody sense of déjà vu. Madi runs up to her, pouting so she tries to bend down but finds it rather difficult because of the dress she’s wearing.</p><p>‘What’s wrong sweetheart’ She says tucking a strand of Madi’s hair behind her ear.</p><p>‘I got juice on my dress’ Madi states, looking at the floor.</p><p>She holds her daughters hand and sighs they’re going to be late and Ronaldo’s going to get on her arse.</p><p>‘Come on’ She smiles and they rush down the corridor, finding the bathroom.</p><p>She picks up Madi and places her on the bathroom counter, she runs the tap and blots and the stains. The stain disappears, only leaving a faint outline so she holds Madi underneath the dryer allowing the dress to dry.</p><p>Once the dress is dry she places Madi back on the counter and turns to look at her own reflection in the mirror. Her long blonde hair lies past her shoulders, curled, her dress hangs perfectly on her frame, she looks at her figure adoringly as soon it’ll disappear. Two small white straps illuminate her collar bone, her dress hangs loosely off her upper frame, the lower half of her dress puffs out in classic ball gown fashion. She tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear and sighs.</p><p>‘You look really pretty, mummy’ Madi says and Clarke smiles down at her daughter</p><p>‘Thank you sweetheart’</p><p>The door opens and Raven sticks her head through the door and sighs in relief when she sees them.</p><p>‘Thank god, Ronaldo’s screaming bloody murder out there.’ Raven picks up Madi from the counter and they leave the bathroom, walking back down the hallway to the main entrance.</p><p>Ronaldo see’s her and thrusts his clipboard at what appears his new assistant. He rushes towards her, to throw his arms around her. She moves slightly to the side to shield her belly and Ronaldo stops just short of her.</p><p>‘Of course, sorry darling’ As he looks at her stomach and she nods her head, placing her hands protectively over her pregnant stomach which is starting to show, just slightly. ‘Must not crinkle the dress’ Ronaldo states and instead leans over to kiss her cheeks, twice of course.</p><p>‘Thank god, Raven found you. I was worried I was dealing with another runaway bride fiasco, given that Bellamy is the groom, I couldn’t rule it out.’ Raven snorts at her side. ‘But you’re here so let’s start’ Ronaldo smiles and marches off, barking down his headset. </p><p>‘I hope he never changes’ Raven sighs</p><p>‘I hope he does’ Miller says walking past them, to line up in their pairs.</p><p>Raven sets Madi down and walks her over to the front, where Alex and Jordan stand holding their baskets.</p><p>Ronaldo walks her over to the back of the room, where Murphy stands and she rests her head on his shoulder as they watch the bridesmaid’s and groomsmen file down the aisle.</p><p>‘I swear we’ve done this too many times now, someone should get a divorce just to spice things up a bit.’ He jokes and she laughs at his side</p><p>‘You nervous?’ He asks nudging her side</p><p>‘No’ She says and smiles up at him, shaking her head.</p><p>‘Good’ He whispers ‘because if you bolt, just let us all know so we can schedule therapy for Ronaldo. He’s been staring at his four and half stars on yelp for the past hour now.’</p><p>She breaks out into laughter again and Murphy wraps his arms around her holding her close. She watches as O and Lincoln walk down the aisle, hand in hand. She rests her head on Murphy’s shoulder.</p><p>‘Thank you for choosing me to give you away’ Murphy says</p><p>‘Of course’ She smiles sadly as she watches Harper and Monty file down the aisle.</p><p>‘He would’ve been so proud of you’ Murphy says pulling her closer and she smiles up at him, tears fill her eyes and Murphy pulls out a tissue from his pocket. ‘Ah shit. Raven told me not to make you cry.’</p><p>She laughs at that and takes the tissue, placing it in the corner of her eyes, to hopefully wipe away the tears before they smudge her make-up. She breathes in deeply, shaking out her hands and turns back to look at him.</p><p>‘How do I look?’</p><p>‘Meh’ He answers and she smacks his chest, causing him to laugh. ‘You look beautiful, princess’</p><p>‘Thank you, John’ She smiles and he pulls her into a hug.</p><p>She watches as Raven and Miller walk down the aisle and Ronaldo turns to look at the doormen, giving them the thumbs up. The oak doors close and Murphy extends his arm and they walk over to the doors and they stand behind them.</p><p>‘You ready to get married?’</p><p>‘You ready to give me away?’</p><p>‘Yes’ He says answering her question</p><p>‘Yes’ She says answering his question.</p><p>The large oak doors open.</p><p>‘The bride is walking’ Ronaldo repeats down his headset and the music plays.</p><p>Her heart beat picks up and Murphy pulls her hand tighter in his arm, giving her a reassuring squeeze and they walk forward down the aisle. She spots her future husband, dressed in a black suit at the other end of the aisle. His head perks up when he hears the music and his head turns to look at her.</p><p>He looks good. His beard has been trimmed back a bit, probably done by Octavia. She smiles at him and gives him a small thumbs up which he returns by winking at her.</p><p>They slowly walk down the aisle together, she spots her mother who has Madi sitting on her lap, Abby smiles adoringly at her, she reaches out her hand to her mum, who takes it and squeezes it. They reach the end of the aisle and Murphy pulls her into another hug.</p><p>‘Welcome to married life, princess’ He chuckles into her ear. ‘You’re going to love it’</p><p>She tightens her hold on him. ‘Love you, John’ She whispers</p><p>He pulls back and winks at her, walking over to stand next to Miller and Lincoln, just behind Bellamy.</p><p>She walks up the steps, smiling at her two best friends in front of her, Bellamy the man she’s about to marry and Wells the man who wanted to officiate the wedding the minute she told him that Bellamy and her had started dating.</p><p>‘You ready’ She mouths, turning to look at Bellamy</p><p>‘He’s good’ Wells butts in and she chuckles, nodding her head as she looks down at the cards below her.</p><p>‘Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony. I believe you both have prepared your own vows’ Wells declares, turning to Bellamy first.</p><p>Bellamy looks at her, smiles and takes her hands in his. ‘I didn’t quite know how to summarise my love for you. I was sitting in our kitchen and I heard Octavia telling her kids Sophia and Alex an old story that I used to tell her and instantly I knew what to say, so thanks O’ He says and looks at his sister, the room chuckles. ‘Zeus, created humans with four arms, four legs and two faces, he became afraid of the human’s power when they were together so he split them apart and condemned them to spend their lives searching for their other half. You, Clarke Griffin are my other half, I found you when I was six and when I was twenty-five I lost you, but now at thirty-two I will never let you go again. I will never hurt you or treat you badly, you inspire me every day. You are an amazing mother, friend, girlfriend. I am so proud of you, princess. I love you, Clarke Griffin and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you and our family.’</p><p>She’s astonished at the beauty in his speech and it seems that everyone in the room agrees with her, because the room breaks out into heartfelt gasps and she even spots a few people tearing up.</p><p>‘Clarke’ Wells gestures for her to start.</p><p>‘I don’t know how I’m going to follow that’ She jokes</p><p>‘I don’t think you can’ Wells states and the room breaks out into laughter. Bellamy chuckles in front of her and Clarke shakes her head.</p><p>‘Bellamy, you are the most generous, kind hearted man I have ever met. The way you are with Madi, Sophia and Alex it makes me love you more than I thought possible. You are an amazing brother, father, friend and I’m sure you’ll be the best husband. I can’t wait to meet this bundle of joy’ She smiles placing her hands on her stomach and his hands rest on top. ‘We’ve put each other through a lot, but I’m happy we’ve taken the opportunity to move on and start a fresh. I love you ridiculous amounts Bell and I can’t wait to start our life, together.’</p><p>He smiles and holds her hands again.</p><p>Wells clears his throat and asks for the rings, Murphy and Raven step forward passing them each other’s rings. Her hand shake slightly as he slides her ring on, she fits his rings on and they look back up each other, smiling.</p><p>Wells clears his throat and she turns to look at her best friend.</p><p>‘I’ve known Bellamy and Clarke, since she was four and he was six. I’ve watch them grow together and apart. When they finally got their shit together…’</p><p>She glares at him because they’re in a church, but he ignores her and continues. She’s not particularly religious but she’s pretty sure that’s a form of blasphemy.</p><p>‘All of us up here, we were relieved and I immediately asked to ordain their wedding, even though Bellamy hadn’t proposed. I had to ordain the wedding of my two best friends, because when you’re together you… you make each other better people…’</p><p>A few tears gather in her eyes and she wipes them away, chuckling at Wells.</p><p>‘So before I make Clarke cry. I have my final lines to say’ She scoffs at that and Bellamy beams down at her.</p><p>‘By the power invested in me by the state of Arcadia. I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride’</p><p>Bellamy lunges forward, cupping her cheeks and kissing her deeply. She wraps her arms around his neck and she feels him dip her back slightly. She grins against his lips and looks into the eyes of her now husband. The room breaks out into cheers.</p><p>She steps over to Raven, O and Harper and brings them all into a hug, whilst Wells, Miller and Murphy embrace Bellamy.</p><p>She looks over at smiles at her brilliant wedding planner and sees him smiling at her. She blows him a kiss and he returns her gesture. Ronaldo swiftly turns around and shouts at his assistant.</p><p>‘Let me see my rating at yelp, five stars, fives stars’ He pleads and looks down at his iPad, squealing in success, jumping in the air. It looks like everyone’s gotten their happy ending.</p><p>She releases her bridesmaids and turns back to her husband, who takes her hand and they walk down the aisle towards the large oak doors.</p><p>—</p><p>It’s just him and her, walking up towards the dance floor hand in hand, for their first dance. Murphy, Wells, Lincoln and Miller woop from the sidelines and the instrumental music kicks in. He grins at Clarke and pulls her into his hold.</p><p>
  <em>‘When it’s not always raining there’ll be days like this.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When there’s no one complaining there’ll be days like this</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When everything falls into place like the flick of a switch</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Well my mama told me there’ll be days like this</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>When you don’t need to worry there’ll be days like this</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When no one’s in a hurry there’ll be days like this</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When you don’t get betrayed by that old Judas kiss</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Oh my mama told me there’ll be days like this’</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He sways with his wife on the dance floor whilst his favourite song plays, he occasionally feels her baby bump brush against him as they dance, causing his heart to pound out as he holds this beautiful woman.</p><p>They took another chance on each other and he’s so happy they did, that they let go of all he animosity so they could be here today.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>‘When you don’t need an answer there’ll be days like this</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When you don’t meet a chancer there’ll be days like this</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When all the parts of the puzzle start to look like they fit it</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Then I must remember there’ll be days like this’</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Yes it’s possible that this could have happened to him years earlier if a certain someone hadn’t intervened, but he’s grown up more in the past eight years, then he would’ve.</p><p>And now he’s come home. So he keeps dancing and forgets about the past focussing solely on the beautiful petite blonde swaying in his hold.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>‘When everyone is up front and they’re not playing tricks</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When you don’t have no freeloaders out to get their kicks</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When it’s nobody’s business the way that you want to live</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I just have to remember there’ll be days like this'</em>
</p><p> </p><p>God he loves this song</p><p>‘I love this song’ His wife mumbles into his chest and his heart squeezes in delight, because he’s found the one, his person. He knew it when he was six and he knows it now.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>‘When no one steps on my dreams there’ll be days like this</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When people understand what I mean there’ll be days like this</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When you ring out the changes of how everything is.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Well my mama told me there’ll be days like this’</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He sways with Clarke for the continuation of the song and looks out at his friends and family that smile blissfully at them. He catches Wells eyes and winks at him, causing his old friend’s smile to grow.</p><p>He looks over to his sister who sits holding his niece Sophia, whist Alex and Madi sit on the floor in front of her. He’s so proud of his sister, so damn proud. He blows her a kiss and Octavia beams back at him.</p><p>He looks back down at his wife below and the song finishes, the room breaks into a noise of claps. He leans down and kisses her, just because he can.</p><p>He’s never felt more happy, more at peace in his life and it’s all due to her.</p><p>
  <strong>- The End - </strong>
</p>
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